22.6.10

Snooty Cow ...

... and she's probably from Cheshire.

That's the woman next to me on the plane who wanted me to lean away from her, "Just while I eat my dinner". When I got back from the toilet she'd changed places so her daughter was next to me. And the daughter twitched when I moved too!

DW
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

21.6.10

World Cup Tripe II

England

DW

If not true, funny anyway!

These are just a few of the supposedly genuine questions and answers received/given by an Australian Tourism Website. Cracked me up!

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is
... Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.   All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

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DW