Following my post of23 December at 10:16:48 am, here is the press release from the Leasowe Castle Hotel: I wrote to them so was on their distribution list for this. The press release starts with this: Over the past two days it has emerged that there has been a serious misunderstanding between Alan Tudball and Leasowe Castle with regard to his cancelled wedding which was due to be held in April of this year ... Click here to read on ...PRESS RELEASE from leasowe castle Looks like a happy ending. DW

Ever felt outraged at the antics of a business? Here's a story that should make your blood boil: Hotel sues injured soldier over cancelled wedding and again at Iraq hero being sued Here are the post and phone details of the hotel The Leasowe Castle Leasowe Road Moreton Wirral Merseyside CH46 3RF t: 0151 606 9191 t: 0151 678 5551 To write to the hotel over the internet go to their web site, click on the contact link at the top left of the page and write to them like I did. DW

Speaking of Santa Claus, here's a page that tells his story. Worried that Santa's outfit's red because Coca Cola decided it should be? Think again as you unravel the history of this benevolent chap and learn that the name Santa Claus comes directly from the Dutch sinterklaas and not from the Yorkshire dialect "ee bah gum"; but even that is more romantic sounding than the German name: Weihnachtsmann! Anyway, go here to read all about it: THE HISTORY OF SANTA CLAUS I can't vouch for the accuracy of the history lesson on that page, of course, but what the heck! Then again, click on the link at the bottom of that page to go here to learn a lot more about Christmas and its various traditions. DW

If you must spend your life on line why not spend part of that time googlewhacking? Here's what googlewhacking is: The object of Googlewhacking is to find two words which, when entered into the Google search engine without quotes, yield one and only one result ... It's a lot harder than you might expect, and of course, if you succeed in finding one and post it to http://www.googlewhack.com , within a very short time your whack will yield more than one result! Such is the ephemeral nature of the beast. (By the way, "ephemeral Googlewhack", without the quotes of course, yielded 35 results when I tried!) I tried duncan's nuts but that returned 1,510 hits: so, I'm not alone then! Some of the successful searches, around 256,000 reported so far are clever but many are just odd. The best result so far is 165 hits for jock mcplop! I got a few where there were no hits! Have a go and do better than I did! DW

I went to a school presentation evening last night and it went well enough although it was held in the gym and was decidedly parky (that's nippy, chilly or even cold if you've not heard that expression before!). The headmaster stole the opening part of the show with his yellow shirt and brown tie: can't imagine who his style guru is but they must have been having a night off. The kids were reasonably smartly turned out on average but I did find it surprising that some parents and children think it's suave to turn up to a formal presentation evening in torn jeans, horrifically untidy hair or wackily masticating chewing gum as they collected their awards. These events are often the highlight of a person's life in many ways and who needs someone else to make some kind of poxy statement and lower the tone? The senior girl's choir did well but I did wonder why they had chosen to sing nothing but songs from across the Pond: as if we don't have enough of our own songs to celebrate. They also had a large painting by the stage that included a prominent version of the Stars and Stripes: I don't get it. I do know that if this had been an American school or even a French or German one there would have been our own national flag in a prominent place of display. Not in good old modern Britain, you don't. Apart from that it was interesting to see that the most successful children at that school excelled both academically and as people: they spent a lot of their own time volunteering, organising, working in the community AND working hard at their school work. These young people have realised that they are in charge of their own lives: they don't wait for someone to tell them what to do, they just get up and do it. Ask these people if they are ever bored, if they ever have nothing to do and do they ever just sit at home glued to the television. You know the answers. Well done them! I also believe that if you got to know these young achievers well enough you would find that they aren't especially privileged: they're not necessarily super smart either. Clever enough of course but the important point is that they drive themselves: they are smarter than the average for that reason. They will beat many of their contemporaries in many of life's races because of their positive attitude and they deserve it. The lesson is, get off your @rse and get on with it! DW

I thought I'd cracked this archiving lark by finally getting Blogger.com to accept my full archive path ... I have done the same thing many times but this time it worked EXCEPT that it then decided that the files didn't need the .html extension adding to the hyperlink. So I added the extension only to find that blogger then fouled up the name in another way. I will either be giving up on an archive or moving to another WeBlog site. Watch this space. DW

I have just come across two brilliant Christmas/New Year cards and feel the need to share them go to www.cardmaker.co.uk and take a look at Christmas Humour. Here's one of them: DW

A propos the way things happen, here is the copy of a contribution I made to a discussion board to do with Economics and Business Studies Teaching: A couple of issues of interest: well, I think so anyway! On my web site at www.duncanwil.co.uk/solvlp.html I have a demonstration of the use of Excel's SOLVER function: a linear programming maximisation problem. Over the last couple of days I have been in correspondence with a visitor to my site and as a result I have added a useful section on plotting linear programming graphs in Excel. I know a lot of people have difficulties with plotting LP graphs on paper, let alone in Excel so this addition should prove useful for many. Your feedback will be welcome! Tutor2u.net have as their chart of the day a comparison of the GfK Consumer Confidence Index and Base Interest Rates and their headline reads Consumer confidence drops sharply in November following base rate rise. I think this is an excellent discussion case for anyone wanting to draw students’ attention to the development and presentation of an argument. On the face of it there is a high degree of correlation between the fall in the confidence index and the rise in base rates in November of this year. Moreover, go to http://www.martinhamblin-gfk.com/library/news_item.asp?NewsID=118&usa= which is the source of tutor2u.net’s data for the consumer confidence index and you will see this: Roger Wright, Director of Martin Hamblin GfK, commented: 'We are seeing consumer confidence falling again from its peak in July after a period of uncertainty. The increase in interest rates has probably affected how consumers perceive whether it is the right time to make major purchases.' Is this the final word on the subject? No it isn’t! Take a look at the rest of tutor2u.net’s graph and you will see that rises and falls in consumer confidence can be absolutely independent of changes in the base rate: Dec 2001 – Dec 2002 being an excellent example of where this is demonstrated. At other stages you will see that a fall in base rates has apparently led to a fall in consumer confidence: see Jul 2001 – Oct 2001 for evidence of that. So, read more from Martin Hamblin GfK to appreciate more of a balanced view of the consumer confidence index than the headline view from tutor2u.net: Martin Hamblin GfK provide us with a variety of additional reasons why consumer confidence might change in addition to changes in the base rate. Finally, in terms of the presentation of a stilted debate, take a look at the presentation of the value added measures relating to Key Stages 2 and 3 that begins here: http://www.dfes.gov.uk/performancetables/vap_02/docB.shtml Follow the links from page to page and you will find a huge amount of discussion on this topic … but there’s something missing! There are no real comparators to the value added data. All that we see are last year versus this year but there is nothing to help us to appreciate how and why value might have been added to or subtracted from. Get your better students to discuss the additional information needed by parents, teachers and government to provide much more balance to the debate. Otherwise we will all believe that Grammar Schools are the only ones managing their value added effectively: again the headline comments from today’s television and radio. In reality, of course, when all information is taken into account Grammar Schools might be performing badly. Let’s see absolute and relative data, as appropriate, for SSRs, revenue expenditure levels, capital expenditure, levels of administrative support, repairs and maintenance expenditures and more and only then we will see better balance. You could also ask the question of why industry hasn’t reported value added in its annual reports and accounts for a decade or more now. Best wishes DW

Maureen asked: I was looking at the solver example on your website. Can you tell me how you created the graphical solution. I have been trying something similar using Excel's XY scatter and just can't get it work. Thanks Maureen D I answered by telling Maureen to go back to www.duncanwil.co.uk/solvlp.html to see the addition I have made to the page in which I take you through plotting the graph step by step as LP graphs can be horrible to plot in Excel! In addition, I almost forgot to point out that I prepared a PowerPoint Presentation a while ago to help people to prepare Linear Programming graphs: it's here and it's an animated presentation so all you need to do is to start the slide show then sit back and relax. Another excellent service from yours truly! DW

I know, I know, I rant on about broken links on my site but leave the archive of this blog unreachable. I'm doing it, I'm doing it! I can't fathom it at all so I'm giving it another crack! I've tried to change the path again but blogger.com updates on the batch basis so it could be 24 hours before the changes take effect. Trust me! I have just been correcting a few more File Not Found Errors and can happily reveal that the following pages SHOULD run error free now: spreaddes.html split.html intpiv.html cbeh.html ... although I can run this and couldn't find the error that was in my error log file and I have uploaded the various jpg and gif files that were missing from here and there. Thanks to everyone who reported errors and although I am sure there are more I am working to get rid of them. DW

The postman brought me two copies of an article I have just had published. If you can get to a university or college library or are a member of the Chartered Institute of Management Accountants, take a look at December's issue of Financial Management and on pages 30 - 33 you will see Welcome to Sarajevo: all about some cost accounting work I did in and around Sarajevo in Bosnia-Herzegovina and written by yours truly. DW

One of those "eeesh!" moments arrived today. I read an article in a magazine that included some moving average and seasonality calculations. I was interested in working on the data and set up a spreadsheet to replicate the work I had found. I am pretty sure I found a simple but important mistake in the results in the article so I wrote to the author with all due deference to suggest that there may be a mistake in his article or there may be something I didn't follow but I said I think you might check your work. The author wrote back as follows: All the calculations were carried out using an Excel worksheet. I'm fairly confident they are OK but there may be some rounding errors. Astonishing reply in my opinion. I said to him that there were rounding errors in his work, that was obvious but not important; and I pointed out where there is likely to be an error; but to suggest that because the work had been done on an Excel spreadsheet and therefore he is "fairly confident" that it's all OK was a surprise from one so exalted ... not galvanised into checking it to dispel all doubt! DW

