In flight snaps

The usual snaps!

DW

Buriramtastic: the video

Here is one of the videos I made of the Buriram v TOT CAT match the other day. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=up2TahzeqdQ&feature=youtu.be DW

Buriramtastic

I think the level of football is about English league 1 but the atmosphere was equal to the premiership. Organised singing that goes on for beyond 90 minutes.  We left at full time but the choir stayed and carried on singing.

Three decent goals but the opposition was very weak. Two goals were lobs. The second lob almost from the half way line that the keeper had covered.  The ball floated for a long time and as it was about to land in the keeper's arms, the poor lad slipped. 3: 0! The first lob was done really well.

I don't know any of the players but my man of the match turned out to be an Englishman: Jay Simpson. Well done!

Can you spot the ball in photo three?

DW

From Manaus to Buri Ram

Look at this! Find it on a map.

England Unwin

Here i am watching England about to lose to Italy in Manaus.

DW

Doha Airport

Doha Airport has been like a zoo for years. Until now.

After so many trips in which I thought, why do I need this. Moreover, why did we put up with it?

I suppose we were just waiting.

Well, it's definitely better and these few snaps give just a hint of what they have done.

Ginger as I live and Breathe

As I was walking through In Battuta Mall yesterday I saw a cat that looked like a fully grown version of our own Ginger. She saw me taking her photo and immediately came to me to say hello!

Nice!!

DW

Visa ... NO!

I have been swanning around for decades and whilst i have not been everywhere, I have travelled extensively.

I came to Bangkok almost a week ago to get a visa to enable me to go to work in SA.

I did everything and presented it to the agent. The visa agent presented my application to the relevant consulate.

Cut a long story short, they refused me a visa.

No reason. No explanation. No help.

That has never happened to me before. I have had many visas for SA before. Many.

I had three jobs lined up for SA this year ... all evaporated now.

DW

Don't you Just ...

So, your car is ready, parked properly and next to a wall. That wall is about three quarters of a door's width away from the car. You noticed that.

You open the door and make sure you don't hit the wall with it. You make sure the door stops moving in the middle open position.

Don't you just hate it when you do all of that and then crunch, the door decides of its own free will to open fully and as it tries to do that, of course it hits the wall.

Another small chip in the paint work ><

DW

Thailand Coup

I am a guest in Thailand and i am happy to be here.

I have lived in a wide range of countries and although i have lived in a war zone and in unstable countries, i have never lived under curfew before or in a country that is undergoing a coup.

I am happy to say that all i have seen is peaceful people leading peaceful lives even though virtually all power is now in the hands of the military.

I saw the motivation for a coup after months of political paralysis at the hands of people with various motivations.

Thailand relies on tourism to a great extent and i really hope this business does not suffer. Bangkok is the centre of attention and will remain so. The rest of the country should remain calm and relatively free.

Thailand has undergone many military interventions and i hppe no one is killed here and that life can go on as normally as possible.

My long range photo shows soldiers around the MBK Centre, Bangkok.

DW

head in head!

I did this ... using some of the features of Photoshop!

DW

hot dog?

i can across this the other day!

DW

legs alive!

it's Bangkok. it's an hour and a half until curfew time. it's foot massage time!!

DW

Pongo at Three and a Half Months

here she is ...

DW

Bookkeeping Coach Book

These are the links you need from Hodder, the publisher; and amazon, a bookseller, to help you to buy the book!

https://www.hodder.co.uk/books/detail.page?isbn=9781471801587 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Bookkeeping-Accounting-Coach-Yourself/dp/1471801586/ref=sr_1_16?ie=UTF8&qid=1399766934&sr=8-16&keywords=Duncan+williamson

I would love your feedback on this book as and when you have bought and read it.

DW

Bookkeeping Book

my latest book has been published now:

Natwest Bank: sack him

I have to say that I find the level of service and competence of the online and business teams is well below what anyone needs. I don't suppose I am alone in receiving consistently dire service.

My conclusion is that these people need a lot of training and whoever is at the head of these teams probably has no idea of what is happening and should resign.

DW

Natwest Bank: why bother?

Twice in the last year Natwest Bank has caused me problems with international payments. Now there's a new one.

Case 1 was investigated by the complaints department and ended with their report containing outright lies from a business team member. I responded to them, they did not reply.

Case 2 cost me money as they made a big mess, transferred weeks later than planned and effectively stole money from me. I lost a business opportunity too that probably cost me £2,000. I talked to Imran about this two weeks or so ago. In the end he essentially called me a liar. I told him I had documented the whole process, which I have. He told me three times that he can find no evidence for what I was telling him. As usual, rather than listening, he tried to talk over me and said things that just weren't true.

Case 3 NEW! A waiter snapped my debit card. A few days later and my credit card chip failed. After going through umpteen people, all with varying degrees of competence and listening ability I was told they could not make an urgent transfer to me because of "all the bank holidays in your region". I asked, what bank holidays? I got back on the phone to them and they then promised to make the transfer immediately. I told my wife, just watch: I think I have just been fobbed off. No immediate transfer made. There IS a bank holiday here, on Monday 5th May ... six days after I made my urgent transfer request. But guess what, the date they gave me for the arrival of my money? 5th May ... just when I can't get it. I am about to check my account again now but I am not holding my breath.

Another Satisfied Visitor

Bora wrote to me last week and asked for my Excellent help. I responded by saying, ok, I can do this on Monday. She replied to say, Wow! I didn't expect you to reply!!

It was an interesting problem: a database with over 41000 rows needs to be interrogated using four variables. I offered two separate solutions: use and sort on an Excel Table and use SUMIFS()

Both solutions worked a treat and Bora was delighted I am happy to say.

Good stuff!

Duncan Williamson

Froggie. You could have looked the other way!

Froggie was just sitting there as I had a peepee. Didn't see him until I had finished!

UPDATE 24th April 2014 ... I found Froggie on the floor in the dining room this morning. He looked very unwell but not dead. Within an hour or so he had died. He dried out very quickly.

This is the second frog to take up residence in the toilet. We caught and evicted the first one!

