That Woman Again ... let her rest for all our sakes

I have lived without the television all day but as I turned it on half an hour or so ago, CNN started broadcasting their Special Investigations Unit programme 'Growing up Diana'. A whole hour devoted to that woman who lived the high life and conned many. Concerned for others, charity work ... lots of that. Come on, though, the rubbish they are coming out with is the most egregious rubbish you have ever seen.

They have found people who knew her when she was 6 years old and who KNEW THEN how special she was ... how sparkly and bubbly. When she was 13 she had more care and compassion in her than ANYONE ELSE of her age and standing.

One thing that does come across properly I think is why she was the way she was. Maybe she felt sadly neglected and damaged by the break up of her parents' marriage, she seemed to have looked for affection elsewhere: from people who could hardly refuse. I see it as a one way street leading straight to her own door.

One of the key "experts" they trotted out was the woman who Diana was a nanny for. She dragged out some letters and read the most astonishing tripe into it all.

Can we stop this money making, let's show our love and concern for Diana racket now?

DW

Ramblings as I travelled from Halifax to Manchester and then on to Dubai via Heathrow

Getting to Manchester Airport

 

Getting to Manchester Airport from Halifax is a breeze. Just get yourself onto the M62 and then follow the signs. Finding the car park wasn't that difficult but I did have to ask once for directions. Much easier than getting to Heathrow from Abingdon and the parking costs a third of what it costs at Heathrow.

 

Louis Vuitton and Burberry … why?

 

I know I am not a dedicated follower of fashion and I can see that some designer clothes, handbags and shoes are treasured and are to be admired but Louis Vuitton bags and anything with that dull, dull, dull Burberry plaid? I look at those LV bags and think, there must be something fantastic inside them that I am not privy to? I should look inside one some time and see what I'm missing. Burberry really is just fit for Chavs in my opinion.

 

British Airways Check in

 

For a reason that wasn't given I couldn't check in for my Dubai flight on line so I went to the BA check in desks at Manchester and asked if they could do it there for me. Fascinating psychology ensued! At first I was subjected to a barking check in clerk, the sort who thinks that they are doing me a favour by being there. I didn't react and answered all questions and handed over all information when asked. Then, a transformation: she didn't know how to do what I needed to do and had to keep asking her colleague for help. That made her humble and by the time I left, I was checked in and she had even booked me a vegetarian meal within the 24 hour embargo period. Her tone was much more acceptable by the time I left and she apologised for not knowing what to do as she'd never done it before. There, a bit of humility now and again isn't a bad thing is it?

 

I flew from Manchester to Heathrow with BMI and these thoughts careened through my head:

 

The plane was late arriving but we weren't given any information as to why and yet the departure gate was manned constantly from my arrival there, an hour and a half before scheduled take off … couldn't use a microphone and PA system to tell us what was happening? I had my connecting flight to catch and I get really nervous when things don't come together and I don't know why.

 

No one told me that airside at Terminal 3 at Manchester there are either no shops and cafes or if there are, they are nowhere near where I was (the airport leaflet suggests they are there but where?) I had left my sister's house after a cake fest of a buttered Chorley cake and a piece of deliciously moist carrot and walnut cake each. So by 5:30 – 6 pm I needed some sustenance as I knew I wouldn't be eating on the Dubai flight until around midnight. In the end I had to be satisfied with a Snickers bar and a coffee from a vending machine. Better than nothing but where are the communication channels at these airports?

 

The flight to London is a 40 minute flight and I couldn't believe it when people bought sandwiches and drinks.

 

I bought the cheapest possible ticket for the flight to London but for a further £2 each way, I could have chosen my seat. Why would I want to do that? Even though I'm desperate for an aisle seat on longer haul flights, I really don't see the need to worry about seating arrangements on a 40 minute flight. Save your two quid!

 

Similarly, they offer business class on that flight and if you'd bought a business class ticket you would have paid at least £100 more than me per flight. The seats were the same size in business as where I was and apart from using the lounge the only other benefit I saw was that the drink and sandwich was free, on that 40 minute flight. If I were in charge of travelling expenses at the companies that have paid for these business class tickets, I would review such a policy.

 

Trains Between Terminals

 

Why have they built the platform for the trains between Terminals 1 and 4 so far from the Terminals themselves? Terminal 4 is a particular challenge as it's at least a quarter of a mile walk at a guess. For me, that's fine as I love the cut and thrust of running through airports but what if you're old and doddery and in a hurry and you've no chance of getting anywhere on time if you're running late?

 

Language 

• On the BMI flight, they didn't ask if we wanted to buy a drink or a sandwich, they asked if we wanted to purchase them.
• On a notice just as I was about to get on the Dubai flight I saw that they were commencing to install a new fire alarm system at Terminal 4: if it were me I would have started installing it!
• It is odiously common now for cabin crew to say that, for example, we are about to land into an airport. Makes me cringe, that!

 

 

DW

Are they warped?

I thought you'd like to know that I am getting all sorts of requests to exchange links with various web sites as these people are trying to boost their google etc ratings.