A question just came in relating to my ratio analysis work hosted by Biz/ed. Here's the question and my response follows: From Mark: I believe there's an error on page: http://www.bized.ac.uk/compfact/ratios/ror3.htm where it says: Did you notice that we use the Equity Shareholders' Funds instead of Capital Employed? In fact, they are different names for the same thing! We could call the ratio the Return on Shareholders' Funds (ROSF) just as easily if we wanted; but generations of accountants and students only know it as ROCE. Isn't it true that Capital Employed is shareholders funds plus long-term liabilities, so that ROCE = ROSF only if a firm has no debt, no gearing, and is 100% equity financed? My reply: There is always a worry when one discusses capital employed and for years now I have tended to solve the problem by giving a very general definition of it, such as the one that Mark has pointed out. For A level, 1st year undergraduate and foundation professional accounting work I think the general definition is fine. For higher level work, 2nd year undergraduate and upwards, I would have no hesitation in defining capital employed much more tightly: maybe this is Mark's problem as he seems to be a university student or lecturer. Just to try to prove my point and to reassure Mark and all Biz/ed visitors, I took a look at three definitions of CE from three books that I often use. Here is what I found: 1. A company's capital employed is shown by taking the figure for total assets from the balance sheet. 2. Capital Employed. A measure of the total value of the operating assets of an equity. different measurements are appropriate for different purposes. In some cases, owners’ equity is the appropriate measurement: in an incorporated company, this will be called ‘shareholders’ capital employed’. In some cases, long term borrowings may be added to owners’ equity, while in others dividends payable by the entity and taxation payable by it may be added. 3. Capital employed (in trading) = Share Capital + reserves + all borrowings including obligations under finance leases, bank overdraft + minority interests + provisions – associates and investments. Government Grants are not included. 4. Capital employed (overall) Associates and investments are not deducted, while the overall profit figure includes income from investments and the company’s share of the profits of associated companies, in addition to trading profit. Sources 1 John Ellis and David Williams Corporate Strategy and Financial Analysis Pitman Publishing 2 Derek French Dictionary of Accounting Terms Financial Training 3 and 4 Geoffrey Holmes and Alan Sugden Interpreting Company Reports and Accounts Prentice Hall It wouldn’t be a problem for me to add the above to the page that Mark refers to and I could revise it a bit to make it fit more seamlessly if you wish. Let me know! Otherwise, I hope Mark has found that section to be useful and I am grateful for the opportunity of discussing this issue with both of you. DW

Accountancy student Andrew and I have been corresponding recently: he's just taken a cost accounting exam with the AAT. Anyway, he's had the life confused out of his with the standard costing volume and related variances so I thought it might be useful for everyone to see my reply. Take a look at this page to see what we talked about. DW

I answered this question today and you can find this information, with live hyperlinks at www.duncanwil.co.uk/pest.html ... I have now got to discuss the limitations of PEST analysis but am finding it hard getting any info on it. Here's what I replied ... sorry but I'm pushed for time and haven't made any of the URLs into live hyperlinks: just copy and paste into your browser to do that. I started by interrogating GOOGLE worldwide for the limitations of PEST and got as many sites to do with greenfly and leaf mould as I did to do with PEST analysis. I then got rid of the limitations of part of the search and fared no better. So, I interrogated pages from the UK section of www.google.co.uk for pest analysis and here is what I think is a sample of the best that can be found there. This is a sweep through the various techniques that are discussed in the standard texts: nothing directly to do with the limitations of PEST analysis but it might spark off a train of thought. http://tbs-home.tees.ac.uk/staff/u0000514/M&S2 Wk 3 03.ppt http://www.netmba.com/strategy/pest/ begins with this "A PEST analysis is an analysis of the external macro-environment that affects all firms. P.E.S.T. is an acronym for the Political, Economic, Social, and Technological factors of the external macro-environment. Such external factors usually are beyond the firm's control and sometimes present themselves as threats. For this reason, some say that "pest" is an appropriate term for these factors. However, changes in the external environment also create new opportunities and the letters sometimes are rearranged to construct the more optimistic term of STEP analysis." and ends with this "... it may be difficult to forecast future trends with an acceptable level of accuracy. In this regard, the firm may turn to scenario planning techniques to deal with high levels of uncertainty in important macro-environmental variables." Some clues, therefore, as to what limitations we might be talking about. There's a relatively comprehensive introduction to PEST analysis here http://www.businessballs.com/pestanalysisfreetemplate.htm It also spends a lot of time comparing PEST with SWOT ... worth a read and might also spark something. IF you have the time and energy here's a real example of the application of PEST analysis http://www.mod.uk/linked_files/wsa/phase1-anx_h-i.pdf 38 pages relating to submarines being withdrawn from service. There's a hint on the potential limitations of this application of PEST analysis on page 3, paragraph 5 "... It should be noted that the costs given take no account of risk, growth, profit or VAT ..." Take a look at this http://www.marketing-intelligence.co.uk/help/Q&A/question14.htm and you will see that the final paragraph discusses some of the limitations of PEST analysis. There is also a link at the end of this page where you are invited to download a more detailed paper on PEST and SWOT analysis: you need to register in order to do that and the paper you will then be able to download is fine but nothing new. Here are two PowerPoint Presentations from Durham that relate to real cases and that again might be useful introductions to the subject: http://www.dur.ac.uk/p.j.allen/smarkets.ppt http://www.dur.ac.uk/p.j.allen/258,3,PEST Analysis The second of the above presentations is a nuisance as the author has left all of the click, click presentation gizmos in that aren’t especially web friendly … you’ll see what I mean when you get there! Happy reading and happy weekend. Hope that’s useful. DW

Went with Mrs W to see the Nurse at our local Surgery this week and this caught my eye. In the corridor near the nurse's room there is a wall mounted height measurer. Stand with your back to the window frame in this case as that's where the measure has been attached and slide the scale up and down until it rests on top of your bonce. Take a look at my artistic representation of reality: Notice, the floor immediately beneath the measure is uneven. In order to be measured properly, one needs to lift up one's right leg to counter the slope of the floor that begins immediately below the measure. Alternatively, just stand there and be measured inaccurately. The wonders of modern applied science! Not a massively serious problem but a bit more thought could have been taken! DW

Car insurance renewal time came and I decided that I didn't need comprehensive insurance following my accident of earlier this year when my car was written off and I had to shell out £2,000 to get myself a decent set of replacement wheels. That decision saved me £120 for the year. They suggested that they might be able to help me with my home insurance too and, by jingo, they did: for better cover my broker has saved me 50% of my buildings and contents insurance. Welcome to modern rip off Britain where the unwary simply don't know that the deal that someone did is nowhere near the optimum. As I am now insured for everything with one company, I got a further £20 discount on the car insurance. Still, someone else will now take these savings from me for another and as yet unknowable reason since that's the way of the world! DW

My finger's almost healed now and it's no longer painful, the nail has grown back by about 2 millimetres and the skin has repaired itself by about 50% of what's needed for a full recovery! Good news, eh? DW

The Moral Maze programme on Radio 4 last night was an outrage. We were treated to a long list of angry sounding people discussing whether Europe was becoming more anti semitic, whether the State of Israel should exist and whether anyone who believes that if Israel shouldn't exist they must automatically be branded anti semitic. The people presenting the arguments were all zealots and had clearly come to the programme with completely fixed positions. Some of the "witnesses" were treated badly in my opinion: the problem seems to have been that everyone knew everyone else or they knew everyone else's work and writings on this subject so they were like boxers who had been watching films of each other as they prepared for a fight! At one point someone wondered where the hate of Jewry had come from and likened it to racism ... for all of their learning they seemed ignorant of the fact that the Magna Carta contains references to Jews that are hardly flattering; and that was written in 1215, almost 800 years ago! I wish they could have found a better topic. I have to confess that I am completely turned off by anything to do with this issue as it has been festering for decades and we are, wretchedly and unfortunately, no nearer a solution: billion of Pounds are wasted on this problem, too as the "best" brains in the political world can find no solution. Then the BBC invites these bad tempered people onto Radio 4 to discuss whether the problem's getting worse or not! Waste of time DW

I am horrified at how Britain is fast becoming the country in which we speak American English with a British accent. On BBC radio news yesterday we were told that Birmingham has taken delivery of a temporary Ferris Wheel display. What on earth is a Ferris Wheel? A Ferris Wheel is what we used to call a Big Wheel and we used the term Big Wheel for many decades. All of a sudden the BBC has decided that we need to call it a Ferris Wheel. Today we heard from the Today programme on Radio 4 that Donald Rumsfeld is in Afghanistan today and Louise Ducet reported that there is a problem in part of Afghanistan as certain War Lords make mischief. I wrote to Sky News a couple of years ago about using the term War Lord since I feel it adds a false legitimacy to what is really only mass murder and general mayhem. Sky News wrote back saying that they had changed their wording, that day at least, as a result of my missive, during the rest of that day's reporting. There is no such thing as a war lord in my mind, they are soldiers, terrorists, freedom fighters or what you like but the term Lord should really be reserved for something more sublime than butchery. DW

