Saturday morning and there's a major BANANA INCIDENT to report. Who'd have thought that early Saturday morning would be a controversial time to go down to breakfast? I'm not one of those who can sleep in at the weekends until goodness knows when: I wake up at the same time as I do during the week ... I've been blessed with a non idling brain I'm afraid. So breakfast can be as early on Saturday and Sunday as it is on Monday and the rest of the week. So this morning I went down for breakfast at around 7:45 or so and got the feeling that I might have been the first there: certainly one of the first. The fruit bowl was replete. I found three, no four, bananas. As I stood there serving my muesli and milk, glass of milk and cup of coffee I thought "I think I'll have TWO bananas today to make up for the missing ones!" I went for and took one banana, honest I was only going to have one when two people burst out of the kitchen: dressed in black fatigues and looking menacing, they shouted "Down, put those bananas down. Put those bananas down. NOOOOWWW!" I was shocked and they knew it. They came forward menacingly as I froze, unable to deal with this banana situation. I didn't know what to do: what would you do? Put down just the ONE banana or try and answer them: but I've only got one? They wouldn't believe me, anyway. If I just admitted to one banana, they'd insist on searching me but then they'd have to accuse me of eating the second one ... and the skin?? My banana arm must have twitched and the tall fat one shouted "Put those bananas back in the fruit bowl or we'll have to take you out". Gulp, they were serious: who were they? What did they want? In the book I'm reading at the moment the author describes a situation like this: I'll do what he did ... call their bluff. I'll tough it out, I thought. I said "No! I've only got one banana and I'm keeping it. There was no banana for me yesterday and I've a jolly good mind to take another one if you don't behave yourself." The shorter of the two froze now. He stood stock still. His eyes narrowed. As his friend caught up with him, he put his hand on his shoulder and said in a low, serious voice, "Let me deal with this." I said "Deal all you like." Beads of sweat had formed on my brow and my legs were turning funny. I knew that in the book the man who toughed it out took a beating that landed him in hosptal for a month and rehabilitation for four months after that. Who was I trying to fool: I'm a coward! All this for the sake of a banana? "No banana yesterday, you say?" "No!" "Just one banana today, you say?" "Yes! Why would I take two?" "We thought ... " "Of course not!" "Oh, OK then." And off they went: strutting their way back to the kitchen. To pounce another day, perhaps? I must write up to someone. They gave me a huge fright! I think I'll call them the banana bunch! Just be careful what you say to yourself as you stand next to the banana bowl, that's all I can say!! DW

The previous entry was a joke! Did you guess? DW

I like lists and here's a tribute to the British swimmers out in Mar del Plata as I write this. Let's hear it for those plucky swimmers! From the British Swimming site again here's: The IPC World Swimming Championships take place in Mar del Plata, Argentina between Tuesday 10th December and Monday 16th December. The British squad of 40 comprises: James Anderson (Broxburn) Sarah Bailey (City of Salford) Ritchie Barber (City of Salford Elaine Barratt (Out to Swim, London) Gemma Bennett (Redbridge Borough) Nicholas Boylan (City of Canterbury) Kenny Cairns (Port Glasgow Otters) Jeanette Chippington (Slough and Eton Dolphins) Jenny Coughlin (Tyldesley) James Crisp (Nova Centurian, Nottingham) Jody Cundy (Hatfield) Murray Dingwall (Aberdeen SC) Gareth Duke (Torfaen) Melanie Easter (Camphill Edwardians) Chris Fox (Loughborough Town) Chris Hendy (Northgate) Rhiannon Henry (Bridgend County Swim Squad) Jemma Houghton (Hackney Warriors) Elizabeth Johnson (Torfaen) Natalie Jones (Colchester Phoenix) Sascha Kindred (City of Manchester Aquatics) Dervis Konuralp (Hackney Warriors) Darrren Leach (RTW Monson) Rebecca Lee (INCAS, Scotland) Nyree Lewis (City of Manchester Aquatics) Andrew Lindsay (Glenrothes) Giles Long (Barnet Copthall) Maggie McEleny ( Port of Glasgow Otters) Emma Mounkley (City of Manchester Aquatics) Chris Pugh (City of Manchester Aquatics) Tim Reddish (City of Newcastle David Roberts (Stirling HPC) Oliver Roberts (City of Bradford) Ian Sharpe (City of Cambridge) Anthony Stephens (Bridgewater) Jane Stidever (Leicester Penguins) Matthew Walker (City of Manchester Aquatics) Frances Williamson (Colchester Phoenix) Tracy Wiscombe (City of Manchester Aquatics) Marc Woods (Barnet Copthall) DW

FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS It's happened again: Fran's got another Silver medal and another record. Here's the news from the British Swimming site, just scroll down a bit ... As well as Sarah Bailey silver, another 4 silvers were won on the day. There were new British records for Rhiannon Henry in the S13 100m Butterfly and Fran Williamson in the S3 50m Backstroke. Don't have the details yet, but well done again Fran. DW

FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS Two more medals a Bronze and a GOLD: see the story of the gold ... scroll down to read The female 20 point Freestyle relay team of Fran Williamson (Cambridge), Maggie McEleny (Greenock), Natalie Jones (Colchester) and Jeanette Chippington (Slough) also dominated their race and won convincingly in a new British record time. It's just as good in the Bronze story, same link, next paragraph but one: There were also seven bronze medals won by the team. The six individual medals going to Rhiannon Henry, Bridgend (S13-400 Freestyle, British record), Fran Williamson, Cambridge (S3-200m Freestyle, British record), Anthony Stephens, Bridgewater (S5-200 Freestyle, British record), Giles Long, Barnet (SM8-200m Individual Medley, British record), James Crisp, Nottingham (S9-100m Freestyle) and Ian Sharpe, Cambridge (S12-100m Butterfly). When I get the times, you can rest assured that they'll appear here!! DW

FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS Family connections have found the results page. Here's Fran's first result: look how young she is (17 years) compared with the rest of them (average age of the rest = 30 years) This Blog doesn't seem to like tables so forgive the huge gap below! Event 27 Women 50 LC Metre Freestyle S3 S3

	Name	Age	Team	Finals
1	Valle, Patricia	33	Mex	1:04.43
2	Williamson, Frances	17	Gbr	1:06.71
3	Conradi, Annke	37	Ger	1:06.85
4	Barroso, Susana	28	Por	1:10.75
5	Zuazua Del Estal, Amaia	26	Esp	1:13.64
6	Shcterbinin, Marina	30	Isr	1:21.36
7	Vaza, Perpetua	39	Por	1:22.45
--	Kodama, Tomoko	27	Jpn	DQ

Find these results from the Official Site for Day 1 by clicking on the link on the menu on the left of the screen. Keep clicking! DW

Then there's Dan Rather on CBS: is he alive or is he just a video montage from a former century? I know that news readers need to be neutral people but there's neutral and there's seeming brain death. Sorry, just how he appears to me. No offence intended as he's probably paid to act the way he does. DW

Something's got to give in the BANANA SAGA. Flushed with success from yesterday I went down for breakfast maybe a shade later than yesterday ... no bananas in the fruit bowl BUT there were two men each with a banana or banana skin on their table. One had finished and the other was making a meal of it by having only eaten half of his. I thought, has he read my Blog from yesterday? Has he been sent to torment me by leaving half a banana knowing that I could never enjoy the bit that he wouldn't eat? Then he ate it. Of course neither of these two could have enjoyed their bananas as much as I would have. Moreover, why don't they take one of the many apples, pears, oranges or kiwi fruits that are on offer? I considered making an announcement. I have also considered asking the hotel to hide a banana for me or have the waiter bring one to me under all circumstances! I'll keep you posted. DW

