Here’s a top tip:
Never turn on your washing machine and then leap into your shower where the water is heated by means of one of those electric instant water heating boxes.
DW
I have seen TWO examples of the latest English language nonsense today; both relating to the very sad Madeleine McCann story.
You might have seen a newspaper and a television news channel both declaring the six month anniversary of Madeleine's disappearance.
Now, what does the word anniversary mean? What does the part of the word anni come from I wonder? Anni comes from annus meaning year from Middle English which in turn came from Latin.
I know some people who read this blog think I'm mad as far as the corruption of our language is concerned: it's just something that bothers ME. If it doesn't bother you, fine: but don't be too critical of me. After all, everyone here doubtless gets aerated over something if it's not language and that's good for you. You are free to share your worries here by commenting, sensibly, by the way.
So, the newspapers really need to find another less lazy way of saying that it's six months to the day since Madeleine disappeared. Oops, there you are, I did it!
DW
A colleague bought a bargain suit (top brand, 75% off in the sale) at a shop not far from where I am sitting. Having tried it on he felt it needed a slight alteration so sought a second opinion. Second opinion confirmed that an alteration was called for.
So off he trolled to the shop and argued his corner. They argued right back: difficult, it happens but looks fine sir, we can't guarantee ... He insisted so they said come back tomorrow evening.
He went back as arranged and they told him they had lost the trousers to the suit and because of that hadn't done the work on the jacket. They went through the motions of trying to hunt down the trousers but to no avail. Would sir like his money back after all, you're going back to England tomorrow aren't you?
Done! He was! They did it!
A fair result all round I think.
DW
A year or two ago I carried out a simple experiment at home. I filled my kettle with exactly the amount of water needed to make my tea/coffee and then monitored the time it took to boil. I then filled the kettle as I used to do, just turned the tap on an guessed the amount and checked the boiling time again.
Suffice it to say that if everyone was as bad as I was and then changed to what I did (sound like a goody two shoes don't I?) they will save £23 a year ... I know, what about a family of 3, 5 ... x; but then again, I am talking about the marginal change.
Multiply that out to 20 million households in the UK and then tell me I don’t deserve the Nobel Peace Prize. After all, Maurice Flanagan, the Executive Vice Chairman of Emirates Airlines has branded Al Gore's film, An Inconvenient Truth, as 'absolute rubbish'. Maurice, read this blog and you'll see I tend to agree.
More than that, Gore tells us all we’re all doomed because of our excesses but then flies around in an executive jet by himself and just a few others. At least I sit cramped in a plane with HUNDREDS of others!
So, send me to Sweden to collect the prize, thank you!
DW
Just reading an article from The Economist and was befuddled by the following ... who thinks like this?
... The US this month established a new Unified Combatant Command (Cocom) dedicated solely to the African continent (excluding Egypt), Africa Command (Africom). Africom is as a sub-unified command under the US European Command (Eucom) in Stuttgart, Germany ... Previously, Africa had been split between three Cocoms: Eucom, Central Command (Centcom); and Pacific Command (Pacom) ... Reactions to the announcement of Africom have been somewhat mixed ... the US Agency for International Development (USAID), non-governmental organisations (NGOs) and charities.
... in late 2001 to establish the operations of the Combined Joint Task Force: Horn of Africa (CJTF-HOA) ... In 2003 the US announced funding of US$100m for the East Africa Counterterrorism Initiative (EACTI) to provide anti-terrorist equipment and training for ... In 2005 the PSI was transformed into the Trans Sahara Counter-Terrorism Initiative (TSCTI) ... The initiative is run by the US Naval Forces Europe (US Naveur) and involves ...
http://www.economist.com/daily/news/displaystory.cfm?story_id=10054460
Who thinks up and then learns all of these acronyms? Imagine a potential conversation, like this:
Me: Is that CoCom HQ?
Them: No, it's Africom, you've got a wrong number.
Me: OK, then: I need Africom, too, cos you're about to involve EuCom and CentCom in some kind of operational deal with PaCom, financed by USAID and some other NGOs aren't you?