Went to Brimingham yesterday, an early start to get to my destination by 9 am: did it with 20 minutes to spare. On the opposite carriageway of the M40 as I was wending my way, there was the remnants of an accident: between junctions 12 and 13. That accident had blocked the nearside lane and was causing a blockage of around 5 miles: traffic queuing, at a standstill, for up to five miles. I heard on the radio that this accident had happened at least at 7 am. As I started back they announced on the radio that the problem had gone so I wended my way back and went down the M40 happily. However, I came to join a 4.5 mile slow moving and sometimes stopping queue FOUR HOURS AFTER THE ORIGINAL ACCIDENT. As I got to the place where the accident had happened, I saw that the lorry/ies invovled were then off the carriageway but we we had still been slowed right down. I estimated that I lost 30 minutes of my time. This set me thinking that relatively simple problems such as a motor accident can snarl up an entire motorway for upwards of four hours. By the time I got there the problem was poor but not horrific. Just imagine the people who were trapped by the accident just after it happened ... how many deliveries were delayed, how many people were late for work or dropping off the kids? What were the real costs and knock on effects as a result of what was probably caused by bad driving and/or poor mechanical maintenance. Answers on a postcard please! DW

I went to Swansea last Saturday, 29 November, to see daughter Fran swim in an International Swimming Event. She did well enough but the most important point is that she will remain in Swansea until today, Thursday 4 Dec, with her coach so that he can work on her style and stroke. The National Wales Swimming Pool is a magnificent affair: 50 metre pool together with diving/learning pool and outside there are hockey pitches, rugby pitches ... a marvellous set up. Take a look: The sound system is marvellous too and the "DJ" had my taste in music. Well, until it got to the Tom Jones Fest that is! Then again we were in Wales. Fran was staying at the Marriott Hotel and that's quite a nice affair and we did lunch there! Can't say I recommend the veggie butty but it filled a corner. One rubbishEnglish gripe is that the menu says that the sandwiches come with chips ... when the butty arrived it arrived with CRISPS. Aaaaagh! I wanted CHIPS. If you're watching this, Marriott people, PLEASE help people like me to understand what you mean. This was my first trip to Swansea and it's a breeze to get there: just get onto the M4 and drive for around 2 hours then turn left and you're there. I didn't have much time to look around but there is a massive newly developed central area and a fet old fashioned terraced houses. The setting on the way in is very attractive: at the end of the valleys system of South Wales. It was dark and drizzly all the way down from Abingdon until I got into Wales and then the sun shone brightly and that lightened up the vista! DW

Pleased myself today as I managed to fix the rear windscreen heater in the car today. Courtesy of an online discussion list of fellow Beemer owners I was given detailed instructions of what to do and how to do it ... then did it! Here is photographic proof that I was in there and at it! Happy motoring! DW

A relatively minor problem such as the one I caused myself yesterday just goes to highlight one thing: aren't we normally healthy, mobile people a pile of moaners? My finger is a bit of a mess: I will be slightly incapacitated for a few days as it sorts itself out. There are people whose entire lives are dominated by massive inconveniences that most of us can barely dream about let alone experience. So, if you hear me whingeing about my finger, just remember what I just said! By the way, let's record a hearty well done to those plucky rugby players of ours who have just won the Rugby Union World Cup for the first time ever: beating Australia in the final in Sydney by 20 points to 17. I watched most of the match as it was a decent affair. Well done lads! DW

How many of those now I don't believe I wanted to do that moments have you had? A few, eh? I had one of those moments a couple of hours or so ago: I sliced the end of my finger off. Honest, a genuine chunk: nail, skin and underlying tissue. I almost took a pic of it for you but it took me so long to stem the bleeding that I changed my mind. When Mrs W heard about the incident she wanted me to go to the hospital ... it's bad enough but there's nothing for them to stitch or anything so all they would do is what I did. Anyway, here is a pic of a harmless view of what's left. DW

So I've been to Bristol now. Bristol's a place I've been past many times but for some reason have never been into before. My destination was really simple to find: off the M4 onto the M32, follow the road in a straight line and turn left into Berkeley Square and there you are. Couldn't park but there was a decent multi storey car park just round the corner that had a weird pricing policy. Berkeley Square is a nice looking place to work and I imagine in Spring, Summer and early Autumn it's lovely. Didn't get any chance to take any snaps although I did take my digital camera with me. There is a huge church that rises up out of the ground as you approach Berkeley Square from West End and that was snap worthy but I blew it. What is this life if full of care we don't have time to stand and stare? That's me for ya! I didn't get to appreciate the city at all except for one thing. I left the car park and turned left as I'd entered it from that self same direction ... the ONLY road sign I saw AT ALL could have come from the 1930s (cast iron sign, white background, black lines, knobbly glass bead reflectors) and pointed towards Gloucester so I went that way. I didn't see any more signs for around 20 minutes as I edged along the road heading nearer and nearer to rush hour. All of a sudden we came to a bifurcation (that's a fork in the road and that's a Royal "we" as I was alone!) and they announced that the M5 and M4 were thataway ... then it became the M4 and M5 were thataway ... OK small point but which came first the M5 or the M4? The M5 as it turned out. That route was sub optimal but it got me back on track and I got home safely enough so that can't be bad can it? Thought you'd like to know that! DW

For the first time in 18 years I had a migraine yesterday and it was just as awful as always. It always starts the way it has since I had my first frightening atack when I was about 14 years old. I see lines, auras apparently, in my eyes and then I go half blind for a while. Within an hour or so I start being sick and then I can do nothing but sleep and vomit. I have to vomit until my stomach is completely empty. I had a headache yesterday but that's not normal for me and it was no where near as severe as the headaches that other migraine sufferers describe. I can't eat, I could only sip at some water after I'd stopped feeling sick and I just have to wait to sleep it off. Today is also normal as I mope around a little bit with remnants of nausea, remnants of a headache and a bit of a feeling of torpor. Tomorrow will be a much better day! What triggered the migraine? I think chocolate is a trigger for me and I'd just eaten a couple of the blighters! I also have a passionate dislike of bright lights and yesterday morning was a very bright day. So, sitting in a very bright room with two delicious chocolates suitably ensconced could have been the problem. For the first time ever I was at home when an attack started so I was able to go to bed immediately and rest. My eye problems passed very quickly this time and maybe that was because of the rest factor. Otherwise, it was the same as always. It's awful and as any migraine sufferer will probably tell you, it's a dreaded affliction as it's always at the back of your mind. Even though it's 18 years since my last attack and it was 14 years prior to that that I had my previous attack, I know instantly that it's arrived and I know what's coming from then on. You don't forget! DW

I have just had a scan done of dozens of search engines and here are some very encouraging results for my site. If you search for Duncan Williamson on the following search engines, this is how I am placed:

Engine	Placing
www.lycos.com	3
www.msn.com	6
www.yahoo.com	1
www.aol.com	2
www.netscape.com	2
www.excite.com	2
www.webcrawler.com	1
www.alltheweb.com	3
www.lycos.co.uk	1
www.altavista.co.uk	1
www.msn.co.uk	1
www.yahoo.co.uk	1
www.hotbot.co.uk	1
www.aol.co.uk	1
www.excite.co.uk	3
www.mirago.co.uk	2
www.freeserve.com	3
www.overture.com	1
www.allthesites.com	12
www.go.com	1
www.mamma.com	1

Not bad, eh? By the way, if you are interested in homoeopathic medicines and you go to France, you might care to pop into a pharmacy over there. On the basis of a sample of 5 or 6 different homoeopathic medicines, the French sell for around £0.60 - 0.80 what we sell in the UK for £3.75 - £4.00. It's a national outrage! Of course. DW

Here is an experiment. Call me mad or call me sad, you can choose which it is but since today is my birthday and I am not normally given to celebrating such events, I would like to receive from all of my readers a simple birthday wish. All you have to do is to click on the link that follows and then send the thing to me ... all automatic but you can add a message if you wish. Click here to send. That's all! Secondly, please take a look at this if you are even in the least bit interested in how the NHS works. It's my account of a morning spent at a hospital in the UK. DW

I know this much: Judge not that ye be not judged (taken from the Bible from the book of Matthew chapter 7 verse 1). However, I'm going to say this anyway. On Wednesday of this week I was walking through the town centre at a time when children should still have been at school when I came across a young boy walking through town with a woman whom I assumed to be his mother: the boy seemed to be around 12 or 13 years old and this is how he looked: seriously overweight baggy trousers tee shirt four or five sizes too big a baseball cap a ring hanging from his pierced eye brow This boy is coming to epitomise modern Britain where weak parents of single minded children are allowing those children to walk roughshod over everything they see and come up against. This boy is fat and I blame his parents for allowing him to be fat: I work hard with my own children if I think they have a problem with their diet and their exercise levels. The boy was wearing trousers and a sleeveless tee shirt: it was chilly and his mother ought to have made the child wear something more substantial. I don't like baseball caps on anyone but that's my personal preference but it set off this boys attitude and that turned me off, too. That such a young child could have had his body pierced, though, is as much of a crime as allowing him to become overweight. Doubtless the child will have a tattoo by the time he is 18 years old: another crime against the body in my opinion. These are my observations and opinions: I know many of you will think that I am a fuddy duddy who should lighten up a bit; but I can't. In a sense I want to protect these children from their weak and misguided parents and themselves. This nation is following the USA into obesity just as we have followed them into an appalling standard of spoken and written English. This nation has become one where it's no longer good enough, for example, to wear trainers but that they have to be a certain brand of trainers. The trainers are very expensive but yet their true manufacturing costs are very small: we allow ourselves to be cheated out of as much as £50 or £60 a pair in some cases as we pay for advertising, sportsmen's sponsorship deals, multi stage mark ups and retail profit margins. The boy in my story was wearing a "designer" baseball cap, a "designer" tee shirt; and probably "designer" trousers and trainers. Could his eye ring have been "designer" too? End of rant for now! DW