I have forgotten what I was going to say!

I came here to talk about something specific but got sidetracked for a while. now I cannot remember what my topic was!!! ok! Istanbul. Siri and I went there this week: I was working there. nice city. easy to get around. very busy city. lots to see and do. my work went well, too! I will remember my topic soon!! DW

Solved!

We suffered a massive lightning strike the other day that tripped the fuses but did no damage except that our wifi system fell apart.

Engineer came, changed routers and we had a connection BUT iphone, ipod and ipad couldn't connect. Grrr!

Did some research and found a lot of discussion that left me miserable.

Then I found a post that said, reset your network settings on your devices ... so I did ... it worked and we are all connected again.

I then researched a problem with the Find my iphone utility and found that if you set dates and times to help to get you more lives on candy crush, it won't work. Put the correct date and time back and all is well!

DW

Fighting and Accidents

I met a Scouser a few years ago and we spent a few breakfasts together at the hotel we were both staying at. This man was full of himself and his achievements although I could not say whether he was exaggerating or lying. What struck me most, though, was his fighting stories. Every other day he told me a story about a fight he'd had or how he flattened someone who'd got on his nerves. These were not childhood fights but recent fights. The man is in his fifties!!

Now I spend time, fortunately infrequently, with a Scandinavian. When I first met him he told me a story about the time he punched a man three times for a reason I can't remember. Oh oh! I thought. He doesn't tell me fighting stories any more but he tells accident stories:

The paramedic story ... He told that story twice and each time it was different

When we meet now he tells me he witnessed an accident on the road today, for emphasis it is usually a big one! He suggests that he stops and gets involved in some way but I think he does that when he sees that I am not overwhelmed

Last night he put himself at the centre of the story when he told me he came within a gnat's nadger of smashing into a buffalo on the way from town. The buffalo here are big animals and a collision with them, at speed, would be bad news. Did it happen? Of course not!

DW

At the Printer's

I was told yesterday that my bookkeeping book is at the printer's. 'ray! DW

Two Snakes Day

I have seen snakes around the house, on the road, in the bushes. Yesterday I saw TWO snakes around the house. One small, grey/brown, slithered under the gardening things at the back of the house and I left it alone.

A much larger, grey speckled snake, was meandering around the house and I couldn't ignore that one. I have tried to identify both snakes but without success so far. With this one, whilst appreciating that it eats mice and rats and so forth, I took the view that it could be poisonous and a threat to the family. I dealt with it.

No photos!

Duncan and Namwan

Sunglass Hut NOTHING

You know those cushions you get on earphones? Those foam rubber covers, I mean. Well, did you know they make for great substitutes for the lenses of sunglasses. Here is the proof.

DW

Tactless but we don't care!

We had a couple of house guests in February and it went disastrously. Nothing we did was wrong but they, man and woman, had serious relationship problems. Seeing as how they are who they are, everyone was dragged into the fray in one form or another and it became acrimonious for some people. In the end, if I never see the woman again, because of what she did and said, it will be a day too soon. The man is a very self centred and immature man who was probably guilty of inappropriately touching at least two if not three females and I pledged that if I saw them arriving I would lock the doors and refuse to let them in: he has caught me unawares twice. That's the introduction! The second part is that our dog died a week ago and everyone knows the story. Namwan has started thinking about a replacement dog more than I have but she was destroyed for a while when Reddy died. Last night that man arrived at the house with a puppy and announced that it's theirs and his woman had insisted and got it. I didn't recognise the breed and asked what it was ... no answer!. Will it grow big ... small. Is it a pedigree ... no answer! Trying another tack, have you got the certificate for it (Thailand Kennel Club is what I meant), blank stare, the certificate, the piece of paper ... Oh yes! we've got that. I am interested in the little thing to the extent I want to know if it is safe for our cat for that dog to be in our house. They sat and sniffed each other for a few seconds and seemed fine. In the future, the cat will become exceptionally territorial so the dog must learn that if ever it returns! For me, the conversation was over ... but then, as Namwan was showing no interest in the dog at all because of what I said in the introduction, the man put the dog on the settee next to her so she couldn't miss it. She touched it, smiled and that was enough, he took it back. From a psychological point of view this was a monstrously tactless thing to do: to take a new dog like that to a house that might still be grieving. Then to force the dog on to someone who is clearly not interested told me ... I've got a dog, have a look at my dog, what do you think of my dog, have you got a dog??? It's a bit like what happened when this man went shopping: he would return with his bags and wherever we were, living room, kitchen or somewhere else, he would take the items out one by one and say, I have bought bread ... tomato sauce ... sausages ... all ghastly but it's his motivation for doing this that told me more about him than what he bought. There you are: off my chest now! DW

Reddy the Dog

He was sick for just two days but in that time Reddy, our not quite 6 months old labrador retriever, deteriorated so quickly he couldn't be saved. The vet seemed good and we cannot and will not blame him.

The blame lies with the flea or tick that bit him and gave him whatever it was that killed him.

In true parasite style, we noticed that very soon after Reddy had died, these insects started crawling out of his fur. We had seen a couple of those fleas on him over time but we had no idea what they could do.

Anyway, nice dog, fantastic temperament. Just not meant to be with us very long.

The photo comes from the day we collected him.

DW

Reddy Hospitalised

We were watching Reddy all day and whilst he was very iffy, he seemed to be improving slowly. Then he had a catastrophic event where he passed a lot of blood. That turned his situation into an emergency. We cleaned the place up, washed the poor lad and set off for the local vet. The vet is a young man and seemed very confident and competent. Shaving the leg to get the drip in, finding the vein, injecting various chemicals and taking blood for a blood test ... They kept him overnight and as we left he was just a floppy doormat on the floor. We called this morning and he has not vomited any more but his poo is still flowing. He is rehydrated now and behaving a bit livelier ... so that's good. I will report back later: we should bring him home this evening. DW

I got the cat and the Horned Beetle

Here are a couple of lovely photos of Ginger the cat. I thought you might also like to see the horned beetle that seemed to be losing the will to live around the back of the house this morning too. All photos taken with a macro lens! DW

Reddy the Dog is Sick

Reddy the dog is sick: not looking good for him at the moment. Small progress overnight and he is taking water. But, he still feels the need to get into the house to share his little messages when he can! Spread the joy!! Looks bad but he has been locked out and on the patio all morning!! DW

Tiny Kitten Becomes Less Tiny Kitten!