Lolling around last night and Monty Python's Flying Circus came on the Bosnian television channel that trips over to English after around 9pm. The audio was all in English and they had Bosnian sub titles. I just wonder how much of this got through to the Bosnian language. Also, did it matter that some of the comedy involved jokes about people like David coleman, Peter West and Brian Johnstone? If you're a fan and can remember that far back, how about the Beethoven sketch involving a Mynah bird and his wife constantly coming in to interrupt, ask questions and do the vacuuming? The Mynah bird mimes something to which Beethoven responds, "I'm not deaf yet!" ... How about the two very camp High Court judges sketch as they limp wrist their way through what happened to them in Court 1 today? The locals could see the camp but do they have limp wristed people like that either in reality or in their comedy? I must ask!! DW

A picture I took on the way to work yesterday morning: notice the way I have managed to catch a few snowflakes in the flash ... a rare talent! As a bonus I've resurrected my Surprise visit by Santa from last year, too! DW

Slip sliding to work today after slip sliding back to the hotel last night. I'm not very steady on my feet with just plain shoes and snow covered pedestrian street footpaths! This afternoon, though, a thaw has set in and the pathways are just wet now so that I can stride forth as usual! The oranges here are marvellous. I have been eating them since I got to Sarajevo and just bought a shed load more at a market near the office: delicious. The BANANA ISSUE (see the post on 5 Dec 02, too): this is a simple but vital issue. There are people staying at the hotel who seem to be both early risers AND banana lovers. Hence yesterday I had a near panic attack as I got down to breakfast at around 7:45 am and from the doorway I could see just one banana in the fruit bowl and other guests HOVERING! I acted calm and nonchalant so as not to alert anyone to my banana mission. I ambled up to my usual spot by the muesli dispenser and having served myself with the cereal I lurched forward, as discreetly as possible, and took that banana. I hadn't even poured my milk when I went for that banana. Today I got up, had my shower but didn't shave: I didn't want to go through yesterday's ordeal again. I just climbed into my jogging trousers, slung a pullover on over my thermal vest, put on a pair of black woollen socks and my slippers and headed straight down for breakfast ... 7:25 am. I made it! There were THREE bananas in the fruit bowl and no one menacingly near them. I relaxed but was still focused and felt happy that I had started the day without that needless edge that worrying over the last banana can bring. At the market, by the way, I bought myself six bananas and ate one almost immediately. Bananas are supposed to make us happy, don't you know: in my case it's true! DW

FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS Fran wrote: HAHA i got silver!!!!! WOW!! Still cant believe it, it was soooooo strange being on the podium watching Anneke getting bronze. The medals are quite huge and heavy. We got flowers and chocolates too! Roll on my other races! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO love fran Thought you'd like to know. DW

FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS Here's Fran's "Official Profile" according to the British Swimming Association Web Site! Scroll down to page 10 to reveal all! DW

FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS Go to www.britishswimming.org and scroll down for the link to the event or just click here: IPC World Championships Team Guide ... and you can find details of Fran's events and the rest of the British team. Here's the Offical Event Site ... can't see the results there yet! DW

FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS FRAN NEWS Great news from the land of the Pampas and Johhny Gaucho: Fran has won a silver medal at the IPC World Swimming Championships in Argentina. Here's what she wrote to her mother: Oh my God I've just got silver....... came 3rd but the 1 who won (Japan) was so quick, she got the WR by 20 secs so got questioned and DQed. so it was Patricia, Me then Annke! can u believe it? i beat ANNKE!!! I did 1.06!! Mother adds: Anneke is usually pretty impressive. She holds several of the World records so it is quite something for Fran to beat her. I add that the event is the 50m freestyle and Anneke must be the German young lady Anneke Conradi who was third in the world rankings with a time of 1:02:3: Fran's previous best was 1:13.3 Brilliant news! DW