I'm back following a 10 drip to Provence, that's France you know! I've kept a sort of diary that will keep you riveted but first: Joyce from Korea wanted answers to a couple of IAS based questions: done and sent! Natalie from South Africe is receiving ongoing advice on the elements of budgets: doing that! Karin from Austria is receiving ongoing help on knowledge management: doing that! Tom describes himself as a Mature student struggling with bookkeeping and has asked for help with my specimen question ... I need to know which question he means! Sarah from Geordieland has started a dissertation relating to Marks and Spencer and we are discussing her overall plan: doing that! Clive from Birmingham is an accountant who has come across a fascinating Benford's Law type problem involving the Inland Revenue: looks to me as if the IR is making a mess of it and I am working with Clive to sort it all out: doing that! Andrew from Surrey wants a bit of technical help on the bookkeeping aspect of recording bad debts: doing that! Mahmood from India wants to know why LIFO is being taken out of IAS 2: this is what I told him ... Hi Mahmood, Good question: here’s the answer! LIFO was banned in many countries, eg the UK, for a long time and then IAS 2 came along and allowed it. However, after just a few years even the IASC is about to disallow LIFO. The reason is that LIFO provides an organisation with a potential taxation advantage over alternative stock valuation methods. To prove that this is true, set up a simple stock valuation question for yourself by inventing some purchases, usages, costs and sales of some raw materials and then prepare the stock record card using … make sure that you build in cost inflation FIFO LIFO AvCo then prepare the Trading and Profit and Loss Account and compare the answers you get. This will help you to see what LIFO can be a problem. However, the USA has always liked and allowed LIFO and continues to do so as far as I know! Let me know if you need any more help. Best wishes Watch out for the French Trip Diary: a week in Provence I'm calling it! DW

Marks and Spencer, UK Retailer, has been at odds with HM Customs and Excise over VAT on teacakes: no really, it's gripping the nation! M&S argued that teacakes should be zero rated for VAT purposes and HMC&E agreed. What they disagreed on, however, was the recovery of the VAT already paid on the teacakes already sold that had been subject to the tax. M&S said: we overpaid therefore we should get it back. HMC&E said: you overpaid but you cannot give it back to the people who actually paid it. In the first move of its kind, Customs invoked laws on unjust enrichment which prevents the government repaying VAT to companies if it means they would benefit unfairly because it is impossible to pass the recouped VAT back to the people who paid the tax originally. It is the first time Customs has successfully argued unjust enrichment. accountancyage.com See? HMC&E is arguing that M&S would need to be able to reimburse the exact amount of VAT to exactly those people who bought the teacakes when they were subject to VAT! Nonsense? Of course! Solution? You might have your own solution but here are just two from me: either HMC&E or M&S pays the money to a charity: since HMC&E probably can't do that for legal reasons, let M&S do it give the money back to M&S and let them TRANSPARENTLY reduce the selling price of the teacakes they sell now until the money runs out Has HMC&E kept ALL the money? No: The court ruled 90% of the VAT should be retained by the government. accountancyage.com How much money is involved? The BBC provides that answer to that: ... it could be worth £12m to M&S ... Including backdated interest ... M&S believes its claim dates back to 1973 ... The retailer claims it paid £3.3m too much VAT on teacakes £1m too much on bottled water £800,000 on gift vouchers and £500,000 on tinned biscuits news.bbc.co.uk Please note, the BBC article is dated October 2001 so any claims for interest on the amounts owed must be updated to allow for that: another £980,000 at 4% per year compound, possibly. Is this the end of the matter? Not necessarily as M&S could take its case to the House of Lords but it is waiting to learn the outcome over the referral of part of the case to the European court. 'We are considering our position,' said a spokesman. accountancyage.com DW

This just came in and I'm really chuffed about it: Hi D I just wanted to thank you for your VERY informative website. I live in a small town on the South East coast of South Africa called East London (yes, I know, rather British sounding but we used to be a part of the British colonies). I am studying Accounting and Financial Management via correspondence and our local library doesn't have much in the way of Economics or Business. Your website has really helped me with my assignments. Don't worry, I have given you credit in my bibliography! I have done really well so far - all A+ or A's. Nice to know, isn't it. I wrote and thanked Natalie for such kind and unsolicited comments. DW

Update from 27 September. Not only did I paint the front and back door steps but I repainted the front door: looks very smart now, even better than when we moved in. I also painted the garage door: colour = stone. At first Mrs W was horrified and as I was around one third of the way through the first coat she was making plans for an alternative colour. All of our neighbours came to marvel: especially our next door neighbour who realised that he would probably have to paint his own adjacent garage door as his will now look extremely shabby ... it does! After the second coat the following day even Mrs W conceded that the garage door looks smart and the colour is fine. Mr Next Door is unhappy but at the time of writing has still managed to avoid having to paint his own door and the first frost has now struck! He could be safe until next year.

Some of my latest efforts: what I have been up to: Dear DW, Thanks for sending me the answers to the questions concerning IAS1. They have been very helpful to me. have a nice day. Daniel Karin from Italy/Austria continues to get the DW help and assistance treatment. Tony from Liverpool is back and asking about auditing and risk: a huge thanks to Chris Lamb of London Metropolitan University for helping me out with this one. My ImageCorp or PhotoInd spreadsheet is still a popularly requested item: still free of charge! My financial accounting case study is selling well: still only costs £5 and it's a real snip at that. The price WILL be going up soon! My answers to the IAS questions on my site are still popular: still free of charge! Ari used to be confused about capital rationing. Beeny couldn't unravel some basic capital budgeting questions until I came along! And so on! DW

The CBI (Confederation of British Industry) announced that it is furious with the UK government over the UK business tax burden. It says that ... the country's main company taxes stands at around 9% of GDP, above the average of its main trading rivals. . Then the CBI goes on to say The report says the UK is not that different from Germany, where business taxes are 10.1 % of gross domestic product. But worse than the US with 7.3%, with only France taking a significantly higher share of national income, at 14.4%. Well, I reckon the average so far is 10.6% so the UK is doing well. That's an example of how NOT to present an argument: sorry CBI, must try harder! In its defence, The Treasury has criticised the report's calculations and accused the lobby group of being contradictory. Treasury 1 CBI 0 DW

I came across this word in an email just now: who can tell me what gyming means? Seriously, I'd like to know what you think as I present it out of context. Just write to me duncan@duncanwil.co.uk by clicking on this link and then adding your definition! DW

If you're a follower of this glorious WeBlog you might be forgiven for thinking that I've not been updating it ... Blogger.Com and my ISP have been conspiring against me and refused to allow my posts for a while. Here we are again, though: all sorted out ... famous last words! DW

If Hameed from Canada reads this: I tried to reply to your request but my messages were returned as undeliverable ... let me know how to reply successfully and I'll do that. DW

I spent a couple of hours preparing my front lawn for the winter: mowing, raking, mowing and will add the dressing on Wednesday or Thursday. Let me advise you all now that my lawn is the best lawn on our estate and the best that I've seen in our town this summer bar none. The secret has been constant and careful watering and proper feeding and weed control. It's not the best lawn there is since there are about 10 different types of grass in it but it looks a lot better than most and vastly better than some! I close cropped the back lawn too but didn't have the strength to rake and double mow it! By the way the second raking, to get rid of the thatch, produces a shocking amount of materials that would otherwise lie there undiscovered and anyone who is serious about their lawn should do what I did: advice comes courtesy of a wise gardener on BBC Radio Oxford that I tuned into accidentally yesterday around midday. DW

I am spending a bit of time in the Birmingham area at the moment and last week actually spent a night there! My business takes me to the Solihull area but I stayed right in the heart of Birmingham: Broad Street to be precise. I followed detailed directions to get from Solihull to Broad Street but got lost and it took me around an hour and a half to drive the 12 or so miles from door to door. I found my own way back the following morning and took only 45 minutes to accomplish what was a really simple journey by a totally different route. I stopped off in Solihull on Friday morning and relived part of my youth at their market: Eccles cakes, custard tarts, lemon curd ... I had to buy them all. I also invested in some nice Cox's Pippins and Bramley apples, marvellous. Broad Street is a cultural centre: bars, cafes restaurants and hotels abound. I had a decent Indian meal for around £20 in the evening: not especially good value and not the best meal I ever had but decent decor, good service so it wasn't bad. In the morning I needed to go to an internet cafe since I knew someone needed an email response urgently. Hooked up, logged on to the slowest connection since around 1995 in Almaty! I had been there for about 20 minutes when a cheery chappie from BT rocked up and started larging it into his mobile ... switched us all off! I didn't achieve my objectives in full but at least they didn't charge me either! Good business that! DW

Ever heard of Glist? It's a product that you can use in your dishwasher to get your dishes clean ... unless you speak Russian, in which case you think that glist relates to a worm that crawls out of a certain orifice located in the nether regions of your own fair anatomy! You choose!! You might remember that I returned from Ireland last year via Stranraer in Scotland to make sure I could buy some Scottish bread … I have just pulled the second loaf from the freezer and it’s providing more breakfasts of delight! I think it’s survived pretty well and I’ll miss it now as it filled a tidy corner or our small freezer! That’s the last of the Scottish bread in this household but I did notice that Tesco were stocking the self same source of carbohydrates the other week. Trouble is, or it it good news, I’m the only one who likes it chez moi! You'll be fascinated to learn that I painted our front and back doorsteps yesterday: second coats today. An instant hit as it made such a big difference. If only my digital camera weren't at the repair shop again you could have seen the fruits of my labours. DW