Them: Could be, who wants to know?
Me: Me! I was with JTF-HOA, TSCTI and US Naveur last week ...
For goodness' sake!
DW
I have been walking to work this last week as I mentioned the other day and oh the joys of Shanks' Pony. On a pillar of an office block/shop is a fantastic little sign that says: Backside Parking ... here is a photo of the self same sign. Couldn't wait to tell you about it. Reminds me of the time I was in India and was taken to a jeweller's shop. As he was trying to sell me some of his best he proudly told me that he had "300 jewellers in his backside". I kid you not.
Not the same, but went to a restaurant the other day with some fellow Brits and a couple of non Brits ... one of the non Brits was so pleased with his choice of food that he offered to share it with the rest of us. He said, "It's really quite good." No one had the heart to tell him that in English English being QUITE good isn't necessarily much of a compliment.
DW
In the other hotel this week, the one I've been working in rather than living in, I went into the restaurant for Breakfast and as I was about to sit down I saw Dr Chan Young Bang sitting at the next table with his family.
Dr Bang is one of Kazakhstan's most famous Korean residents as he was economic advisor to President Nazarbaev for a while and has been President of KIMEP essentially since it started.
We exchanged pleasantries a couple of times which was nice.
Small world isn't it?
DW
OK, last of my walking across Dubai stories. At a cross roads at the end of the City Centre building I was walking towards a couple of young men who were wearing black uniforms, pocket badges and with things hanging from their belts. I thought, hmm, special forces ... be careful lad ... then when I got close enough I was able to read their badges: Starbucks Coffee.
How can you credit something like that?
DW
One said, Swedish, what language are you speaking.
Funny! We all laughed!
DW
I am working half an hour or so's walk across Dubai from my hotel.
Day one took half an hour and aching feet. Day two took a BIT less time and slightly aching feet ... changed my route a BIT Day three, wore trainers (and a suit and tie!!) no aching feet, took 25 minutes to go and 23 minutes to get back.
Yes!
DW
The UK
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DW
Anyone can comment on the BBC's views and on my own ... but not anonymously!
DW
--oo0oo--
Dear Mr Williamson
Thank you for your e-mail which was forwarded to this department for reply.
I understand that you feel the BBC are not maintaining high standards of spoken and written English and feel that a number of our presenters are using 'Americanisms'.
The BBC is conscious of the need to maintain high standards of spoken English and pronunciation throughout its broadcasts. However, much of the influence on our lives comes from the United States and some American words and terms have been imported. American forms of pronunciation are preferred by many young people and if widely enough adopted, some eventually become accepted. In the end it is actual usage which decides whether or not a pronunciation is acceptable, whereas a particular pronunciation learned some years ago may not be the only correct form today.
With regards to the issue of bad language being used on Radio 4, if I can explain, BBC Radio does not operate a watershed policy in the same way as television. Our research shows that the number of children or young people listening to Radio 2, 3 and 4 is so minimal as to hardly register. Radio 1 and Radio Five Live's popularity with younger listeners brings with it special responsibility which the stations take very seriously.
We try to provide programmes of adult interest at times most convenient for a general audience without imposing unnecessary restrictions on writers and artists. This is a difficult area of judgement. We are guided by our experience of public reaction and our understanding of the kind of audiences drawn to particular programmes. The constant feedback from our audiences helps us know what material is and is not acceptable to them.
Again, I do appreciate that you deep concerns regarding the standards of spoken English across our networks and I can assure you Mr Williamson that we have registered your comments on our audience log. This is the internal report of audience feedback which we compile daily for all programme makers and commissioning executives within the BBC, and also their senior management. It ensures that your points, and all other comments we receive, are circulated and considered across the BBC.
Thank you once again for taking the trouble to contact us.
Regards
RC BBC Information
--oo0oo--
Dear R,
I wonder on what basis you are able to assert that young people prefer American pronunciation to some words and phrases? I also wonder why you think that the BBC should lie down and die on this matter.