Ginger the kitten has taken to eating meat and fish and prefers it to the condensed milk and egg solution we used to make for her: we put her food on a plate and she walks all over it: fish face, fish neck, fish feet. As she spreads the food about she thinks she finished it and comes wailing that she's still hungry. So, we push everything back into one lump, put her back on the plate and off she goes again!! She put on 20 grammes from Sunday to Monday and that's excellent. She really is thriving now and is around 250 grammes. The funniest thing Ginger does is to see her own reflection in a glass cupboard door and then start looking for the other cat!! I held the shiny side of a DVD in front of her the other day and she dashed behind it to find that other cat! DW

Coffee Reserves

I ran out of coffee yesterday. Jar empty. I have had to raid my coffee reserves: my stash of coffee sachets plundered from various hotel bedrooms across the piece!

DW

It is the cat. It is the cat

Not Last Night ...

For some reason I remembered this ditty from my childhood. It comes from a book that John Sutcliffe* and I found in Todmorden public library one Saturday morning. Why this snippet has stuck with me should come shining through the verse! Not last night but the night before Two tom cats came knocking at the door I went downstairs to let them in They knocked me down with a rolling pin The rolling pin was made of brass They knocked me down and kicked my arse I just did an online search for this and have found many variants but not this exact one. The Opie name springs to mind as the possible authors or collators of the book we might have used. My mother howled at this one, by the way: thought it was very funny. *John was my all time childhood best friend and sadly he died several years ago following a simple motor bike accident near Skipton: A true accident, no one's fault, just bad luck. DW

A Petit Peregrination, nay, Perambulation!

Here I am with Reddy the dog wandering around with camera in hand this morning. The insect was at home, however: DW

Jealousy

A situation arose this week that I have been thinking about and it concerns the destructive force of jealousy.

I am planning to write something here about it.

Later

DW

Flash, Flash ... You're in my way!

Around 27,000 people a year are killed on the roads of Thailand. That's a lot by any standards. The following is a true account of some of what you might see on Thai roads. On average, Thai driving is not too bad. People say that driving in Bangkok is dangerous: it isn't. Not so dangerous that they should ban all traffic. No, the truth is that in central parts of Bangkok, there is so much traffic that it moves at very low speeds where dangerous driving is very difficult to accomplish. In the quitter parts of Bangkok, maybe it's a different story. Let's go out of town, now. Drive along the major single carriageways of Thailand and you may suddenly face the situation of a bus or lorry or car coming at you, in your lane, flashing its headlights at you. The message is simple: I am overtaking one or more vehicles but I cannot or will not get back into my lane before I smash into you. So, get out of my way. The first time that happened to me was when I was rounding a bend and a large single decker bus was having at me. Fortunately there was a hard should of sorts and with that split second warning I was able to get out of the way. This has happened to me a few times over the last 12 months or so and whilst it is a shock, so far I have got away with it. I tend to give way because these incidents have happened on fast roads and/or when the opposition driver was clearly driving quickly. Be warned, be ready. However, last weekend I went to Chong Chom market and on the way there there is an army check post. It is unusual for the soldiers to stop anyone but there are half barriers in the road to ensure that all drivers have to slow down. As I approached my barrier, a pickup truck was coming at me and he started flashing his headlights. Since we were going at relatively low speeds I decided to call his bluff and I did not move out of his way. We did not crash or even have a near miss because I achieved my objective of getting him to stop and then I moved out of his way in time. I could see by the driver's face as I slid past that he couldn't believe what I had just done. Then again, I cannot believe that drivers here feel able to put the lives of many people, including themselves, at risk with their flash, flash mentality. DW

One's Accouchement!

I clicked on a link to an article from the year 1853 yesterday: it was about Queen Victoria's "late accouchement". I confess, I had never seen the word accouchement before so it was good to learn that! However, the purpose behind pasting the article here is to contrast the style of writing from 1853 with the style of today's newspapers. I have not attempted to translate the words into more modern speak because some people say that my writing is 19th century style anyway! Here it is, make of it what you will!! THE QUEENS'S LATE ACCOUCHEMENT We did not announce fact of Her Majesty having inhaled chloroform during her late accouchement, because we did not think the profession justified in prying into the domestic arrangements of the Palace. As, however, another journal has thought fit to comment on the subject, we may now mention the particulars. Dr Snow administered chloroform to the Queen, in the presence of Sir James Clark, for the last hour of parturition. A handkerchief, on which a small quantity of chloroform had been dropped, was held to the face. Her Majesty was never completely insensible, but she expressed herself satisfied with the anodyne effects produced. Should farther information be required, we are confident Dr Snow will, with his usual courtesy, afford it to all such as consider themselves entitled to ask it. Uneasy, indeed, would be the head which wears a crown if Royalty might not avail itself of all those means for the alleviation of suffering which Providence has placed within the reach alike of rich and poor. Who would desire Her Majesty to suffer one avoidable pang, that she might satisfy the morbid sensibility of the timid, or the domineering coarseness of the bigot? If the employment of chloroform be hurtful in parturition, then should the profession unite in forbidding its administration to the humblest mother in the realm; but, if its use be advantageous, surely no one has a greater right to its benefits than that gracious lady under whose benificent rule we have the happiness to live. If it be desired to retain popular feeling in favour of that freedom which the British press now enjoys, the sacred pale of the family circle must be exempt from our criticisms. To this exemption there must be no exception - not even in favour of the Palace. We mention especially the home of our beloved Sovereign, because certain persons have been accustomed to allow themselves an unwonted license, when commenting on what is reported to them from its precincts, taking advantage of the fact that the Queen is the only lady in England who can be insulted with impunity. Medical Times and Gazette, May 21 1853 Source: www.thetimes.co.uk DW

Fabulous Photography

Trust me, if you like macro photography you will love this site. Anna Laurent is a scientist and photographer and she wanders around taking fantastic photos of seeds! Start here with seed pod gallery one then two, three ... then look at her landscape work. Well done Anna! DW

WIFI Upgrade

If you are going to install a CAT wifi system, it pays to have an expert from Denmark staying with you as it's installed.

