Not normally political

I’m not normally political in this blog but those French do gooders who are now in jail in Chad after attempting to kidnap loads of children from Chad deserve all they get.

 

I find looking at a man with a pony tail a bit of a trial so when I saw one of those do gooders with a sculpted beard and a pony tail I thought, just what do they think they are doing roaming the world looking like that and thinking that they have the right to take others’ children because they think they are better than the children’s parents and family?

 

The story seems to be that the children were being “rescued” from potential misery and death in Darfur in the Sudan. We were also led to believe that the children were orphans. It turns out that very few of the children are orphans and their parents say they were duped into letting their children go.

 

Can you imagine what you would feel like if someone took it into their silly little pony tailed head (on women pony tails can look very attractive!) that they knew best and took your child or children for a life with them in another country to which you will probably never have access ... ? Ask the McCanns and other deprived parents what that feels like.

 

Now there are even more do gooders who are bleating that these people should serve their sentences in France and that some of the sentences were too harsh. Send them to France and they could well be released early. President Sarkozy has already interfered in two such cases since he became President and no doubt these people are waiting for him to hop off to Chad too.

 

Let them rot in Chad, I say and let them think carefully before they do something as stupid again.

 

DW

Further car issue

So, after having slashed two tyres and then waiting for me to buy a new battery, the bleeders have stolen my car. I got back home last night from my first visit to Turf Moor in years and left the car in its usual spot outside the house. When I got up this morning I saw a space where the car should have been.

 

The Plods are on the case and I’m waiting for action from the insurance company now.

 

What do I think of these people? Can’t say in polite society.

 

DW

Drinking top tip

This is not original but it might be a timely reminder for many but possibly too late for others.

 

If you want to open a bottle of wine, make sure you have a corkscrew available.

 

The lovely bottle of wine Dima brought to the Xmas dinner table will be opened today, Boxing Day. Andrew had brought some wine and Guinness so he saved the day as no corkscrew was needed for either of them!

 

DW

Just Rubbish

Have you ever read something that you think have an understanding of only to find yourself thinking that this is just rubbish? Welcome to an article by Robert Scapens of Manchester University.

 

The article is entitled Understanding management accounting practices: a personal journey and it was published by the British Accounting Review in 2006.Scapens went on to be awarded a life time achievement award by the British Accounting Association.

 

Scapens has been around for a long time and in an article around 20 years or so ago I put in a bit about him and his ideas but got no response.

 

The bottom line is that the work that Scapens does falls under the heading of management accounting but  I have yet to find any understanding of the subject in anything he has written. He blows the gaff on himself in his own article when he admits that he arrived at Manchester University many years ago as an accountant with no knowledge or understanding of business and management accounting. I think nothing has changed.

 

That article was utter drivel and as it was presented as some kind of key note address I am thankful that I wasn’t in the audience.

 

Sorry to be so personal but I wasted an hour or so reading the wretched article!

 

DW

A trip to Manchester city centre

A trip to Manchester city centre: my first since around 1992 ... not 25 - 30 years as I said before.

Here are a few images of what I saw in Manchester yesterday.

	Want to make some money at a German style Christmas Market? Grill a shed load of sausages then
	Here is that Santa Claus on the Town Hall ... 150,000 light bulbs I think there are!
	The London Eye? Nope, the Manky Eye! Forgive the pun ... unless you are a Manchester United supporter, of course!
	Here’s a photo of the statue of Oliver Heywood: philanthropist and that, born in Manchester

There are two other key ways to make money at such markets:

Sell beer and mulled wine (this attracts the most customers)

Sell cakes (eg stollen) (this is the third most lucrative venture)

DW

Swamp the country with them

When I lived and worked in Malawi in the late 1980s and early 1990s, I realised that a good strategy would be to help out the country by doing things like swamping it with Lego sets and Meccano sets and so on. I suggested that because I was finding that even some of my smartest students have visual and spatial awareness problems. I concluded that if they had been encouraged to think in the abstract from an early age, it would help.

 

The idea is a big one: swamp the entire country with these resources. Firstly, that would mean that they would have no resale value. I was well aware that the recipients of aid sometimes sold what they were given either because they needed the money for something else or they didn’t want what was being given to them. So, by swamping the market, the resale value would be very low. Secondly, I didn’t think that any one group should be privileged when another one wasn’t, so no favouritism or attempts at setting up a hierarchy of needs.