I have had debates before, as have thousands of us I don't doubt, along these lines. No one is saying that what was good in the 1950s is bound to be good today. However, I find it really cheapening to listen to people who are clearly well educated and articulate speaking in the way they now do.
I would also like the official policy from the BBC on why they are prepared to accept Americanisms that emanate from an uneducated stratum of American society? As an example, just consider the use of prepositions by Americans: the BBC is now adopting wholesale that some prepositions are superfluous so can be abandoned. I know many educated Americans and they continue to use their prepositions properly.
Similarly, there has been a major trend to the abandonment of the definite and indefinite article both in speech and in writing: why have you allowed this to happen?
Are you really telling me that your reporters and editors are monitoring poorly educated people both in the USA and the UK and are then satisfied that we all should talk like them? If you are that is dreadful. If you aren't then I don't understand what you are saying. You might not be aware of it but the part of your response relating to swearing begins with one of the Americanisms that grates on me, "With regards to the issue of bad language ..." Why did you not say "With regard to the issue of bad language ..." as you should have?
I first raised the matter of swearing on Radio 4 a few years ago and received the same, to my mind astonishing, response: that virtually every listener to Radio 4 is an adult, so swear away. Again, is this editorial policy now? Are you telling me that swearing is no longer an issue for you?
I can't even write the word that they used on the Laurie Taylor programme I referred to in my previous message because it is so offensive yet it was used in the middle of the day and yet far from being a prude I was really saddened to hear it.
I wonder what you mean by "... unnecessary restrictions on writers and artists ..." Is it really felt to be the case that simply because an author or a presenter wants to use a swear word that they must?
Finally, you are seeming to assume that simply because your audience comprises almost entirely of adults that any swearing is acceptable. That's the astonishing part. You might tell me next to switch off the radio if I don't like the swearing: hardly a mature argument; but I have heard it. I like Radio 4 and you already know that I listen to it almost all day and almost every day and I don't see why anyone feels the need to impose swearing on me when it is absolutely unnecessary. If there were no swearing at all, no one would notice. No one would tell you that you ought to put some swearing into a play because a gangster is bound to swear ... it's just a ludicrous argument.
I think the BBC should be at the forefront of standards in all aspects of its work: upholding good standards of grammar and pronunciation as well as refusing to stoop to profanities.
Best wishes
Duncan Williamson
There was an excellent article in yesterday's Gulf News on deafness. Anyone with a child who owns an iPod or similar will appreciate that not only is the UK heading for an obesity nightmare but these obese people of the future are also likely to be deaf or very hard of hearing well before the time that nature turns down the hearing volume for them.
I had a run in with young Master W a few years ago when I heard him playing his iPod at what I thought was an excessive volume level. I discussed noise, excessive noise and deafness with him and advised him that if he didn't adjust the noise level I would help him! Needless to say, a few days later I checked again and the volume was still turned up to far too high a level. I then sequestered the offending iPod for a few days to try to make the lad consider what he was probably doing to himself.
The lad told his mother after a couple of days that he NEEDED his iPod and asked her if she would return it to him. I had it with me in the car so she didn't know where it was!
I think the message in that case went unheeded but I said and did, as all parents should do, what I needed to say and do. I told him that I couldn't stop him damaging his hearing and I would do my best to help but at the end of the day, these iPod type things are dangerous and every parent has the duty to do their best to help their children in this respect.
Now though there is another worry on this front which is the advent of these noise reducing head phones. Try them and what you find is that virtually the only noise you can hear is what is coming from the iPod: all background noise is virtually eliminated. One way they do that is by having the ear pieces fitting very tightly into the opening of the ear canal. Now, couple noise reduction with too high a volume and I think the deafness problem can only get worse.
It might be seen as nannyism but parents and other adults in charge of children do have the duty of care and if that means that children need to be taught to think carefully about their actions then so be it: you've got to do it!
