Milt Cohen sent this wry smiler to a discussion list that I'm a member of and thought you'd like it too: An Accountant was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The Accountant guy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess I'll stay with you for a week and do ANYTHING you want." Again the Accountant guy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The Accountant said "Look, I work as an Accountant. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool." DW

FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS Here's another site that you can use to watch Fran's progress . and if you want to know what the weather's like at Mar del Plata, Argentina Mar del Plata is found at 37.9° S 57.6° W if you want to find it in your atlas ... click here, though, for a Map of Argentina ... Mar del Plata is just below Buenos Aires, almost vertically down on this map, right on the coast. DW

Daughter Fran takes centre stage again: her swimming prowess has taken her to the IPC World Swimming Championships at Mar del Plata in Argentina ... nice place to be at this time of year no doubt. Currently Fran is ranked as per the following World Rankings in her chosen events, with dates and timings too: Tuesday 10th Dec 50m Freestyle PB 1:13.34 ... ranked 5th Thursday 12th Dec 200m Freestyle PB 5:16.54 ... ranked 5th Thursday 12th Dec 4 x 50m Freestyle Relay (she may or may not be in this) ... no ranking Friday 13th Dec 50m Backstroke PB 1:10.51 (should be her best event) ... ranked 4th Sunday 15th Dec 100m Freestyle PB 2:32.97 ... ranked 5th You can find out a huge amount about this event at the IPC Swimming Site: you need to click and trawl to find what you want. Look out for Fran's results. These results could also determine who goes to Athens for the Paralympics in 2004 too ... we're rooting for Fran! DW

The visitors counter for my home page clicked to 2893 as I opened up this morning: that's my parents' old telephone number! Yesterday I got to breakfast to find NO BANANAS! I was horrified since I've had a banana with my breakfast for years. This morning I went down a bit earlier and found one: only two left, even so!! Report on the old London smogs of around 50 years ago that reminded me of the time I was talking to my assistant in Almaty around 9 years ago about Britain and things and she said something like "We have read in books that in London there is a terrible fog and people are falling down". The things these Soviets wrote! Still, Sky News reminded us this morning that in the smog of 1952, 12,000 Londoners died due to breathing difficulties. They also went on the say that whilst the smog has gone, it's been replaced by an invisible alternative that is not so deadly but it's evil nonetheless. Oxford, just down the road from chez moi, is held up as an exemplar of a British city that has banned traffic from its centre and they are claiming it's a miracle cure. In reality, they have cleared only a relatively small area and if it has had the effect they claim then we are ALL, world wide, in imminent danger of falling down. DW

In between all my hard work I've been downloading a pile of Christmas Carols and tunes to try to get me in the festive spirit. I've got lots now in a variety of styles, too. I chose many of the songs and tunes that I grew up with or that became popular in the 1980s ... nothing new seems to be worth a light I'm afraid. DW

A query came in from Sophia in Morocco about IAS 1 and the IASB's specimen financial statements. I had to apologise for saying I couldn't give them to her ... then realised I could: they are in my IAS 1 Questions and Answers file if anyone else wants them. Vim Ge from India wanted my views on the Kazakhstan Institute of Management, Economics and Strategic Research (KIMEP), where I was the Director of the MBA Department for around four years: I told him what I know since I think he was considering being a student there. He also likes and uses my book: Management and Cost Accounting, published by Prentice Hall and still available! Farah wrote from Sierra Leone to talk about IAS 1 and Banking ... I am not a banking expert so I sent my IAS 1 Q&A file and my best wishes! Ricky from the UK wanted some advice on how to carry out a full ratio analysis exercise on travel and holiday companies: I told him that I have recently finished a major section on this for Biz/ed but don't think it's been published yet and there's always the excellent Fool School for lots to do with financial accounting and analysis. DW

Went on a long drive to a textile factory yesterday. Good and interesting stuff. Now it's raining here. Just felt the need to say hello! DW