 

That never happened, of course, because the aid agencies weren’t smart enough to think like that.

 

On another topic but still in Malawi, I also once suggested to a chap from the Food and Agricultural Organisation of the United Nations that they set up a training scheme whereby they train local people to use ploughs to help them with their maize and other plots. Immediately, this goon came back with the problem of financing and maintaining the Oxen they would need. I have to say I couldn’t make him see that they didn’t need Oxen to drive the simple plough that I was talking about and that Piers the Ploughman had used in Medieval England! I walked away from him in the end as I couldn’t stand to think that this oaf was responsible for so much misery with his ridiculous ideas. It’s still the case that the FAO gives away mountains of food aid when what people need as much as anything is the wherewithal to feed themselves. Of course, I realise that there are problems with teaching a man to fish ...

 

Now, what got me on to all of this? Well, I talked about this sort of thing to one of my neighbours the other week and today he brought me an article from The Halifax Evening Courier of 5^th December 2007 in which it says that Bart Spicer of Sowerby Bridge is trying to convince all 17,500 primary schools in the UK will buy and use a product from Holland called Brickadoo ... which is a building toy comprising bricks and so on similar to Lego but with significant differences ...

 

Yet again, you heard it here first! Well Done Bart, of course.

 

DW

 

Soupy top tip

When eating soup and using a laptop computer, don’t spill the soup onto the keyboard.

Please note, this hasn’t happened to me: Suzy inspired this top tip. Suzy revealed this top tip during a posting in the discussion on a Word forum.

Thanks Suzy!

DW

Revision of top tip

When I published my previous top tip relating to refraining from driving or riding over broken glass, what I didn’t realise was that my flat tyre on Saturday morning was linked to the flat tyre on Monday morning. Some really clever low life put a knife through them ... and my neighbour’s tyre.

 

Oh these so smart people. Cost me £160 that and I can only hope it stops.

 

DW

Named after

Those clowns at the BBC have now had Peter Snow use some AmerEnglish in the answer to a question in BBC Radio 4’s Brain of Britain programme: something was “... named for Mr X ...” In proper English that means that something was named AFTER Mr X. I’m surprised that Snow actually read it out too.

DW

Top Tip

Here’s yet another top tip for you.

Don’t drive any one of the wheels of your car (or bike or even aeroplane) over broken glass.

Still, repairing the puncture got me out of the house at least.

DW

Congratulations!

Dear Mike,

 

I am a convert. I have to confess that when you first appeared I thought, hmm, another American making money out of the misery of others. Nothing to say but platitudes and setting yourself against George W because he’s an easy target.

 

Having just watched Sicko I wanted to write to you to say that I was wrong. I was amused and amazed by Sicko, you brought tears to my eyes at times as you took those unfortunate 9/11 heroes to Cuba. I was stunned at how even in the US people are effectively being denied some of their human rights.

 

I have to say I wasn’t surprised at how senators and congressmen and a president had been bought by the pharmaceutical industry: I am surprised at nothing these people do any more; but good for you for having the gall to tell us what has really happened.

 

I am a Brit and I was proud of the way you portrayed the NHS. There are problems with the NHS of course but they pale into insignificance when set against what is happening in the US.

 

This letter is going on my blog and I will be watching what you do from now on. I am saddened by the realisation that I have missed so much of what you have had to say. The good news is, though, that I can catch up now.

 

Best wishes

 

 

 

Duncan Williamson

 

AmerEnglish Logo

I've developed an AmerEnglish Logo: it's all my own work and whilst I have put a copyright sign on them, you are free to use the logos providing you don't alter the diagrams or the copyright statement in any way. The logo is a stylised representation of a baseball cap in case it isn't obvious!

Shhhhhh ...

It’s happening more and more, that shibboleth issue.

 

I wrote a few days ago about how BBC reporters and news readers are now pronouncing the letter ‘s’ in the style of someone from certain parts of the USA. For example, I pointed out that we can hear street rather than street. Here’s a new one:

 

Mark Mardell, that unkempt and rather rotund BBC Europe correspondent had now gnarled the letter ‘s’ in the other way that Americans use: he said expertise in a recent report but he pronounced it as experteece. When he comes out with massooce as opposed to masseuse, then I will switch off BBC News for ever.

 

I still ask, who is taking the decision that reporters and news readers should speak like this and when and how are they taking the decision? I want to talk to whoever it is.