DW
To David Cameron, Leader of the Conservative Party and Leader of HM Opposition
Dear Mr Cameron,
The European Treaty
I can see no point whatsoever in your campaign re the European Treaty for a couple of reasons:
1 No one will fall for the tactic that the Prime Minister is failing to keep a promise
2 Someone is either lying to us or doesn't understand the Treaty
1 That is my personal assessment and you are free to disagree with it but I think you are wasting your time. If I were you I would move on to something much better than this. Europe has dragged down your Party before and it will do so again if you want it to.
2 William Hague was recently interviewed on Radio 4 and said that the new Treaty will mean a permanent European President. A fellow interviewee, a government Minister whose name I have forgotten, corrected Mr Hague by pointing out that whilst there is a provision for a European President, such a Presidency is for a two and a half year term, albeit potentially renewable. The current six monthly revolving Presidency is to be scrapped, as you are doubtless aware.
You repeated that misinformation on BBC Breakfast the other day: that there is to be a permanent Presidency.
Are you deliberately trying to mislead us or do you and William Hague really not understand what the Treaty says on the matter of the Presidency?
Borrowing Ideas
I pointed out to you the other day the results of some research by IBM to the effect that 20% of all innovations implemented by commercial organisations come from their competitors. Whilst you did not respond to that message, let me inform you that Virgin Atlantic has just let it be known that their idea for a 'drive through' service whereby their first class passengers go from airport door to aircraft door in 10 minutes, was essentially 'borrowed' from McDonald's the fast food chain. I don't hear anyone from McDonald's crying foul, do you? To what extent are you now changing your stance on the possible borrowing of your ideas by competitor Parties. After all, George Osborne is still desperately trying to take credit for much of the Chancellor of the Exchequer’s recent pre budget ideas.
Yours sincerely
Duncan williamson
Cc Duncan’s Diurnal Diatribe Blog
You may agree with none, some or all of what you are about to read. My motivation to write this letter has come from the news today that the Chairman of the BBC is to present to the BBC Trust his plans for saving £2 billion of BBC costs. I then went to find out what the BBC Trust is as it said in the news today that they represent the BBC's viewers and listeners. As a result of what I found, I then wrote this:
My complaint/suggestion relates to the following two aims of the BBC Trust and how I think the Trust is failing in this respect:
We aim to ensure
...
· that the BBC's management delivers public value by providing distinctive services of the highest quality to all the people and all the communities across the United Kingdom
· that the BBC contributes to the standing of the United Kingdom in the world, to the economy and to British culture
I am becoming more and more worried by the quality of written and spoken English on the BBC now. A simple but good example of the kind of problem I am referring to is on this Contact us page that I am on now. I am instructed to "... fill OUT the form below ..."
All news readers now speak AmerEnglish. The Alan Sugar version of the Apprentice had a screen for a while which said "Your fired". Right now, glitches, upcoming and even neither ... or. It's not difficult to hear something like this, "It's about English language, it's about standards, it's about AmerEnglish." What utter rubbish. All these and many more AmerEnglish constructions have come into use on an every day basis now.
My complaint, then, is that the Trust is not ensuring that BBC programmes are of the highest quality and that the BBC is now beginning to fail to contribute to British culture.
I don't want anyone to tell me that English has developed and is developing otherwise we would merely grunt and not speak because I know that. I also know that many of the constructions that are being used now are blind imports from across the Atlantic. I worry that of all the cuts that are being made across the BBC, one major area where they are being made is in editorial departments. How else can we account for the change from the BBC being a bastion of English language correctness to being a place where the language of the street can happily be welcomed?
Further evidence for my argument can be found on the language used on Radio 4 now. I can't even type what we can hear now because you would accuse me of being offensive. However, there was a Laurie Taylor programme on Radio 4 last week that played a clip that included the word f***ing. In the middle of the day now I can here such awful language. Why wasn't it bleeped out? Moreover, plays and comedy programmes readily include swear words now. Words that are still really offensive for polite society are now freely used.