The system is complex as it involves the erection of a 15 metre mast,  pointing to various stations, routers and so on.

Morten installs these dystems in Denmark on a big scale so he is able to work with the engineer here to sort it all out.

The benefit of having Morten here is that it's the weekend, the main station us causing a problem but with his skills he is able to get the system up and running in a stable way until tomorrow, Monday.

Let's hear it for plucky Denmark!

DW

Dog Star? Star Dogs!

Last night I went out side to make a video of the night sky. I saw some software that can take photos and videos of stars and enhance them. The results can be stunning.

Let's forget the first two attempts in which I forgot to open the shutter and recorded two minutes of nothing.

As I set up and started to record properly, meme the dog arrived and nudged the tripod! Then doggie arrived and, being much bigger, muscled in and I had to protect the camera and restrain both dogs as they jostled for position and then meme brought a tennis ball and wanted me to play with her!

Lattie the dog arrived next and she started a mock fight with doggie, as usual: they fought really near to the tripod ... again, I was filming and concentrating on that ...

On the soundtrack you will hear the struggle I had and my exclamation that Bernard Lovell never had such problems!

Nightmare!!

Saw

Sausage Skins and Reddy Parts 1, 2 and 3

Sausage Skins

I bought some vegetarian sausages last week and I said today they were
a bit tough. Anyway, I decided to cook some more and started frying
them. Someone asked me, why are you cooking them in their plastic
wrappers? Gulp! I ate those wrappers last week!!

Reddy the dog 1

Yesterday morning Reddy was out in the garden and as I came out of the
kitchen door I was just in time to see him taking a flying run at the
kitchen garden, not having seen the netting that keeps animals out and
he came flying backwards in shock as he bounced off it!! Where's the
video camera when you need it?

Reddy the dog 2

When Reddy came into the house after having bounced off the netting, I
said, you look fat today Reddy. About two hours later we learned that
he'd shared a huge bowl of cooked rice with another four month old pup
and was so full that he wanted nothing more to do with his bone, did
not want to leave his bed and when we encouraged him to go for a pee
pee outside, he couldn't bring himself to leave the living room.

Reddy the dog 3

So, he's learned to escape again. We have had several weeks of
contentment because Reddy got too big to squeeze through the holes in
our defences. Now, though, he is big enough to leap over the gate.
Grr!

This morning, 6:30 am, he was outside and whilst it is easy to get him
to come close to me, providing the other family dogs come too, getting
him that final two metres into my clutches is another matter. That
training incomplete so far. So, I slowly went after him saying, stay,
stay ... he's unsure so he stopped for a second, ambled away slowly
but surely, stopped, ambled ...

Then I did something I have not done since I was twelve: I Rugby
tackled the beast! I hit the floor fairly softly but kept hold of
Reddy's midriff. Then I went flat and all four other dogs, thinking
this was a huge game, came over and started licking, trampling ... all
over me! I brushed the other dogs away and still managed to hold on to
Reddy, I am happy to say and got him inside within a minute of my
heroic feat of athleticism!

A good job there was no video camera there to record this unsightly
event, however, as I was never a good Rugby player!!

DW

It Happened Again

In England I had a rubbish broadband connection but paid top price for it.

Here in Thailand I have done it again. At the moment, though, I am using a connectoon that gives me hope. Relatively very fast and seemingly stable.

I am investigating it!!

DW

The Moon

As followers here know I love taking photos of the moon. I did it
again last night ... here it is.

DW

Source of Data: Aswath Damodaran

If you work in accounting and finance and you need up to date and
relevant information that would otherwise take you hours and hours to
track down, take a look at this site:

http://people.stern.nyu.edu/adamodar/New_Home_Page/data.html

Damodaran not only provides this free service every year but he puts
online his notes, his lectures, his spreadsheets ... the lot.

DW

Here's Reddy

The dog!!

DW

Windows on the Mac

I got Windows 8.1 working on my MacBook Pro. I couldn't partition the hdd for some reason so it's on a virtual machine!

I hope it's stable and does what I want.

DW

New Angle

The house taken from a new angle by Namwan

DW

Reddy the Labrador Retriever

Here's my dog with Nye: the boy lives in the next village.

I have known Reddy for just a few hours so I am looking forward to getting to know him.

Intellectual Joke in German

I love listening to Bach's Christmas Oratorio at, erm, Christmas. I listen to a German version and it starts with what sounds like Joseph O Lopez. So I sing along to Joseph O Lopez. Eventually curiosity got the better of me and I checked the real text and Joseph O Lopez is really Jauchzet, frohlocket! Jauchzet, frohlocket! means shout for joy, rejoice! Jauchzet, frohlocket! auf, preiset die Tage, Rühmet, was heute der Höchste getan! Lasset das Zagen, verbannet die Klage, Stimmet voll Jauchzen und Fröhlichkeit an! Dienet dem Höchsten mit herrlichen Chören, Laßt uns den Namen des Herrschers verehren! Shout for joy, exult, rise up, glorify the day, praise what today the highest has done! Abandon hesitation, banish lamentation, begin to sing with rejoicing and exaltation! Serve the highest with glorious choirs, let us honour the name of our ruler! Thank you http://www.bach-cantatas.com/Texts/BWV248-1-Eng3.htm and I wonder what happened to Joseph O Lopez, then? DW

Magical Clouds, Santa and Photo Emulation

Nice photos I think ... DW

Goodness!

There are Christmas adverts on Thai TV. I think I might emigrate!!

DW

That Old Rake Joke

There was a joke that lasted for years on the telly, in films and even in cartoons. Some buffoon would stand on the prongs of a rake thus bringing the handle sharply in connection with his face. Guffaw! Uproar!