 

Still, it could be worse: they could have reportser and readers wearing baseball caps at a raunchy angle couldn’t they/

 

Finally, I am not anti American at all: rather I am anti the AmerEnglish that is becoming more widely used by the BBC and many others in the UK.

 

DW

Capello for England ... for a while

Even I was surprised by the immediate twist that the Capello for England story has taken on DAY ONE. I read in The Times yesterday that the bookmakers have already opened a book on whether the latest England football manager will still be in the job in a year from now.

 

Who are these people? With Steve McClown, we ALL knew that someone who has never achieved anything greater than mid table premiership success and whose personality is clearly far from ideal as a go ahead world beater would fail.

 

Apology

 

I have to make a correction in McClown’s favour too: I simply repeated a headline from a couple of weeks ago that McClown was England’s worst ever manager. That was wrong and I was wrong to repeat it. Kevin Keegan is the worst England manager ever, with a win rate of just 39%. McClown was at least 10% better than that and he didn’t even come in as second worst!

 

DW

The new England Football Manager

I’m sure I read somewhere that following the demise of that oaf Steve McClaren, the English Football Association was going to have a root and branch review and look far and wide for a new manager of the England football team. Well, all of about three weeks later they’ve got their man. Astonishingly fast workers these people at the FA. Why astonishing? Well, since we won the World cup in 1966 we’ve hardly been that blessed with success have we? The found McClown in about three days. Don’t give me semi finals here and quarter finals there because we all know a lot of that level of success has come in the usual England fashion as other teams fell by the wayside and England squeaked through.

 

I don’t know the gentleman replacing Mr McClown but he simply cannot be any worse. After all, it was written that McClown is the worst England manager ever: perhaps the fact that they called him the Coach rather than the manager was the start of his downfall? We need to worry too now that Sven Goran Eriksson is doing so well at Manchester City after such a lousy time as the England Manager (or was he the Coach as well?). Again, someone will point out the number of wins and semi finals and such ... the truth is, the England team cannot play proper football and whatever the results said, we were not happy with the style under Sven any more than the quality under McClown.

 

The England team is filled with players who have no idea of team work: no idea of how to work out ON THE PITCH how to cope with a situation they weren’t expecting. I don’t want to hear people like Gerrard and Lampard telling us that they’d die for their captain John Terry when they patently will not die for their fans. I watch every England game and say the same thing every time: where is the new Alan Ball to hound his team mates? Why can’t we have someone like Roy Keane who gave his all every game, albeit for Scabchester United? Look at Scotland the other week against world champions Italy, they fared very well I thought and I was sorry they lost.

 

I overhead Peter Reid as we boarded a flight to Dubai from Manchester just after the Croatia debacle say that he felt he could play better than half the England team even now. At least they could give it a go, he then said. Everyone within earshot nodded at that. Reid caught our mood exactly.

 

I’ve said it before and let me say it again: a dead Brian Clough and an aged Jack Charlton would be preferable to someone like McClown. Never again, please; and if this new gentleman proves that success with England is still not a possibility then these people at the top of the English FA must do the decent thing and beggar off themselves. I for one would go down to Lancaster Gate and suggest such a thing if they can’t think of it for themselves.

 

DW

I didn't know

You know I’m in Khartoum. I’m staying at a very run down Hilton Hotel: it’s being refurbished now and it clearly hasn’t been redecorated since the 1970s. My room overlooks the Blue Nile and the view is lovely.

 

I’ve been busy and haven’t had time for sight seeing so I decided to make the most of my last evening here and set off for the Mogran ... the confluence of the White and Blue Nile. I walked and thought better of it even though I knew it was near the hotel. I didn’t want to walk into any nonsense but couldn’t see the White Nile although I knew where I was vis a vis the Blue Nile.

 

I back tracked to the taxi I had seen earlier and bold as brass got into the taxi even though I could tell by the driver’s body language that he really didn’t want to take me. We set off. He laughed when I tried to put on the seat belt and failed. It jammed half way out so I told him to be careful and he laughed again as if he understood! His driving skills were, erm, limited. We went to a very busy intersection and he asserted himself. Still, we survived and apart from being overtaken by the most appalling looking taxi apart from the one I was in, the very short journey was then uneventful. We got to Al Mogran Family Park and the driver accompanied me to the ticket office (that is NOT the box office). It cost me two Sudanese Pounds to get in and I asked the ticket seller to ask the taxi driver to wait but again I sensed something akin to reluctance. I’m afraid I ignored the driver's plea and strode on. Well, I might have been wrong and he laughed again once I got back and tried to put the seat belt on again.