Here's a hot tip: if Mike Tomlinson calls and tells you about a guaranteed way to make huge money by investing in Information Biometrics or any other such nonsense, ask him why his company Dunhill Capital is well known as a gang of criminals. He might be able to blether for 5 or 10 minutes about how your money is safe with him. Keep pressing, however, and he'll hang up on you and probably never bother you again! If you are worried about Dunhill Capital, about which I know little, for whom I have never worked and with whom I have never invested ... I can send you a couple of internet links. Alternatively go to www.google.co.uk and do a search for them and see what you find. Don't send them any money under any circumstances is my advice! DW

I wrote this to a Business/Economics discussion list that I'm a member of: Just in case it's slipped everyone's attention, the Enterprise Act that came into force beginning in April of this year contains new powers that Business Studies and Economics teachers and students need to be aware of. The Enterprise Act "works alongside the Competition Act of 1988 and various pieces of consumer legislation, largely replacing the Fair Trade Act 1973": see the PDF file link below for the source of this quotation. This page highlights the major changes to relate to: Mergers Cartels Direct Disqualification Enforcement of Consumer Law Super complaints Market investigation There are also new insolvency rules that this page chooses not to highlight for some reason; and Accountancy Age reports that at least three companies have already fallen foul of the insolvency rules contained within the Enterprise Act even though they only came into force last week: Ciro Cittero, Sentry Box (graphic designers) and MAL Holdings (Mayflower Group). There are several PDF files relating to the various parts of the Act including this general overview. As you might expect, the DTI also has pages devoted to this Act. There is an email alert service available for this Act ... when I tried to sign up, however, I was given an error message so only time will tell whether I was successful! I hope this is of use to everyone. DW

As English English slides into Americanese at an alarming rate, good news. In a report in the Business Today journal there is a small article entitled Communicating: Business bugged by buzzwords. Here are a couple of snippets: 60% of company directors feel annoyed or irritated when people use jargon or buzzwords in business conversation ... buzzwords annoy female directors more than male directors (65% and 57% respectively). The worst offender was 'let's touch base' ... followed by 'no brainer' ... 'synergy' ... 'outside the box' ... 'let's take this offline' ... 'playing hardball'. The author of the original report says that While buzzwords can create an illusion of understanding for those who use them, they often signal just the opposite to others on the receiving end ... Thankfully, good communicators are not born but made, which is good news for those that usually opt for meaningless phrases to paper over the cracks in their knowledge. DW

For disciplinarians here's a great story. I was reading a potted history of a school in the South of England and came across the fact that the headmaster of this school for part of the 18th century was known as Flogging Tom. Thought you might enjoy that! DW

Another helpful visitor pointed out where some of my 404 File Not Found Errors are coming from. Thank you Emma Dicks. Here's what I said to Emma: Thanks Emma, Not only there but in a couple of the linked pages too. Kind of you to take the time to help me out. Best wishes Some good and helpful people on this earth! DW

For only the second time in 16 years I think it was, I managed to be able to watch the Last Night of the Proms on the television last night: this programme marks the end of the Henry Wood Promenade musical concerts that have been held over the summer at the Royal Albert Hall in London for 109 years or so now. It all felt a bit flat I have to say. They had the old favourites in there with our rousing, rattling sing along tunes and songs: Land of Hope and Glory, Rule Britannia and so on; but there was something not quite right. I think it was down to what appeared to be a lack of sponteneity in the audience and some poor camera direction. In the old days the audience at the last night always seemed to be manned (or should that be personed?) by lunatics with a love of music. Now I think that the audience comprises some of those lunatics and some people who are joiners in for the experience and they seem to lack that je ne said quoi that the old timers had. Do you remember that tall chap who always managed to get himself in the middle of the front row and who used to conduct the orchestra and chorus along with the real conductor? He never seemed to be a full shilling to me but he added character. Remember when the singer soloist was a friendly chap or chapess who had some rapport and badinage with the audience or who used to do something wacky during his or her performance? There was no soloist during the mass sing along last night. Do you remember when the conductor used to berate the audience in pantomimic style with something like "Henry can't hear you"! when he felt the sing along element could have been improved on? Leonard Slatkin simply applauded last night's audience after their efforts last night: even though there were the usual encores, there was no real pantomime. There is a new element, too, the Proms in the Park. The Proms in the Park are a good idea in that they set up stages in Hyde Park, Swansea, Belfast and Glasgow and thousands of people flock to them to join in with their own programmes and with the main event in the Albert Hall. All good stuff and there were 40,000 in Hyde park and many thousands of people elsewhere. This is a good and interesting initiative but I think it detracts from the main event. Could be that I've reached an age, a sense of detachment and a level of deafness that militates against my enjoyment of this event now. Either I have to become more intimately involved in the whole process by going to the Last Night or I have to buy a CD of the last night of 1987 or something similar. Ah nostalgia: it's not what it used to be! DW

On my main site I have a 404 (Page not found) message that says something like "If you have arrived at this page, it's because ... please let me know where you were trying to ..." A few visitors have very kindly written to me of late with guidance as to where some of my links problems are: all of a sudden I have been getting HUNDREDS of 404 errors and whilst I've found a lot myself, I obviously haven't found them all. Jennifer wrote this week and helped me to solve one problem. Jim wrote today and helped me to solve several problems. I thanked Jennifer personally of course and this is what I wrote to Jim: Thanks for taking the time to reply, Jim. I had a random look at my home page links and found a batch of problematic ones in the statistics part of the site: I’m very grateful to you for helping me to spot them. On the other hand when I create a new page I tend to copy and paste a link from place to place or use a template: hence, it always comes as a shock when there is such a problem! This is why this problem never comes alone: I must have copied and pasted the home page link in the statistics section three or four times without fully checking. Best wishes and keep reading! Thanks for your help, everyone! DW

Frank runs a web site that shows the history of the UK National Lottery. Frank has lots of interesting tables, charts and analyses on his site and I got involved. I suggested a couple of revisions to his Chi Squared analysis and last I heard he was working on my ideas. Let me point out that Frank's site is unofficial and at the end of his home page you will read this disclaimer: These pages are not in any way associated with the Camelot Group plc. The draw results on which the presented information is based has been checked thoroughly but can not be treated as an official source. Analysis methods are subject to my personal interpretation and shared with you for interest only. Past lottery results cannot predict future results and this site is intended to indicate trends only. Because this site is operated by an individual there may be occasions when information has not been updated to include the latest draw. Furthermore, I will not be held accountable for any winnings or loss of winnings or monies spent through the use of the information provided. Sensible disclaimer, Frank! DW

Cabell wrote, too, with an interesting spreadsheeting/statistical question that I am in the middle of exploring. Cabell offered me a solution to a problem and I offered her a revised solution. We're talking! This could become a page, too! DW

Looks like I've made another friend in a far flung place! Jaunita wrote again with another few questions on statistics and definitions. I worked through them line by line and turned my answers into a new page on my web site. Well worth a look! DW

Back to Yorkshire! I drove up on Friday afternoon and took it easy, enjoying the facility of cruise control. It's a breeze to take your foot off the accelerator and be able to stretch one's legs and so forth. Being so tall is a problem for me and I normally get a jippy hip on long drives. So cruise control gets rid of that then. Brother Angus has a Beemer too but he never uses his cruise control as (a) he's an erratic driver I think so (b) he never gets into a position for his speed to settle and (c) he's not that tall. Anyway arrived, had a bite to eat and then off to one of Halifax's finest hostelries wherein libations ensued and blether, swearing and gay badinage were all the rage. Back for a nightcap, more blether and then some fitful sleep as the pay back was that I caught a case of the hiccups at some unearthly hour. Woke up to a slightly thick head for some reason and feeling a bit the worse for wear. Not understandable as we didn't drink that much. Age at the root of it all, perhaps? Went for a walk round Halifax with Neville the brother in law as sister Susan went to the hairdresser's. It lashed it down as we toured the Piece Hall so we had to invest in an umbrella apiece: cost me all of £1.99 for the pleasure! Then it stopped raining and became sunny. Still, one needs about five umbrellas doesn't one? Took a walk round Ogden Water, a couple of miles out of Halifax and that's a nice place as you can see from the photographs I uploaded realier. Time pressures meant we couldn't ramble for very long but I'd liked to have. I recommend a walk there if you're ever in the area: lots of birds, trees, tranquility and the vista is more than acceptable. Tootled off to Hebden Bridge to collect son Daniel and his partner Max. Another hostelry experience ensued but as I was driving I stuck to lemonade whilst they all drank dirty beer and wine! Susan rustled up a more than adequate lasagne for supper and once we had been joined by sister Fiona and hubby Danny we went to yet another hostelry where I enjoyed only a small amount of beer due to the hangover from last night. A good loud blethering session followed as we braved a large bar in the centre of Halifax where at one stage I was afraid of being the "oldest swinger in town" but there were older!! The sight of the night was that of two young ladies squatting in doorways opposite with knickers round their knees as they partook of a micturition session ... all over the place ... in public, in full view of at least a dozen people: have they no shame? Still a good time was had by all and a little bit of red wine helped the land of Nod to beckon readily. Up and about in time to do the Tod Rag's cryptic crossword and finished it all but for one and a half clues: Susan and Neville provided the answers to those. Left Halifax at just after 1 pm and got home three hours later, allowing for a short stop half way back. I have a sneaking suspicion that I might have been caught speeding by one of those wretched cameras that they have on all our roads these days. Only one or two mph in it, mind ... I'm waiting for the postman to announce the verdict in a few days' time. Here endeth the weekend's report. DW