I don't want anyone to tell me that I can always reach for the off switch if I don't like the language used. Excuse me, but what about your aim that includes delivering the highest quality? I was brought up on Radio 4 and it is my radio station of choice. I work from home for much of my time and Radio 4 is on in the background almost all day every day. Why should I be forced to switch off something that is so deeply ingrained in me and that is, on balance, excellent in all other respects?
Your failure to uphold the standards of language is a major failing in my opinion and I would like some reassurance and then action in this respect.
Yours faithfully
DW
Here's someone else who had a bad bmi experience: their staff even admit that the company is incompetent so I wonder when I will get my money back? How do these people keep their licences?
DW
--oo0oo--
Comments
The following is a long letter which my girlfriend is sending to BMI after the poor service she received. Long, but worth the read! I am writing to register a complaint about the service or lack thereof which I received from your company during a recent visit to the United Kingdom. I am an American and my boyfriend lives in the UK. Planning visits and saving money to fly across the Atlantic is difficult at the best of times but the experience I have just endured with your airline has left me incredibly disappointed and upset.
The following is an account of the dealings between BMI British Midland and myself during and indeed after my trip to the UK:
June 22 – Arrived at Manchester after having missed my connection at Heathrow due to being delayed from Washington on Virgin Atlantic. I was informed that my bags did not get transferred to the BMI flight in London and that they had not arrived. I was informed that they would be delivered to my boyfriends address when they arrived.
11pm my bags arrived by courier as promised.
July 6 - Checked in with BMI at Manchester over two hours before takeoff time. Both bags were tagged and I was assured they would be checked all the way through to Washington.
Arrived at Dulles airport in Washington and was called to Virgin Atlantic desk. I was told my bags were not put on the plane in London and that they would be arriving the next day. I was told to leave the keys to my bags’ padlocks with Virgin Atlantic’s Sophie Ramsey.
July 7- I received a call saying that only one of my bags was sent. It arrived late that night.
July 8- I left two messages with Virgin Atlantic at Dulles inquiring about the location of the second and most important bag containing presents, photographs not to mention thousands of dollars worth of clothing) Both messages went unanswered.
July 9- I called Virgin Atlantic again and a woman named Sara called me back. She said she had been sending messages to BMI about my bag and would tag it “urgent.” She told me the airlines would look for it for 10 days and then I would need to make a claim. I listed several things I had in my bag in case it had been torn open or the address tags had been ripped off.
July 10- My boyfriend called Manchester and they said they had no trace of my bag and no record of any problem. However at midnight, my bag showed up at 28 Fairlea Road in Huddersfield, England. This is my boyfriend’s address, which I left with BMI two weeks earlier when I arrived in England and my bags were lost the first time.
July 11- My boyfriend called BMI the next day and told them I was in the US and BMI claimed they didn’t know I left the country. My boyfriend called BMI and was told that the bag would be collected by courier that afternoon and would be put on the direct BMI Manchester-Washington flight the next day. The courier arrived almost 6 hours later than promised by BMI staff, even after two more calls to Manchester by my boyfriend.
I called Sophie Ramsey at Virgin Atlantic to find out if BMI had been in touch since we at least now knew what was supposed to be happening…and she hadn’t heard anything back from BMI. She didn’t even know my bag had turned up where I had stayed in England. Sophie told me she would meet the BMI flight with my keys the next day if she received confirmation the next day from BMI in Manchester.
July12- I received no call confirming that my bag had been on BMI’s flight and I never received my bag. I left a message on Virgin Atlantic’s machine again.
Meanwhile my boyfriend called BMI in Manchester three more times speaking to several people among them Linda and Dorothy, none of whom seemed to have much control over the so called courier who had supposedly picked up my bag the previous day. All they could say is that to their knowledge my bag had NOT arrived at Manchester and to let them look into it. He calls back later speaks to a less than friendly woman who says he needs to call back the next day to speak to Dorothy or Linda. She looks in her computer and says that it says my bag was picked up on July 11 at the house I stayed at in England but that it doesn’t say my bag even got back to Manchester Airport. Not only were my bags lost both ways of my journey but they were also lost on the road between Huddersfield and Manchester. I was furious. My calls to Manchester went unanswered.