Let me tell you, it really hurts and I've got a lump on the side of my head to prove it.

It knocked me sideways and affected my hearing for a while too. Fortunately my hearing has returned to normal.

Who put the rake in my way? I did!! And I am embarrassed at how easy it was to banjos myself.

DW

I Don't like Dogs

There are now four dogs in and around this house and I've taken a dislike to them.

Number one, they are not working dogs so they do nothing.

Number two, when they could catch and eat the rats and mice that live around here, they don't. They didn't seem to notice the rats that chewed the wires in my car even though they slept next to the car.

Number three, they are cowards. Any other adult dog, literally any other adult dog, can wander into the garden and steal their food. As they do so, our dogs move aside and wait for them to finish.

Number four, I give the cat a bowl of milk when it wanders across but yesterday, one of the pups saw the cat drinking and just barged in and finished the lot before I realised what was going on. I banished the thing as I gave the cat some more milk but it was clear that this pup couldn't understand why it couldn't just drink the new milk too.

Number five, they are dirty creatures. We do not allow the dogs to come  into our house but we can see the trail of their dirt on the steps and the patio outside the house. Imagine if we let them bring in what they liked!

Number six, they rummage around in bins and leave trails of rubbish wherever they like.

Maa baa ... bad dog!

DW

Stewart and Meme: the pups

Here they are ... getting very big. In the last two weeks they have doubled in size again! Stewart in particular has a voracious appetite.

We did a spot of gardening today and after we had put the sand and soil in these old tyre pots, you can see what happened. I hope you can appreciate how big they pups are too. I have included a photo where they are next to my leg to give you a reference point.

DW

Does Anyone Understand?

I have been saying this for a long time ... I think people click ads on Google with no idea that they just clicked an ad that automatically sends money to Google.

By the same token, I have never seen an ad on Facebook but if I found that I had inadvertently sent money to Facebook I would be horrified.

Let anyone start a business but let them do it honestly.

Read this article to see why I said all of that:

Google showcase comes at a premium - http://www.ft.com/cms/8c1f2e90-5501-11e3-86bc-00144feabdc0.html

DW

Two Dogs and a Cat

The Dogs

We got back home early this evening and all is well with the family.

We were really keen to see the pups as I had been away for about two weeks. Last time I was away for 9 - 10 days and by the time I got back they had doubled in size. Well, they did it again: they doubled in size again and Stewart is big and heavy whereas Meme is just big.

We held them for a while to check them over and both of them jumped to the floor and both of them did the same flop landing as their front legs could not coordinate with the rest of their bodies.

The Cat!

Kitty, aka meow meow, paid a call too and made a lot of noise. This is odd behaviour for her as she normally never bothers us. We gave her some milk, two lots in fact. She stayed with us for quite a while and if we moved she made more noise. Then suddenly she launched herself at one of our pot plants and ended up on top of it, breaking off its growing point in the process. I think it was trying to catch an insect!! Anyway, we put her out after that. Let's see her mood tomorrow.

DW

Beta: how to find one!

Another course completed and another post for the blog just suggests itself naturally.

This week a delegate wanted to know how to find the weighted average cost of capital for his company: not just an academic view but a real WACC value. One of the aspects of WACC that is often a bit tricky is to find the value of Beta. It's easy to find Beta values for listed companies in the UK, Europe and the USA but this company is in Saudi Arabia and I could not find the Beta value on the Saudi stock exchange web site.

What I did was to go and find a sample of the changes in the index of the entire stick exchange and the changes in the price of the share. I found the information I needed at bloomberg.com and here is the table I prepared in the Excel file:



 

All we need to do then is to create this formula: =SLOPE(C5:C12,B5:B12) ... in cell E16 and the estimate of Beta this gives is 0.8314 ... with a market Beta of 1, this tells us that Savola is rather a conservative company as far as the Saudi stock market is concerned.

If I have time over the next week I will try to expand this table to 70 prices and changes to give us a more reliable estimate of Savola's Beta.

Watch this space!

Duncan Williamson

Tea at The Ritz

We just had afternoon tea at The Ritz and it was very good. Highly recommended. We didn't take any cameras with us so a photo of their advertising card is the best I can offer!

The harp music was very subdued but i think that was right.

Four afternoon teas served while we were there.

DW

Butterfly Park and the Damp Walk Back

We took a taxi to the KL butterfly park this afternoon and then enjoyed walking around and taking photos of the little things. For some reason I didn't fully grasp, we ended up walking away from the park. Then our attempts at flagging down a taxi failed. Then it started raining. Then we walked all the way back to the hotel where a long hot shower awaited!

So here I am, post shower, feeling comfortable and ready for dinner somewhere!

Butterfly photos later!

DW

I Wonder Why!

We have just spent two hours in the Platinum shopping centre in Bangkok and in one part of the mall there is a clothes shop called Galashiels. I happen to know that Galashiels is a small town on the borders of England and Scotland and if only my Thai were much better I would have asked how they ended up with a shop with that name. Fascinating! For references, here is a link to that Scottish town, population just over 12,000: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galashiels Please note, this is not criticism of anyone or anything, just wondering aloud. DW

Moresby, Mali and Melbourne

I am in transit in Dubai and I have just been chatting to a Kiwi who works in a gold mine in Mali. I said, there’s a bit of strife over there at the moment isn’t there? In the North, yes, but not where he and his 149 expat colleagues are helping to mine gold and silver.

He started his expat life in Papua New Guinea but was baled out by the New Guinean army when the locals cut up rough over a pay claim and drove machinery and vehicles over cliff edges … you can imagine.

He is on his way to Melbourne now, a fourteen hour flight. His route is as follows:

• Mali to Paris
• Paris to Dubai
• Dubai to Melbourne

Two and a half days to get home. He has just left to find a bed for the night as he has a 9 hour wait for his next flight!

Good luck as we shook hands in farewell!

DW

Password Possibly Poleaxing

This has happened before but I can't remember when.

For some reason many of the services I use online are refusing to recognise my passwords. I then go through the process of resetting the dratted things but I cannot guarantee that I won't have to reset it again very soon afterwards.

