Saturday morning and there's a major BANANA INCIDENT to report. Who'd have thought that early Saturday morning would be a controversial time to go down to breakfast? I'm not one of those who can sleep in at the weekends until goodness knows when: I wake up at the same time as I do during the week ... I've been blessed with a non idling brain I'm afraid. So breakfast can be as early on Saturday and Sunday as it is on Monday and the rest of the week. So this morning I went down for breakfast at around 7:45 or so and got the feeling that I might have been the first there: certainly one of the first. The fruit bowl was replete. I found three, no four, bananas. As I stood there serving my muesli and milk, glass of milk and cup of coffee I thought "I think I'll have TWO bananas today to make up for the missing ones!" I went for and took one banana, honest I was only going to have one when two people burst out of the kitchen: dressed in black fatigues and looking menacing, they shouted "Down, put those bananas down. Put those bananas down. NOOOOWWW!" I was shocked and they knew it. They came forward menacingly as I froze, unable to deal with this banana situation. I didn't know what to do: what would you do? Put down just the ONE banana or try and answer them: but I've only got one? They wouldn't believe me, anyway. If I just admitted to one banana, they'd insist on searching me but then they'd have to accuse me of eating the second one ... and the skin?? My banana arm must have twitched and the tall fat one shouted "Put those bananas back in the fruit bowl or we'll have to take you out". Gulp, they were serious: who were they? What did they want? In the book I'm reading at the moment the author describes a situation like this: I'll do what he did ... call their bluff. I'll tough it out, I thought. I said "No! I've only got one banana and I'm keeping it. There was no banana for me yesterday and I've a jolly good mind to take another one if you don't behave yourself." The shorter of the two froze now. He stood stock still. His eyes narrowed. As his friend caught up with him, he put his hand on his shoulder and said in a low, serious voice, "Let me deal with this." I said "Deal all you like." Beads of sweat had formed on my brow and my legs were turning funny. I knew that in the book the man who toughed it out took a beating that landed him in hosptal for a month and rehabilitation for four months after that. Who was I trying to fool: I'm a coward! All this for the sake of a banana? "No banana yesterday, you say?" "No!" "Just one banana today, you say?" "Yes! Why would I take two?" "We thought ... " "Of course not!" "Oh, OK then." And off they went: strutting their way back to the kitchen. To pounce another day, perhaps? I must write up to someone. They gave me a huge fright! I think I'll call them the banana bunch! Just be careful what you say to yourself as you stand next to the banana bowl, that's all I can say!! DW