Jaunita wrote, I think from Namibia with this question, that elicited that answer! Could you please give and explain to m the arithmetic formula to work out Mean, Mode and Median. I'm study at the moment but can't understand the formula. Thanks Jaunita Hello Jaunita, The arithmetic formula for each of the mean, the median and the mode are fairly simple and with a bit of practice they will be easy for you. The mean is the same as the arithmetic mean and is what we normally use when we calculate an average figure add together all the numbers you have and divide them by the total number of numbers For example, find the arithmetic mean of 6,9,2,6,3,8,9,2,4,6: 6+9+2+6+3+8+9+2+4+6 ÷ 10 (because there are 10 numbers altogether) = 55 ÷ 10 = 5.5 The mode is the number in a set of numbers that occurs most often: that is, in a set of numbers we might find that some numbers occur more than once and the mode is the one that there are most of. For example, from the list we just saw 6,9,2,6,3,8,9,2,4,6 the frequencies of each number are 2 = 2 3 = 1 4 = 1 6 = 3 8 = 1 9 = 2 Since there are more of number 6 than any other number, the mode is number 6 The median is the middle value in a set, or list, of values. To find the median we need to put the list in order and then find the number in the middle. For example, using the list we have already used, we find: 2 2 3 4 6 6 6 8 9 9 It’s best when there is an odd number of numbers as we can see here when we have 10 numbers and really there is no number in the middle. What we do now is to take the numbers on either side of the middle, add them together and divide them by 2 … easy in this case: (6 + 6)/2 = 6 So the median number is 6. I hope that’s clear Juanita. Try finding the mean, median and mode from these lists, Juanita and confirm the answers I have given below. 6 8 5 4 8 8 3 7 7 6 mean 6.2 median 6.5 mode 8 And again: 9 6 12 9 6 7 6 12 17 20 17 mean 11 median 9 mode 6 Where in the world are you Jaunita? Just interested. DW

Another trip back up to Yorkshire over the weekend. The car behaved itself very well and a good time was had by all even though it got a bit nippy at night. I went to a place called Ogden Water with sister Susan and her husband Neville: here are a couple of snaps thereof. Notice how low the water is: hosepipe bans next year unless I'm much mistaken! There'll be more about that trip before long. DW

Forgot to tell you about Monday morning. Remember my broken sleep from last week? Well, at 5 am on Monday Mrs W's mobile phone rang and it took her yonks to answer the thing. 'twas a friend of hers from Germany who just wanted to say hello on his way to work ... thinking about coming over for a visit!! At least Mrs W was able to set off back to the land of Nod! Unlike yours truly, of course. Cursed or what? DW

Dima started back at school yesterday. A new school as I felt his old school was just too mediocre: poorly led and staffed by lazy teachers. A levels now, four of them: French, Economics, Ancient History and Government& Politics. What a mouthful! Did I tell you that daughter Fran has passed her driving test at the tender age of 18? 17 years ahead of me. Fran has an automatic car now and was fraught when her mother decided to drive it and, having set off in 1st gear, was puzzled when she couldn't find the clutch to change up to 2nd gear!! Complete lack of mechanical empathy or what?! DW

So I've driven the car around town now, I went to Southampton and back and I've been to Oxford and back. I washed it and waxed the thing too: never waxed a car before in my life! I have to say that the seats are very comfortable; the arm rest is a boon; but what I like most of all at this stage is the cruise control feature: I can just set the thing to tootle along the motorways at 70 mph and relax. Given the comfort and the cruise control, this car is a pleasure to drive. Off to Yorkshire for the weekend, after going to the shops with Mrs W! DW

Here's that long awaited picture of my car: If you have eyesight the equivalent of the Hubble Telescope you will see the reflection of a window in the rear window of the car; and if you squint a huge amount you'll see a reflection of me in it. Bonus, bonus! Can't afford to put a full frontal up here can I? After all, someone who didn't quite like my page on Zero Base Budgeting or my review of Legally Blonde could feel the need for road rage vengence! By the way, history repeated itself with this car. When I bought my first ever car, it got a puncture wiithin its first 24 hours ... so did this Beemer: a slow puncture in this case. So for the first time since goodness knows when, I changed the wheel on a car yesterday. Will get it repaired on Monday all being well. I did a bit of idle Blog surfing just now and the third Blog I looked at was called American Culture ... this is the honest truth [isn't that tautology, Ed?] is that it has daily entries but the entries I saw were all blank pages! What conclusion can we draw about American Culture then? Answers on a postcard! DW

Have you seen Mars, then? Never so close for 60,000 years they say. I saw it last night but my binoculars are only 8x40 so I couldn't see any canals, any aliens, or anything other than a slightly brighter spot in the sky than I could see with my naked eyes! That's why I'm not an astronomer: I don't have the kit! Remember the lunar eclipse of 2000 was it? It was cloudy where I was! The rest of the world saw something "brilliant" as far as I can tell. DW

It's been a bad week for sleeping this week. Wednesday morning woke up at 5:20 am for some reason. Thursday, woke up at 5:18 am; again for some unearthly reason. Friday morning I woke up at 7 am: wooohoo! Today, Dima was flicking his bedroom light on and off and then making all sorts of noises around 4:15 to 4:30 am then he went outside, into the garage ... In the meantime Mrs W, who has a nose problem, started sniffing and grunting at the same time as Dima started his peregrinations. I turned my deaf ear uppermost but to no avail: the light got me, the grunting turned into deep vibrations that penetrated my pillow; and curiosity took hold. Dima had gone to see off his friend Moh who is returning to Canada to live and just after he'd gone I got out of bed, drank a coffee, watched some news and now here we are almost ready to go and tax the car. How come no one told me that Dima was off for a pre dawn sojourn? Wonder what sort of petrol the car uses? Fancy not asking that! DW

A week ago they took away my BMW 520i to the scrap yard. Last night I took delivery of a smart looking metallic green BMW 730i ... hold your breath for the photo! Mrs W doesn't like it in the slightest. It's not a new car by any means but it's mine now and once I've taxed it and put some petrol in it, we're off. Mrs W doesn't like it but she has already planned a long trip to see one of her friends whose son brought some things back from Kazakhstan with him for her. C'est la vie! Plus ca change ... DW

Here's something to epitomise the standard of training in the UK's National Health Service. Took young Dima to the GP this evening to discuss his nose problem and his skin problem. We were duly summoned and arrived to find the GP and another chap seated in the surgery. "This is another Doctor (sic). He'll be sitting in." Now, we should have been asked if we minded if the other chap sat in; and even though we wouldn't have refused that's not the point. Still, I didn't make an issue of it. Then, Dima sat himself down in the victim's chair and I looked around for my chair. No one spoke and the Quack started his consultation. I saw a chair but it was piled with notes and books so I didn't feel like moving that lot. I then spotted a pink plastic footstool over the other side of the room so I went and got that, placed it next to the "other Doctor" (sic) and parked me bum! No one spoke, no one said, "Oh, sorry, please feel free to move the books ...". Just ill mannered people getting on with what they think is good for us. DW

Here's an entry from November 2002 On the personal front I'm nursing my back a little bit as I spent the afternoon lugging many kilogrammes of bark chippings from Garden Centre to car to garden and then all over my small garden. The chippings are the mulch for my Chrysanthemums, Roses, Peonies, Fruit Trees, Herbs and so on for the winter. Anyway, it took 750 litres of the chippings to cover the beds I needed to cover: they're heavy!! Let's hope I'm not bed ridden for a week or so and that the flowers, shrubs and trees all appreciate my hard work!! I want to report that bark chippings are a nightmare. Over the last year the birds that frequent my garden have made it their business to fling the chippings all over the place as they look under and around them for food. This means that the chippings that are generally covering a flower bed can appear overnight as covering for the lawn. Over the winter I got so sick of these antics that I left the chippings on part of the lawn for a few weeks only to find on removal that they had successfully killed all of the grass under them. Bleeders! DW

Here's the latest in the DW traffic survey for Abingdon: 26 August 2003. As I was returning the hire car that I'd been using over the weekend, I decided to carry out yet another of my world famous traffic surveys: how many occupants were in the cars driving towards me on the road that I was wlaking down? This survey took place between 0840 and 0848 today. I discounted all commercial traffic, hence what follows relates to private vehicles only: cars, that is; and I included a taxi! 1 car contained three people: 2.5% 3 cars contained two people: 7.5% 36 cars contained one person: 90.0% Another blow for traffic sodden Britain. We are a one occupant nation are we not? DW

The way that second hand car salesmen answer the phone is fascinating. Here's a couple of examples: Ring ring ... Car Salesman 1: Yes Me: Is that XYZ cars? Car Salesman 1: Yes Me: Do you still have that XXX for sale? Car Salesman 1: No At this point I expect a follow up with some attempt to convince me that another car they have is well worth a look instead but I got silence! Ring ring ... Car Salesman 2: Hello Me: I see that you are selling a XXX is it still available? Car Salesman 2: Yes Me: Can I come and see it? Car Salesman 2: Yes Me: Are you open tomorrow [Sunday]? Car Salesman 2: Yes Me: What time would be best? Car Salesman 2: What time would suit you? ... Where do they get their training??? DW