 

I am getting around 2 - 3 requests a week now and recently have had requests for links from companies selling or dealing in the following products and services

 

Rubber products

Financial services

Commercial capital equipment

 

I am nowhere near being linkable to any of these things. Do they think I'm mad or desperate?

 

Am in Dubai again and have some observations to make, a little bit later. Worth waiting for!

 

DW

Moving house

Wish me bona fortuna today as I move house: leaving Abingdon and wife behind and moving to Halifax.

 

I think everyone should at least go through the motions of moving house: ours is a three bedroom semi and yet it contains a vast amount of detritus. We are throwing away a lot of rubbish. Things that have seen better days and things that I’m sure we never really needed. I spent all day yesterday cleaning and moving things around but by the end of the day I couldn’t see any progress except that the kitchen is now spotless.

 

I recommend a minimalist life style if you can’t go through the virtual house move that I recommend. Don’t buy anything using a credit card, use cash only and if you don’t have the cash for something, then it may well be something you don’t need. By using this technique you will be forcing yourself to think about your actions. Credit and debit card decisions are instantly gratified: of course, your local favourite charity shop will benefit in a year or two but that’s not the point!

 

When we moved into this house in Abingdon, we had some good furniture to get rid of and contacted a few second hand furniture dealers and was met with the same response from each of them: sharp intake of breath through clenched teeth, ‘I’d be robbing myself if I paid you more than £tiny … there’s no demand for this sort of stuff at the moment. Come to my lock up and you’ll see it stacked high with stuff like this.’ So, I got £tiny for some good stuff.

 

I tried the same this time with some things that are not needed but that are good: single bed, large fridge/freezer and so on. This time I met with this, sharp intake of breath through clenched teeth, ‘There’s no demand for this sort of stuff at the moment. Come to my lock up and you’ll see it stacked high with stuff like this.’ Then EITHER, ‘It’ll cost you £80 for me to take this away for you’ or ‘I can take it off your hands for you for nothing.’ So, desperate as I was because TESCO took my card advertising these things a couple of weeks ago and when I went to check the ad because I’d had NO calls I found they hadn’t put it on their board as they had promised they would. Another reason NOT TO USE TESCO. I got nothing for some good stuff.

 

DW

 

 

Plea to Microsoft

I have been engaged in a conversation with a Microsoft Word discussion list and we have been talking about bullets and numbered lists. Several people have been solving some fundamental and very difficult problems. At the end I sent in the following mini rant ... thought I'd share it with you.

 

>>Thanks a lot Suzy, Christine and Robert and I will work through everything you say carefully.

 

However, in the faint and remote hope that someone from somewhere in Microsoft will feel just the slightest twinge of guilt over this and then do something about it ...

 

I have bought MS products for decades now and what I want to do is to switch on Word, start typing, copying, pasting, saving, formatting, bulleting, listing ... WITHOUT the need for any of these conversations we keep having here. Why can't I rely on my bullet etc settings. Why can't my default or chosen settings be allowed to be the over riding setting that cannot be over ridden without my permission? Like that odious English UK v ANY OTHER LANGUAGE problem. I say as sternly as possible I WANT ENGLISH UK as my default DO NOT CHANGE. The second that I copy and paste anything that is not English UK I encounter a problem where Word can tell me like a gadfly that I've made a spelling mistake even when I haven't.

 

As a matter of interest has anyone corrected a word or phrase in PowerPoint (not sure about Word) to be told that even though it's correct in both UK and US English it's wrong? look closely and you might find that a word is part UK English and part US English. Took me a LONG time to realise that one!

 

Did I read somewhere that MS has spent $8 billion on its 2007 and Vista development? A lot of that has been wasted by the look of it and Gates himself was interviewed by the BBC recently when he said that his passion (eugh!) is software. Looks like it!

 

Duncan

In London with Dima yesterday shipping his goods and chattels around and we called in on Chinatown for a bite to eat. Had a good feed at an all you can eat buffet place which was not the spookily named Tai Ka Look restaurant. Read that more crefully ... is it a real Chinese name? Yes, they had translated the name into Chinese characters which I cannot reproduce here. Don't you think it really reads Take a look? I got a parking ticket as we loaded Dima's gear too. £120. I have appealed on two grounds:

• There really was no warning sign where I parked although there were signs elsewhere
• The attendant should have left me a leaflet saying that if Dima really is a resident (he is) then the fine will be reduced ... I found this out on the Islington web site
• There is a fair deal charter on that web site too in which they promise not to be unreasonable ... loads of spaces yesterday so I caused no harm to anyone and if I had I would have moved

DW

More rotten language

Mrs Brown, the film, is on in the background and I have just heard the following purported representations of language from Britain of the 19th century.

 

The Prince of Wales said that he wanted to speak WITH his mother, the Queen. As if he would have said any such thing.

 

John Brown himself said that he was looking OUT for the Queen when he would have said that he was looking after her.

 

DW

 

 

Top tip 2

Who'd have thought it: two major top tips in one day?

 

If you insist on walking into a car park on the road rather than on the pavement, make sure you don’t pass under the barrier as it comes back down after a car has just gone in to park.