Frustrating waste of time.

DW

Pivot Table COUNT Default Problem CURED!

I had a delegate this week whose Pivot Tables would take any of his numerical data and by default count them rather than sum them. When he asked me why that happened I went through the normal explanation of data v numbers ... which is true. However, in his case there seemed to be no reason behind this phenomenon: his data was clean as he was using my files and no one else had the same problem. He was using a good quality company laptop too.

We both checked on the internet last night and gained nothing from the many discussions on this problem: most of which related to data v numbers I have to say.

This morning I suggested that we look at his Windows Regional etc settings. His default language etc was US English and that seemed to be in order; but I said, let's try this, change it to UK English and see what happens.

Ta daa! For some reason, this change did the trick and now this delegate's Pivot Tables sum his data rather than counting it.

Another success story fromExcelMaster!

Duncan Williamson

Weak in Riyadh

The title's a pun!

Just finished my working week in Riyadh and will be travelling back home in about four hours from now.

DW

Reverse Pivot Magic

UPDATE: 13th September 2019 I can imagine some of my visitors will still find this page of use if they are using a very old version of Excel. However, if you are using Excel 2016 or 2013 or even 2010, you should be able to use a much newer and more powerful technique for unpivoting data. Of course, I already have a page for that and here it is: Power Query Unpivoting

UPDATE: 16th January 2014: I have been using this technique since I last reported and I have found some limitations AND solutions to this reverse pivot technique. I will prepare a page and video to demonstrate what I have found.

2nd December 2013

Watch the video and then imagine that you have downloaded a five year set of financial statements for a company. Nothing wrong with the data or the database they came from but imagine you want to set up a pivot table from them. Probably not possible unless you are lucky enough to have a data provider who has designed their output with this in mind.

Let's cut a long story short: open this file amazon_case_reverse_pivot and try to apply the reverse pivot technique in my video to the data you will see there. Good luck and it will be worth any effort you put into it! PLEASE READ THE NOTES in this work book re copyright ...

I didn't invent this technique but I learned it a couple of weeks ago and used it in earnest just now ... watch the video!

I had a table that had months across the top, years down the left hand side and data in between. What I wanted was the data in a list in three columns:

year month value

transposing, rotating, copying and pasting can give you what you want but it will take a long time. My original table covered all twelve months and five years ...

Reversing a Pivot table is what it's called and this is how to do it:

1. Press Alt + D then P to call up the pivot table wizard and select Create a "Multiple Consolidation Ranges PivotTable."


2. Select "I will create my own page fields".


3. Select your data range and choose 0 page fields


4. When you see your pivot table, double click on the intersection of Row Grand and Column Grand, in the bottom right hand corner of your pivot table


5. You will be presented with your new table in the form of a list ... that is, from pivot table style to list style ... it's magic!

The video [wpvideo tGsBeRej]

Duncan Williamson

AGGREGATE Function Templates

I know I learned this function a while ago but then I forgot about it. The aggregate function was newly created for Excel 2010 and it provides us with some interesting functionality: overcoming shortfalls in the performance of such functions as AVERAGE, MIN, MAX, LARGE, SMALL and a few more ... 19 of them altogether. The trouble is, good as it is, it is not that simple to apply. What I have done then is  to create templates that will help you to use the aggregate function in one or both of the formats in which it might be used.

From the Excel Help File:

Returns an aggregate in a list or database. The AGGREGATE function can apply different aggregate functions to a list or database with the option to ignore hidden rows and error values.

Syntax

Reference form

AGGREGATE(function_num, options, ref1, [ref2], …)

Array form

AGGREGATE(function_num, options, array, [k])

The AGGREGATE function syntax has the following arguments (argument:

Function Number

Required. A number from 1 to 19 that specifies which function to use

Options

Required. A numerical value that determines which values to ignore in the evaluation range for the function

Ref 1

Required. The first numeric argument for functions that take multiple numeric arguments for which you want the aggregate value

Ref 2

Optional. Numeric arguments 2 to 253 for which you want the aggregate value

For functions that take an array, ref1 is an array, an array formula, or a reference to a range of cells for which you want the aggregate value. Ref2 is a second argument that is required for certain functions. The following functions require a ref2 argument:

• LARGE(array,k)


• SMALL(array,k)


• PERCENTILE.INC(array,k)


• QUARTILE.INC(array,quart)


• PERCENTILE.EXC(array,k)


• QUARTILE.EXC(array,quart)

The AGGREGATE function is designed for columns of data, or vertical ranges. It is not designed for rows of data, or horizontal ranges. For example, when you subtotal a horizontal range using option 1, such as AGGREGATE(1, 1, ref1), hiding a column does not affect the aggregate sum value. But, hiding a row in vertical range does affect the aggregate.

My templates will tell you if you are trying to use the wrong format of aggregate and has then been set up to ensure you don't make any other mistakes when using it. This includes providing combobox guidance for choosing which functions and options you need to use.

The Excel file is available here: aggregate_function ... just click!

All feedback is warmly received as are suggestions for improvement.

Duncan Williamson

Wildcards are Great ... Until THIS Happens!

Wildcards

As I am working away this week, I can be found looking at, opening up, working on a spreadsheet or two. Last night I came across yet another excuse to build an Excel data set. I found the TopTrack 250 and just had to have it: all seven years' worth of day for the top 250 companies according to the Top Track definition. Look here for the 2013 data set.

So I duly copied and pasted the data for 2013 into a spreadsheet and edited it. Having seen that I liked what I had done I then copied over the other six years' worth of data from Top Track. Because the data copied over in a very standard and predictable way, I was able to select all six sheets of the additional data and work on them all concurrently: moving data from one row to another, setting up columns in a better way, lining up the data to make it consistent with what I had already done with the 2013 set. Easy and not too time consuming.

But now the wildcards. On the web site that the data came from they had symbols such as asterisks that pointed to a note that said ... average, estimate ... or something like that. I needed to get rid of them all! As it was late and I wasn't looking carefully, I carried out an edit and replace of * and having pressed Replace All, found that ALL of my data disappeared ... it was doing what a wildcard must do ... in this case, any character was being replaced by nothing! A very hasty Ctrl+Z put everything back to the way it was but I still had to get rid of these symbols.