Richard asked the following two questions: 1 How do firms treat fixed costs when using cost plus or mark up pricing? 2 Is there a difference between fixed costs and overheads in Biz Studies. I now I should know but me and accounts have never met :) I answered as follows: If anyone is using cost plus pricing, there is a very good chance that they have no idea what there fixed costs are. One of the huge appeals of cost plus pricing is that it appeals to the idle or those who don't analyse their costs very well. Otherwise, fixed costs are simply added to the variable costs to comprise total costs and then apply the formula: Total costs Plus profit Equals selling Price That's it, whether you call it cost plus or mark up pricing. Overheads can be fixed or variable! Take a look at Classification of Costs at duncanwil.co.uk and appreciate that overheads and factory expenses are synonyms. Even on my own page I use the word overhead in a slack manner but essentially they are FACTORY overheads oka the total indirect costs of materials, labour and expenses. If you need more, I have scads in this area, as you might imagine. A big mistake is to call administration, marketing, research, finance etc costs by the name overhead when they aren't: although modern usage will scream that they are. You MIGHT find this page useful, too, but you have to work through it to get the answers! Cost Accounting Case for Beginners at duncanwil.co.uk DW

Why not have another list to add to your collection? This is some of the music I’m listening to for Christmas and New Year: eclectic isn’t in it! Oh Holy Night: The Mormon Tabernacle Choir … it just appeals to me! I believe in Father Christmas: Greg Lake … I bought this when it first came out yonks ago and have never tired of it Stop the Cavalry: Jona Lewie … love the sound and one day I’ll follow the words Walking in the Air: Aled Jones … no reason except that I like it White Christmas: Bing Crosby … can’t avoid another tireless favourite Jingle Bells: Frank Sinatra … and someone else who I can’t place; can’t even tell you the name of the style but this is a racy version that includes the phrase “I love those J … I … N … G … L … E … bells” and “Jingle Bells, Jing, Jingle Bells …” from The Sinatra Christmas Album Silver Bells: Perry Como … I’ve come across this for the first time this year and it’s new and lively Gaudete: Steeleye Span … folk music types dressed in rags, rocking back and forth appeal with this pseudo intellectual offering Adeste fideles: Vienna Boys’ Choir … and why not have a bit of Latin … venite adoremus? When a child is born: Johnny Mathis … sloppy sentimentality of the Miss World interview kind with just the right amount of echo Two Little Boys: Rolf Harris … I associate this song with Christmas as I’m sure it came out at this time of year initially Thank God it’s Christmas: Queen In dulci jubilo: Mike Oldfield … I think because it was always around at Christmas and it stuck The Holly and the Ivy: Royal College of Music Choir and Brass … not the best but this is a song that I always want to hear and this version is pleasant enough Ding Dong Merrily on High: King’s College Choir … some lovely voices, they enunciate so clearly and they say Hosanna in exCHelsis! Away in a Manger: Nat King Cole … I love his voice and he does credit to this carol, so why not? Silent Night, Holy Night: Bing Crosby … suitably soporific; and while we’re at it … Stille Nacht: Heilige Nacht: Frans Bauer En Marianne Weber … a bit Alexander Brothers in style but it’s originally a German song I think and this is the version I’ve got so we’re stuck with it! Introitus Resurrexi: Einsiedeln Choral … just one track from a Gregorian Chant record that’s nothing to do with Christmas directly but I’m listening to it anyway; and I dream of having a voice like this … from Die Tradition Des Gregorianischen Chorals Beethoven Piano Concerto 5 in E Flat opus 73: second movement adagio un poco mosso … not Christmassy but I came across it fairly recently and like it Any comments? DW

Travelled back to Sarajevo following my weekend in Blighty. Traffic so snarled up around Heathrow that I came within a whisker of missing my flight. Then it was an hour late taking off!! They didn't make up the time en route so I had around 10 mins to hurtle across the airport in Vienna to catch my connection and as I did, they closed the aeroplane door behind me ... and left my luggage in Vienna. Another lesson I almost learned once is that you MUST take you toilet bag in your hand luggage if you want to be able to smell nice, shampoo your hair, shave your face (or legs or whatever) on arrival. Luckily my hair is very short so I don't need a comb or brush and I had deodorant etc with me but the toothbrush that I left in my suitcase is important! Otherwise, it was fine although I see that Austrian Airlines are doing the same as British Airways on European flights now: give everyone a sandwich and forgetting the cooked meals. DW