Before during and after all the fuss over the SOBIG virus, I have had countless messages containing it. It started early last week with messages that were typically timed to arrive as America was crawling out of bed and booting up. Then the onslaught changed to a trickle and now they are coming in thick and fast again. They are all predictably infected and my anti virus software is catching them anyway. Was not best pleased by the behviour of SpywareNuker who offered to help me find Spyware and Adware on my computer and then behaved so badly that I wrote and told them they'd never sell their product to me even though they say they have found 284 incidents of Spyware on my system. The printer won't work from the laptop at all now. Need to investigate much further! DW

Dima got his GCSE results and he's done well, with 1 A* 4 A 5 B 1 C Perhaps the highlight in some senses was the B for Maths. His teacher had called us before they entered him for the exams and said there was no way on earth that he could succeed at the higher level exam. I said we are working on it and I want him to do it. I don't expect that teacher will call now to say, "Good lad, Dima. I was wrong!" I was disappointed at the C as it was in Geography as we put in a lot of effort to get the A his teacher had predicted ... where did it all go wrong? As a non native speaker of English, let all native speakers be aware that Dima achieved 3 A grades for English! DW

The car's gone. On Friday last at around midday I arrived home after a walk into town to find my car in the middle of the street waiting to be plonked onto a car transporter as it headed for the knacker's yard. It has served me well and the only thing it has ever really let me down on was the battery. As I was a way a lot for much of the time that I owned that car, it was standing idle; and the batteries I bought never liked that. We even used to turn the engine over every week or so but that just wasn't good enough. I was forced to write off the car and was paid what the insurance company thought it's worth. I will NOT, in any way, be able to replace a BMW 520i SE Auto for the amount of money they paid. Come on down our modern insurance companies! DW

More from my time back in Bosnia. As you probably know, I am a vegetarian (lacto ovo to be precise) and at the dinner that we had in the middle of the course I ran in Bosnia I was served, wait for it, MUSHY PEAS! I was so stunned I learned that the Bosnian for mushy peas is graashak: not the correct spelling but that's the phonetics of it all! I even found a tin of graashak in a shop later on, too; and we would tend to call them marrowfat peas. Still, eh? How about this for a poser? I noticed that a number of the cars in the streets of Neum have cardboard draped over two or more of their wheels. I asked what the cardboard was there for and Paddy replied "You can use it to carry the wheels home in it when you steal them"! Ask a silly question! Anyway, here's the picture. I did a lot of PowerPoint Presentations during the course and since I don't have a floppy drive on my laptop I needed to be able to transfer files by CD ... my translator/interpreter had an old laptop that had a floppy drive but no CD drive: that is until I happened to open the "wrong" compartment of its carrying case and found a CD drive for that very computer. Turns out that they had been looking for that drive for 9 months and had even turned the office upside down looking for it at one stage. The reason they didn't find it in the carrying case? The chap who was using the thing assured everyone that it wasn't there! Here are a couple of other views of Neum, by the way, as I think it's a lovely looking spot! Enough! DW

Take a look at my Cost and Management Accounting Home Page. See? Good isn't it? The menu's different, you clot ... isn't it obvious?! I've found out how to put together a drop down menu and experimented with that page. It works quite well although my colour communications could do with a bit of a tweak, don't you think? All advice gratefully received! I intend to do this to all my section home pages before too long. More progress! DW

Update on the manky computer situation: I RESTOREd my laptop and got back on a decent footing with Outlook. Then the printer still gave me loads of grief: just can't understand this one; but then three reboots later all was OK and this morning computer and printer found each other without a hitch! What a life! DW

Just found out that my address book has completely disappeared from MS Outlook. I'd like to thank Borland for giving me the option to mess up my version of Outlook, I'd like to thank Microsoft for being such a monopolist and for failing to provide a decent working environment and I'd like to thank BT for being complicit in their own monopolistic desires. DW

This came in yesterday Dear Sirs, We are plaesed to inform you that we have created the very first italian web site dedicated to IAS. You can visit it at the following url: http://www.iasitalia.it Our goal is to promote the IAS culture and become a focal reference point in Italy for the e-ias community, sending out a free newsletter in italian about the latest IAS events. That's why we would love to directly collaborate with you and exchange news and links in our websites. We hope that you'll agree with our initiative. We send you our best whishes. the staff of iasitalia.it email: redazione@iasitalia.it So I took a look and there's some news about Switzerland, Ireland, Europe, the UK ... here's what it said about the UK: La Gran Bretagna estende l'utilizzo degli IFRS Dal gennaio 2005 tutte le imprese, quotate e non, del Regno Unito potranno applicare gli IFRS sia ai bilanci consolidati che a quelli individuali I clicked on the link anyway and was told La pagina richiesta è riservata ai visitatori registrati. With me so far? Don't worry Registrati ora: è gratis! If anyone goes there and finds the English language button, let me know! Otherwise, I genuinely wish them well as 2005 looms large and I know that the majority of British accountants aren't ready for it ... maybe don't even know that they really need to be ready for start up in 2004 so that they can begin reporting in 2005. DW

In the middle of my network problems, MS Outlook has decided that I don't need to reply to my email messages now. Come to that, why would I want to send new messages, too? Save yourself all the bother and don't send anything. Kuh! Why didn't I think of that before? Oi, why don't we disable receiving messages for a while, too? OK, go on then! That's the current position I'm in. Last week I INNOCENTLY took a peep at something called 3DAtlas (from Borland I think) and as I click, clicked it asked if I wanted to install Outlook ... since it's already installed I said no, of course. Wrong answer. So the installation of Outlook started apace in spite of what I said. I thought I'd ride this out until I could cancel the process and was duly given my opportunity. However, it reset my Folders settings so that messages were coming into the wrong group of folders and in order to reply to messages I had to move them physically. Until Monday, yesterday, when they saved me all the bother by preventing me from being able to reply to anything wherever it is. Along the way, I talked to a couple of people, on the phone at my own expense and may have found that BT (oh glorious BT) is in on this. BT provides my broadband service and I learned that it is they who have blocked the Tesco.Net account that I have not been able to send from my desktop for MONTHS; and I had been flagellating myself for having set something the wrong way, too. So, has 3DAtlas and MS together conspired to reconfigure my laptop such that BT has got involved and will now mean that I can only receive messages and not send anything and have to go right to my ISP web mail server to communicate with the world? That's a step back around 10 years I think! Of course, if you sign up for the half dozen or so email providers that BT supports, you're fine! This computer business is tiring don't you think? By the way, Windows XP, Office XP, firewall and fully up to date anti virus software (don't worry, it's not Norton) should mean that I am in the elite band of trouble free chappies but I'm not, as you can see. DW

I knew it was coming but I just didn't know it was going to be so awful: I've been Gatesed again. That's Bill Gates: I think that the only reason that Microsoft survives is because it has managed to secure a massive monopoly position. I don't use Linux or any other operating system apart from Windows but I know that I would like to. After more than 20 years of causing major frustrations, MS is seriously getting on my nerves. Here are two reasons why I say this: I have a digital camera and no surprise that I store the images on my laptop rather than the camera itself. When I connect the camera these days, it used to be perfect, Explorer opens and I can navigate easily to the relevant sub folder where the latest images are ... then when I click on an image to preview it, whoosh, Explorer flips over to the Control Panel. It's predictable so I'm not surprised any more. Then I go back to the pictures sub folder and everything's fine. This is a new diversion after 8 months without such a problem. I have a two computer network at home, this laptop and the family desktop. I am not an expert at networking and when I set it up it caused me heartache even though both computers are running Windows XP. Then it finally settled down and we share a printer and can transfer files easily, we share the internet connection ... all good stuff. However, I knew that when I came home from my recent trip that there would be trouble. I was shocked, therefore, on Sunday to find that having connected the network again I could print, share files and share the internet connection without a hitch. Until Monday, that is, when Gates' outfit decided that my network printer should no longer be found or findable: I changed nothing from Sunday to Monday. Then the desktop disappeared from the network, then the desktop came back but the laptop disappeared, then we were all happy again. Oh, now the printer's gone again. So, I connected the printer to my laptop as I really needed to print something ... it's a USB connection so that must be easy peasy. Wrong! The laptop wouldn't find the printer even though it was connected directly to it. I had to reboot twice for it to find the thing. I wasted three and a half hours on this network problem yesterday and have often thought that if we could all get back at MS for the time they waste they would be bankrupt within 6 months. End of this rant. DW