What to do? Delete every symbol manually? No, there were too many of them. Given that the symbol was in the same place in the cell it was in, at the beginning, I ended up with a formula solution that I entered in a new blank column that I would eventually use to replace the current data:

=IF(LEFT(D6,1)="*",RIGHT(D6,LEN(D6)-1),D6)

Why D6? That's where the first of my data points is in each of the tables I set up. I then copied the formula across to the next cell on the right and then down to the bottom of the table ... it worked a treat.

I remembered that I should have added that there were other symbols in the data in addition to the * and I amended my formula to cope with the ‡ symbol:

=IF(OR(LEFT(D6,1)="*",LEFT(D6,1)="‡"),RIGHT(D6,LEN(D6)-1),D6)

Now I had to copy and paste my edited values as text rather than leaving them in formula format, otherwise I have to leave the original data in the file AND have the edited version. So I just copied and pasted the edited values over the original data and my data were now clean and tidy ... but read on!

Numbers as Text

One problem remained: having replaced these symbols, the result was numbers as text rather than number as number. In this case I did this:

• enter 1 in any available cell


• copy that cell


• select the entire range of numbers ... all of them so you miss nothing and don't waste your time selecting just the affected ones if your data set is large like mine


• paste special, multiply


• ta daa! your numbers as text have now become numbers as numbers


• Delete that cell with 1 in it

There you are wildcards and paste special to set up a nice, clean table of data copied from the web.

Duncan Williamson

Oor Wullie

Willie Robertson, Oor Wullie for four hours.

Willie made himself known to me at Bangkok International Airport as we were just two of three people in the Emirates lounge. He said, Its just you and me now. I looked up from my spreadsheet and suggested we start a riot then. He felt a riot was not the answer.

After confirming that it would be fine for us to chat for a while, we got to talking about life, the universe and everything. We are of very similar ages and I gathered from very similar backgrounds: his Dundee upbringing v my West Yorkshire upbringing. The common bond, of course, was my Scottish mother.

I don't normally chat to fellow travellers because they invariably think I want to hear about their aeroplane and airport stories. Thanks, everyone; but you can keep them to yourself.

We spent about four hours together, chewing the cud, putting the world to rights, making pots of green tea and eating desserts. Willie had a couple of glasses of white wine.

He started by telling me that he does competency training in the Oil & Gas industry. I said, I've got a spreadsheet for that!! I have too!

Willie mentioned the book he wrote: On the Milk ... available on Amazon. I checked as we chatted. If I can find a way of getting the book to me I will buy it. It's Willie's story of adolescence in Dundee, involving a milk cart. I asked if he meant horse and cart and as he started to object by saying he was not so old, I said we had a horse and cart milkman well into the 1960s!

He came to reveal his authorship as I vented bile against backpacking gap year people with their dreadful clothes, bad manners and bad habits. I also said white people with dreadlocks looked stupid. He replied by pointing at his own barnet suggesting his dreadlocks weren't too bad. I said there's a difference between your slightly long hair and dreadlocks. Then he said he had grown his hair long in an attempt to look more like an author. Well, that's one way of telling me about his book.

Speaking of colour, later in the evening he told me that Baa Baa Black Sheep has become Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep. I said, you're joking ... Well, I will be baa baa black sheeping all over twitter for a while now. Who are these morons who think they've done something clever. Here's the truth: black sheep really exist, rainbow sheep don't. When I was growing up and raising my own children, baa baa black sheep NEVER conjured up images of racial turmoil. These people are sick.

I told Willie the story of the £80,000 Urinal v Non Urinal sign changes on the toilets in Manchester University. How these things ever get beyond zero is the most mysterious thing.

Then again, what about MARY and her little lamb with its fleece as WHITE as snow? I need a lie down now that I have thought of that. Somebody DO something.

After watching me make my pot of tea he asked if I ever had a drink so I said no and explained why: waking up too early with a thick head had lost its appeal!! Fair enough he said, as he took another swig of his WHITE wine. I then explained how some people try to force me into having a drink ... you can't celebrate with lemonade ... ok, if really want to buy me a beer, feel free ... but I won't drink it. That led to an evening of teasing over the champagne I was missing out on.

I started talking about Andrew Mitchell and William Hague. How they became an MP and then treat it as a vehicle for doing many other things rather than concentrating on representing their constituents. Willie said that whilst he didn't like this Mitchell chap, he had been treated shabbily. I said fair enough but it was clear that he had taken his bike to the wrong gate and had argued with the policemen about it. Normal people wouldn't have argued. Moreover, why did he resign so quickly? Still, he should worry.

At various stages Willie said he would change his shirt before boarding his plane. He never got round to it until a minute before i left for my flight. As I was packing up, he returned, sporting a more normal shirt than his tee shirt. Standards!

For some reason I mentioned the Newsnight programme I watched while I was in London two weeks ago. The one in which Jeremy Paxman was sent to interview Russell Brand. What we got was a rant: why are there poor people, we need to do something about poverty, there is illness in the world and that's wrong ... that's what I heard. I thought, who thought that getting someone with the views of a sixteen year old on Newsnight would be informative and useful in any way? I thought at one stage Brand was going to come out with that Monty Python classic: narcosyndicalist but he didn't. Then I imagined Brand going back to his multi million pound home and lifestyle and stopped worrying about that irksome man.

As we meandered through our views on life, Willie mentioned his time in Romania and how he ended up buying two friendly policemen there a tot of whisky each a two in the morning. Which sparked my own memory of the beautiful (untouched) girls of Bucharest and of the Ceaucescu monstrous building that I walked the circumference of but which I never considered stepping inside of. Along the same lines, when someone suggested in Georgia that we take a detour to go to Gori and sit on the bed that Stalin was born in, I said, drive on!

I was was impressed by the revelation that Willie has £2,000 in £2 coins in a sock under the bed.