 

DW

Top tip

Here's a priceless top tip that came to me this morning.

Do NOT drop a wooden shelf on your toe especially when you are wearing
neither shoes nor slippers.

DW

This is grandson Archie ... coming on isn't he? DW

Watch the news today because there is a meeting of African States in Zambia later today. The news is full of the doom, death and despondency that Mugabe is visiting on his country. The communiqué at the end of the summit will probably send Mugabe home happy: there will be no condemnation of any note ... it's a sad reflection on the world of the politician whose words are sounding increasingly hollow and dangerous.

DW

Hans Rosling

This is a simulcast.

 

I have just watched a fascinating video on the ft.com web site: FT Videos ... Specials ... 17th July 2007.

 

Everyone should watch it as it concerns preconceptions, students, teachers, international health, international development, statistics, presentation skills ... really, you need to watch it.

 

You can also find this video by searching for Hans Rosling, a Swedish Professor, in google and doubtless yahoo, ask and any other decent search engine.

 

DW

Burnley again

I went to bed last night thinking that Burnley had been dumped out of the Carling Cup competition. This morning I woke to find that the opposite is the case!

 

I checked the results last night after 10 pm and saw this:

 

Grimsby 1 v Burnley 0 (ET)

...

 

I noticed that it said ET and even though I knew it should have been AET, I missed the point: that report was telling me either that the match was still in progress or the page was not up to date.

 

Burnley equalised in extra time and then won the penalty shoot out.

 

Onwards and upwards lads!

 

DW

I have just been in a stationery shop in Abingdon to have a one page document photocopied: it cost 10 pence and the alternative would have been to drive home, copy it and file it then go back into town to deliver the original. As I was in the shop I suddenly remembered that I need an eraser for my propelling pencil. The assistant asked her boss if they had such erasers for my brand and she got a curt, "You'll have to bring the pencil in, they're all different." The assistant helpfully rummaged though a box and I said, as she proclaimed her own cluelessness, "I'll bring my pencil it but it's the same style as that one." The boss came back in and barked, "That's for a Shaeffer ... " Well, I'm sorry but I won't be going back there as there are alternative stationers. I know the assistant and I were just playing at looking for the erasers but I didn't appreciate his rudeness and aggression. DW

The English Premier league football season started at the weekend and how about this for confusion? On Friday I read a report that clubs had spent £200 million in buying players over the close season. On Saturday, just before the Sunderland (1) v Spurs (0) game, someone said the amount spent on players was £350 million. After the game that amount had become £400 million. Which is the correct amount? Who knows? Fascinatingly, Burnley's season started with a marvellous 2: 1 win over West Bromwich Albion on Saturday. Well done lads! DW

Style quiz

I am a full time protector of the English language as you know and I have just scored 10 out of 12 in an online quiz being hosted by The Economist newspaper: why not try it yourself? Here's the link: http://www.economist.com/diversions/quiz.cfm?quizname=stylequiz

 

DW

Paranoia

I took a walk into town today and as I set off, on foot, I spotted a young chap from the house almost opposite. I have not been introduced to the man so we don't know each other. It takes around 20 minutes to walk into town and after about 5 minutes he started looking over his shoulder at me and suddenly speeded up. I thought, this Eastern European looking chap thinks I'm the secret police so I'll play along and I speeded up too. He then put on a fair burst.

 

He rounded a corner and by the time I got there he had put around 30 metres between us. I kept up and crossed over to the other side of the street where I think he lost sight of me: lots of trees! He then slowed right down and I think he was shocked to see me out of the corner of his eye level with him. However, I carried on at the pace I'd got up to and arrived before him at the road crossing. As I started crossing the road I noticed that he had got to the railings around 10 metres from the crossing and was standing stock still, waiting for me to cross the road and make the decision: which of the three possible forward directions would I take?

 

Since I was really minding my own business I carried on and haven't seen him since.

 

Bit of a lark that! Wonder what he'll say when he gets back home?

 

DW

Is this what is meant by a clipped moustache?

DW

Maths for the, erm,dunderheaded?

In an advert in last week's Economist newspaper, there is an advert for some educational materials. The materials look interesting and if I were in the mood I would buy them. However, this is what caught my eye:

 

Please send me ... which consists of 24 half hour lectures ... They then add, '12 hours in all'.

 

Do you get the impression that Fermat's last theorem, Fibonacci numbers and the Pythagorean theorem and geometry of ellipses might be a bit beyond someone who needs to be told that 24 half hour lectures equates to 12 hours?

 

DW

Now all of these weak minded people who are hell bent on mashing our language are calling powdered baby milk FORMULA.

It makes me so frustrated to listen to these supposedly educated people on Radio 4 hurtling their way into speaking AmerEnglish. What they fail to realise is that the version of American they are importing is the language of the uneducated American. If they cared to listen to and read work by educated and professional Americans (not journalists, I should stress, since they are as bad as ours) they would see that they do understand prepositions, they do use adverbs and they don't use street slang in the way that our journalists are doing.

Last week one of these clowns even said that a politician should fess up ... for goodness' sake.

DW