Long, long time no see ... been away in a marvellous little haven called Neum: take a look at the atlas to see where that is. OK, there's a bit of a clue early on but get the atlas out anyway it'll do you good! The Trip Home 16 August 2003 I was late leaving the hotel as I was saying goodbye to the boss! Then there was a bit of faffography as the driver lugged my suitcases up the stairs, we delivered a letter to another hotel and so on. The road from Neum to Dubrovnik Airport is long and winding and a just as we thought we had broken the back of the journey and estimated an arrival time of 2:20 pm, we got stuck in a queue behind a slowly moving lorry … we lost around 10 minutes and gained loads of stress as my flight was due to leave at 3:15 and I didn’t want to get there just to be told that they had closed it!. There are some shear drops on the passenger side of the road to Dubrovnik and I was horrified at some of them. As we passed above Dubrovnik itself I had an attack of vertigo as two large multi storey blocks of flats sent me into a tizz! Then there was the lunatic father with his two sons standing on the wrong side of a roadside barrier, on a ledge, overlooking a hideous drop. We arrived at the airport at around 2:30 pm and since it’s such a small airport we got inside fairly quickly. We couldn’t find the check in desk for Vienna, though, so I asked and was directed upstairs. Suitcases flailing, we dashed upstairs to find Customs, Passport Control, Duty Free Shops … Departures! Back downstairs and I said “I’ll ask at the information desk and you ask elsewhere …” As I arrived at the Information Desk a young lady just beat me to it and asked a question that seemed simple but took HOURS to answer. Well, two minutes anyway. Then my driver found the check in desk: just where the lady was whom I’d asked for directions but four minutes before. Now they had a Vienna sign up there. I wasn’t tempted by anything in Duty Free and we took off 15 – 20 minutes late and thought that making my connection would be difficult. As we were descending into Vienna they announced that people heading for Paris should run and for passengers to somewhere else, “Sheesh, you’ll be lucky!” As we were leaving the plane they said anyone for London should contact the people outside the aircraft. I was directed to a minibus where it transpired that I was the only person going to London immediately. I was given 5 star treatment as I was whisked across the airport and escorted via the service lift right to my check in desk. 5 star turned to 1 star when they very politely told me that since my flight was late they had assumed that I wouldn’t make it and so they bumped me off the flight, “You were too quick for us” they said. They held out a glimmer of hope as they had three no shows and expected that one of them would definitely not show. Otherwise, I would have to wait for the 7 pm BA flight. A five minute wait and then suddenly I was whisked away again and was the last passenger to board the London bound A321 Airbus that really was heaving with people: following the flight on the Tiny Tyrolean Twin Turboprop, this was a huge plane! As I got to my seat I found it occupied by a young lady who turned out to be American. Just as she launched into a dramatic fond farewell speech to the friend by her side, I said “Where’s your seat, I’ll sit there?” “32D” says she. As I toddled off she and her friend mouthed it large in now unmistableable cross Atlantic drawl, “Aw, that’s real kind of y’all” or similar. I felt it wasn’t appropriate to given them a syntax or grammar lesson as: • I needed to sit down • the Yanks have just paid my salary for the last two weeks, housed and fed me so praise be As the pilot had announced a small delay (I HOPE to get my bags on board) they played Austrian Airline’s signature tune … a bit too enthusiastically. Spookily, as I’d observed to myself in Dubrovnik airport that I hadn’t seen a man with a pony tail for two weeks, an elderly man with a PIG TAIL stood up and ponced his way to tell the stewardesses that it was all too loud. They turned down the volume! Well done Austrian as despite having flung me off the flight once and having significantly shanged my seat, they still brought me my veggie meal of cheese sandwich and tiny bunch of delicious grapes! The truth is that I covet the non veggie puddings that everyone else gets but would have to eat meat to get at them! Can you believe that a young lad, six or seven years old, walked past me wearing a Newscastle United shirt? He was lucky to survive! His hair was cut in a steppy way, too! Now that I was back among my own, let me record that we are a stricken breed: pig tail man Newcastle United shirt spindly legged woman of advanced years with black ankle socks, shorts, leather shoes (needing polishing) a tee shirt of yore … and wrinkles under her knees floral print dress woman wearing flip flops earring man with silver trainers: I ask you! Austrian put the television on without any sound. That was fine for “Just for Laughs” which was visual comedy but the interview with the mega surfer was lost on everyone but the lip readers among us! Then there was the couple in the queue at Vienna: she berated him for wandering off and leaving her alone for 20 minutes. He took the abuse for a while but then retorted with “I don’t know why you’re talking as if you’re the victim because when I did get back to finish me chips, they’d all gone”! Silence was the reply! Pig tail’s party at the carousel at Heathrow: one says to the other, “Don’t panic if your bags don’t arrive now, it doesn’t mean that you’ve lost them. They’ll be on the next flight. So don’t think they’re lost. No, they’ll not be lost. They send them on the next flight. That could be tonight.” I had my back to that lot when that happened so I’ve no idea why this chap repeated his message and I never heard anyone else speaking or replying … except that I turned round to see pig tail pick his nose and eat the proceeds! I sat next to two Korean girls on the London flight and they spoke to each other in English. One spoke English public school English and the other one spoke like an American. English English said “I love being back in England. (pause) You don’t have to pay to use the toilet”! Where has she been? Tried to get a drink from a vending machine at the Central Bus Stop at Heathrow having retrieved my luggage with no bother, only to find that they wanted £1 per small bottle. Anyway, both machines were empty so I went to WH Smith’s … where a bottle cost me £1.09. Modern, hideously expensive, rip off Britain, welcome home! Then my mobile phone was cut off! Home James on the X70 to Oxford to be met by my kind Italian neighbour who gave me a lift to my door! Here endeth my trip home! DW

This is priceless and true and I got it from the News Quiz programme on BBC Radio 4 last night. An amendment slip relating to a Sexual Offences Bill being tabled before the House of Lords contained this: Page 32 paragraph 3 line 3 extract genitals inset penis I wonder if anyone even thought what they were doing when they wrote that? DW

It has been very hot here over the last week or so, prompting the newspapers to declare Britain the 'new Mediterranean'. It all came crashing down over night and this morning I woke to deliciously cool temperatures and lashing rain. The good news is that the garden gets watered free of charge and effort ... and so does my Italian neighbour's garden that I am tending during his three week sojourn in and around Bologna! DW

Mrs W finally got me into Homebase to buy some garden furniture but on Sunday we had decided to buy X only to find that the desk we needed to use to get the stuff delivered was not manned ... we waited 10 minutes and as no one appeared and I said let's come back tomorrow. Tomorrow arrived and we made our final choices and went to that desk again ... no one! We went to the information desk now and I asked, rhetorically, if there should be someone at the special order desk. Young whippersnapper replied that there was 'no one there'. I didn't like his tone, especially since I was in a shop (aaaaagh!) and barked back, 'How will I place an order then?' A very tall, pale and ginger haired young chappie was pointed at and I was entreated to bide my time and wait for him. Ginger nut did the business quite well I'd say and even offered to let me keep my money off vouchers so that I could use them again but it was more than his job was worth to do that! (I did ask and he did say he'd like to help!) During the admin procedures, though, he was faced with a problem that he couldn't process my money off vouchers immediately becasue only one person at a time in the entire shop can do that so I had to wait for 5 minutes as the other person doing that logged off that part of the system. Homebase, rethink that part of your strategy. On the way out as we paid for the plant food that Mrs W said we NEEDED, the young whippersnapper who had answered my rhetorical question so badly was the cashier who was serving us and he redeemed himself by asking 'Did you get everything you wanted?' I took him off the hit list!! We now await Friday and the delivery of our furniture. I'll report back. DW

Today's massive piece of advice: don't mess with your computer's registry. It's a good job I've got a capacity for staring at a computer screen ad infinitum! On Monday I decided, with Dima away, that it was time to sort out the computer and strip out all of the stuff we didn't need. I'd already offloaded 4 Giga bytes of rubbish from the hard disk over the weekend and decided to tidy up the registry. I used some trial software to analyse the registry and it told me there was a huge amount wrong but wouldn't do anything about it until I bought the software. So, I trolled over to Microsoft and found RegMaid. I ran RegMaid, free of charge, and it showed me what I thought were my problems so I deleted the whole lot. WRONG! What RegMaid had done was to show me the whole registry and not just the problems. I was then, apparently, to take the decision as to what was problematic and what wasn't. Now rebooting was a problem. I had to reactivate my Windows XP software and then reinstall all software. I called the Microsoft help desk as I had a particular problem with Outlook and whilst the chap tried, I had called at around 5:30 pm and the problem I had was a toughie for him so come six pm he told me to run detect and repair and he would call back tomorrow ... six pm is his finishing time and he clearly wasn't up to working even one second of overtime. I did what they said but if failed so I worked through the problem myself and solved it ... with a residual error that I solved later, again alone. The MS chap did call back whilst I was at work and away from the computer so we couldn't solve my remaining Outlook problem: I can't send any messages from it! DW

Oh, nearly forgot. Yesterday, Saturday, was another driving special: Abingdon Wembley Abingdon in the morning to take my laptop to be repaired. I went to www.rac.co.uk and got them to provide me with directions to my destination ... for the first time ever they let me down and sent me down a route that turned out to be daft! Two and a half hours that was mainly plain sailing but was too circuitous but I had accepted their directions without question. For the return journey I consulted my road atlas and found my own extremely direct route that took us just one and a half hours. Just goes to show, what? Dima was able to sleep for the last half hour or so! Then to get Dima and his companion Florance to France Abingdon Heathrow Airport Abingdon in the evening. I've done this journey many times now and usually go through Henley on Thames but be advised that last week they had the Regatta that caused some snarl ups and yesterday they were in the middle of another extravaganza and that caused a major snarl: that was me snarling, by the way. So, an hour and 20 minutes to get there and 50 minutes to get home, via the M40 this time as we gave Henley a large swerve for the return journey. Mrs W was able to sleep on the return journey this time! DW

It's gloriously hot here now. We took a detour from our weekly shop this morning to go to Homebase as Mrs W feels that we NEED a barbecue and a garden furniture set. We haggled over the furniture as she wants something vast whereas our patio is ten quid short of vast! I am absolutely indifferent to the barbecue since I'm a vegetarian, too. In the end, we agreed on a course of action but then Homebase played a blinder by failing to have their special order desk manned. So, they may well have lost our order. Sunday afternoon in the middle of summer and they are unable to organise their staff. Shareholders and management take note. They won't, of course. This message will have no impact whatsoever! DW