A propos nothing I told Willie that I met a British couple one weekend at a resort on Lake Malawi. We chatted about this and that then one of them said, you know, we drove to Zomba and back the other day and we didn't see one WHITE face. Rather odd that, don't you think?!!! How do we let these people out?

So called reality TV got a mauling from Willie. Who are these 19 year olds, Willie wanted to know, who end up on our television screens whilst caterwauling that all they want to do is sing and if they don't win this competition, life is over for them. How about getting a life and working their way around the clubs and theatres like normal people? Of course, most of them warble rather than sing anyway! I added that Willie must never forget that erstwhile cooks on TV cookery competitions all tell us how PASSIONATE they are about food. Then just about all of them start murdering their ingredients and recipes. I really wouldn't want to eat what most of them throw together, would you?

Let me finish with this. Willie talked about his efforts to find someone in the Dundee government machinery who could help and advise him with his work ... like me, he works abroad so he exports his services. He got nowhere, no names of commercial attaches anywhere. I pointed out that William Hague has reformed passport renewal for the UK. If you find yourself abroad with the need to renew your passport, you will find that it will take six WEEKS. That's the death of my business for six weeks then. Stupid, stupid man, Mr Hague.

Well, there you are: the perturbations of two grumpy old men in an airport lounge in Bangkok. Entertaining!

Thank you Oor Willie, I would not have done any of that without you!!

DW

Travelling

Leaving home today for this trip:

Bangkok
Riyadh via Dubai
Bangkok
Kuala Lumpur
Bangkok
Home

There you are!

DW

Here it is but you can't have it

Of late I hace come across this Windows shocker.

Open Windows Explorer and search for something. On average, if it's on your hdd, Windows will find it. However, I have had occasions when I have known something was there but I had to refine the search to get at it.

Sometimes,  twice yesterday, this happens ... enter your search term and wait. Windows shows you one or more files so you click one to open it and it says, I kid you not, Windows cannot find that file ... Explain that!

Another Windows Explorer niggle comes when I want to refine my search ab initio by, eg, saying, only find xlsx or pptx files ... usually such a choice is not available to me. Then sometimes it is ... not very often, though.

DW

Tabs? Where are my tabs? I want my taaaaaaabs

Eeessh! Calm down!

So, you know your work book compriees at least two work sheets but you cannot see any tabs at the bottom of your Excel work book.

Click on maximise in the top right hand corner, just in case. If you still cannot see them, try this

Click the office button at the top left, it's either a Windows circle or a rectangle saying File
Click options
Click advanced
Scroll to Display options ...
Select Show sheet tabs if it is not selected
That should solve this problem.

This happened to me yesterday with an old file and since I NEVER deselect show tabs, I just wonder how these things happen!

Duncan Williamson

Rejected ... they didn't like my cake ; (

I signed up to an online photo storage/selling site and so far I have uploaded a few photos and they have been accepted. I had one rejected last week because it contained the name of an hotel, fair enough.

Now, make your own mind up: why do you think this photo was rejected today? I have no idea!

Well, I'd show you the photo if I could but Blogger won't let me upload it for some reason. I'll find a work around soon!

DW

Washing Machine

New App

I have finally managed to install the Blogger App on my Galaxy Tab. Editing seems to be a problem with it. Once I press finished, published or not, I think I can't edit a post.

So forgive all errors and omissions.

DW

The Master Bedroom

We have bought and had fitted the curtains for our bedroom now. The bedding doesn't quite match, however! There's time for that :)

Puppies ar Six Weeks

Well, one of the two puppies. Stewart (!) Followed me to the lake on the motorbike just as I had stopped to admire some Buffalo taking a dip.

Stewart was fascinated and showed no fear if the water or the steeply sloping bank. He was half submerged at one point!

Here he is, then, six weeks old ...

Misbehaving in a cell? UPDATE

I wonder if this is a feature, a bug or a coincidence within 24 hours of uploading this post it happened again ... see below8w.

Last week I was working on a file in Excel and one aspect the work was to use the COUNTIFS () function. I know this function and have used and demonstrated it many times. Would it work? Yes it did and then it point blank refused.

Yesterday a friend asked me about setting up hyperlinks in an Excel file and then saving that file as a Web Page before uploading it on to an intranet. I set to work and created two basic hyperlinks, saved as Web Page ... one link worked and one didn't. I corrected the error, saved the file again. Did the correction work? Not at all. I went back and checked my work but still it didn't work.

Is there a theme here? Yes!

In both cases, when I deleted the error completely and started again from scratch I got rid of the errors, no amount of editing in these cases looked as if it would work.

UPDATE

This morning I was working through some lookup examples that included a complex formula that included INDEX, ROW and should have been array entered. I copied and pasted an example formula that I knew would not work. Then I edited the formula but just could not make it work. So I started again I a new cell and bingo, it worked.

If something you KNOW is correct is not working: delete, start again.

Let me know if this worked for you too.

Duncan Williamson

We're in

The builder's finished and we have moved in. We built our last piece of furniture last night ... A wardrobe ... Big! It took 3".5hours to build.

Looking good overall I have to say!

DW

London Bound

I start a long trek to London today. Because of bus times I leave here in about two hours, one night in Bangkok then hop over to Kuala Lumpur for the direct flight to Heathrow.

This is all for work.

DW

Wonderful Technology

Yes, modern technology is wonderful, so where have I been, where are my latest posts?

There are two posts firmly rooted in my blogger outbox. I tried to create other posts whilst I was travelling.

Technology is wonderful but just try being a little off centre in your demands and you might as well be trying to use the internet on the moon!

DW

We're in ... Almost

The house is almost ready but not quite. I said, I can't wait much longer. Living in a room in someone else's house, taking up space, trying to keep out of their way as much as possible.

So, we've moved into bedroom two was three and we sleep there. As work goes on, we spend the day in the house with the family.

Every time I look at the jobs that need to be done I see another week or two to wait.

Now, though, I spend my evenings in the new room and the nights snoozing in it!

Here is a photo of what I can see from the bed ... iPad camera, poor quality.

No curtains yet!

DW