Jet Setting Bores ... the aerobore

Anyone who knows me knows that I cannot abide those people who spend their lives talking about their latest flight, that stewardess whom they put in her place or their latest upgrade. These people are aerobores.

I have to admit from time to time the odd aeroplane or airport story can be entertaining. I am concerned, really concerned, with those people who think that after 5, 10 or even 30 or more minutes of retelling (they are CERTAIN to have told them many times already) tedious stories it is time for their piece de resistance ... their Humberside Airport Story.

Honestly, there has been such a Humberside Airport Story in my life and I am pleased to say I walked away from it. I could not afford to waste the time in listening to such rubbish.

This morning I was sitting in front of someone, a scale 8 aerobore, who was trying to impress and outdo the person he was sitting next to with his MOSCOW story. When I got to look at him: obese, not so smartly dressed ...

Then when we arrived at Manchester we were deposited on the apron and not at a stand. Of course, that usually means being carried to the terminal by bus. Now, for some reason there was a loud mouthed boorish oaf who felt he ought to vent bile on the lady who met us and was organising our carriage to the terminal. There were two buses there and when the first one was full, our organiser told our driver to close the doors and drive on. This oaf then said something like, well done madam, can't you see that when a bus is full, there is no room for anyone else ... erm, yes, she had already closed the door and was preparing the second bus.

This buffoon was then behind me in the passport control queue and he said, this is the worst airport I have ever been to. I wanted to say to him, well, if that's true, you haven't travelled very far have you? But that would have involved a negation of my own anti aerobore rule. Why did he say this, do you think? The reason is that there was a slightly longer queue than normal and that was because just before our plane arrived, a Qatar airways 777 had arrived ...

I should ban my own aerobore stories now shouldn't I really?

DW

A Prediction

I have made a few predictions this year, including one or two about Barack Obama, that have been proven prophetic. Well, here's another one.

There will be a Stephen Fry cook book on your coffee table and book shelf before too long.

Fry, that tall omnipresent, gay, comedic person, has recently lost around 6 stone in weight and as he is the darling of lahlahland, there is doubtless a queue of cook book publishers baying outside his door as I type this. This is a repeat of the situation in which Nigel Lawson (the formerly fat but still fumbling former Chancellor of the Exchequer and father of that inanely grinning cook Nigella Lawson) found himself.

Lawson was very fat, lost a lot of weight such that Rhinoceros wrote letters to him asking him for advice on beauty treatments for a Rhino!!! Then someone thought he might have something to contribute to the health and girth of the nation and he published a book on how to stop being so fat. Can't wait for the sequel, how to stop being such a fumbler.

Could be worse, could be a book by Nigel Slater on how to make yourself appear to be sincere.

DW

Talk about biased reporting

The news this morning on BBC World News included an item on the 2016 Summer Olympic Games. The bidding cities are girding their loins as bids have to be in very soon.

Then sent Roland Buerk (son of BBC reporter Michael) out to Tokyo to cover the event since Tokyo is bidding for the 2016 games. Buerk said this:

... only 56% of people living in Tokyo want the 2016 Olympics ...

Erm, ONLY 56% Mr Buerk? 56% is the majority of people who want the games to go to Tokyo.

DW

Is this an "Only in Britain"

So the Attorney General reported herself for a breach of the law. She admitted to employing an alien cleaner and was duly fined £5,000 for her pains.

The low life politicians then round on the woman and say she herself has to resign because she's no good now.

But then, here's the only in Britain part: the alleged illegal immigrant cleaner signs up with that Max Clifford, a PR wallah. Now,lo and behold the cleaner is not only not deported nem con but will probably end up considerably wealthier than all of us and a British resident/citizen.

Makes me want to emigrate again.

DW

Making the unmissable news unmissable

If you live in or have been to the UK recently you may have seen the advertisement on BBC television for the BBC iPlayer. The strap line for the iPlayer is that it makes the unmissable unmissable: missed something and you can often watch it at your whim an pleasure when you want via the iPlayer via the internet.

Well BBC World News has gone one better: if you have missed a news item, don't worry, it will be repeated every 15 minutes or even less. Even if you are a day or sometimes two days late, don't worry because the chances are it will still be running.

DW