 

Just as I got right to the end of the park I was despairing of ever seeing the White Nile let alone the confluence. All of a sudden, there it was. The sight that the vast majority of people on this planet have never seen: where the two Nile rivers meet. I started taking snaps. Bill Gates came in for some stick as my camera (Windows operating system I’m afraid) hung twice. Anyway, I took around 10 – 15 pictures and was happy.

 

Then a policeman came up to me and opined not to take photographs. I apologised and moved on: to leave the park. I had been careful especially not to include any women in my pics. Half way towards the exit I heard someone shouting and thought, that’s for me. I ignored it and walked briskly on but they caught up with me. The Policeman and a colleague. I was told to accompany them. I did. We met up with three more men, all in plain clothes and they exchanged a few words including camera, photographs, video.

 

The two original men left and I was told to follow the new three and they took me into a room and made me sit. I pondered at my plight at this stage. I offered to delete all the pics but was advised to sit down after which I said nothing. Their English was about equal to my Arabic. They took my name and nationality and since I didn’t have my passport with me, couldn’t hand that over. Then they looked at every photo in my phone/camera and after a discussion during which I got the impression that hard cop wanted me in the cells whilst good cop wanted me to go free, they let me go free. They handed back my phone and one said in English that to take photographs there I needed a permit but I was OK this time.

 

I apologised and said I didn’t know. I shook all three hands and left. They hadn’t deleted any of my pics and I was grateful for that.

 

I wonder what they made of the photograph of one of my socks drying out on the top of a lamp shade? You can have a copy if you want

 

DW

Boastful?

Was I too boastful in my post of yesterday when I told you how I solved my flights to Dubai problem at Schipol? Well maybe as there was a pay off: my suitcase didn’t arrive at Khartoum International Airport with me. Given my time of arrival, I have not been able to go and get any replacement clothes, deodorant, shaving tackle ...

 

It pays to keep one’s mouth shut.

 

DW

 

 

World Accountancy Week

Did you know that last week was World Accountancy Week The week was organized as part of the International Federation of Accountant’s 30th anniversary activities: it ran from 2^nd – 8^th December 2007.

 

I don’t know what mega event took place where you are ...

 

DW

Travelling again

I can be like the rest of us: a sheep in the flock of the airlines. Last night, however, was different.

 

I am currently on my way to Khartoum and was starting my trip with British Airways in Amsterdam. I get to airports early when I am in charge of my arrangements and had a fellow traveller with me who is equally keen to start his journeys early: Dr John Waterhouse, a fellow Tyke. John’s flight to Gatwick was scheduled for 1850, mine to Heathrow at 1915. John’s flight took off on schedule. I then went to go to my gate to find the flight had been set back to 2015 ... strong winds over the UK. I harrumphed, of course; but that wasn’t serious as there was some slack in my itinerary.

 

I ate a slice of pizza and had a coffee.

 

I then saw that my flight had been set back even further, to 2100. That was far too tight for my comfort so I took a decision, having found that KLM was flying to Dubai, the second leg on my four leg journey, to try to be transferred to the KLM flight.

 

I went to the KLM transfer desk to establish the principle of what I wanted to do. I was advised that I would need to buy a new ticket. Yeah, right, I thought! I went for a LONG walk as I went back through passport control and back to the BA check in desk, the only place where I could find any BA staff. The young ladies there were enjoying a slack Friday evening as I arrived and they initially tried to convince me that I should wait to see what happens. I set out a nightmare scenario of the flight being delayed yet again, by as little as just 20 minutes ... and at that point they called someone which led me to being sent 30 metres across the hall to see a man about ticketing. I was expected. I got some griff about not travelling tonight, we will rebook you for travel tomorrow ... I said I’ve got connections to make and he made the valid point that as far as BA was concerned, my journey ended in Dubai. I then said, not for me it doesn’t. I then told my man that KLM has a flight going to Dubai at 2050 and he immediately said, let’s see if we can get you on that then. And he did! And here I am, sat sitting here in Dubai all checked in and waiting in transit to go to Doha for my final flight to Khartoum. Where, of course, Corporal Jones of Dad’s Army fame spent part of Sudanese Campaign in the late 19^th century!!

 

DW

Clever?

Saw this in an advertisement for a tee shirt for an accountant:

 

It’s Accrual World

 

Clever that!

 

DW