The BMI staff at Manchester told my boyfriend they would call to let him know if and when they found my bag. He asked that they do their utmost to get the bag, providing it showed up at the airport onto the Washington flight the next day (another 24 hours without my belongings, gifts and personal effects bringing the total to a week!)
July 13- Sophie Ramsey called back saying she still had heard nothing from BMI and as far as she knew, my bag was not on that plane. I called BMI Customer Service and spoke to a woman named Amanda. As she began to understand the situation, she looked for my file on the world trace report. Amanda told me Virgin Atlantic was doing as much as they could but she said, and I quote “BMI is incompetent and I’m saying this because it is true. Somebody is not doing their job.” Amanda said the last thing on the World Trace Report was Sophie Ramsey’s message asking about my bag being on the BMI direct flight. It went unanswered by BMI. Amanda told me she would be calling Manchester and leaving more urgent messages.
Late July 13- I return home to find a note on my door saying that my duffel bag was at my next-door neighbor’s. I collected my bag only to find that my keys were not delivered to me and as a result, I could not even open the bag I had been missing for a week. I left a message at Virgin Atlantic asking for my keys to be delivered the following day- a trip that would not be necessary if BMI had bothered to communicate with Virgin Atlantic at all.
July 17- Amanda, from BMI customer service, called and said that she finally got into contact with BMI in Manchester and my bag would be on a plane. I told her my bag had already arrived.
For the amount of money I paid for my ticket with BMI and Virgin, I am shocked and appalled at the baggage service I received or in this case, didn’t really receive at all. On the way there (June 21), my Virgin Atlantic flight was late leaving from Washington Dulles so I missed my connecting flight in London. When I got to Manchester I was told my bags would turn up. After a couple of calls, my bag turned up late that night. On the flight back (July 6), I was called to the Virgin Atlantic desk and told both my bags didn’t make the London-Dulles flight. And so began my nightmare with BMI’s baggage services.
What is most disturbing is that BMI checked me onto their Friday morning flight to London Heathrow and assured me that my bags were checked all the way through to Washington-Dulles yet they claimed they had no idea I left the country so they pulled an address off a baggage claim from weeks earlier and sent my bags back there. No one looked on their computers, no one responded to Virgin Atlantic’s messages; no one did their job. None of this would have happened if BMI had performed their duties in a competent manner from the beginning. The US Postal Service and Royal Mail could have delivered my bag more efficiently than BMI and to think we trust BMI to take people to their correct destinations.
Because of my boyfriend living in the UK, we both make frequent trips across the Atlantic and up until now, were both quite happy to fly with BMI and/or Virgin. Unfortunately, I am now weary of the services both airlines boast. I know that bags get lost every now and then and I can even accept the unlikely circumstances in which I found myself, my bags having been misplaced on both outward and return journeys. But what shocks me the most is the lack of communication between airline staff and to their customers that is essential to transport passengers and their belongings from country to country.
I find it ludicrous that a world-class airline can be so continuously inept when carrying out a duty that should be second nature…and the fact that even your own staff admit to customers that the company is “incompetent” does not say very much for the standing of your organization as a whole.
I would ask you to look into my complaint as a matter of utmost urgency. I feel that some form of compensation as a gesture of good will is the very least I can expect from you. I sincerely hope that you do your best to try to restore some of my faith in your airline. Until that time myself, my boyfriend and anyone else we warn will, I’m sure give BMI British Midland a wide berth. It’s not enough to repaint your planes and offer seat-back TVs…customer service should be number one priority; it is the grass roots of good business as I am confident I do not have to tell you.
I look forward with anticipation to your prompt attention to this matter and a reply.
Yours truly,
Caitlin E M
There follows the text of the letter I have just sent to Sir Michael Bishop, chairman of and major shareholder in BMI, British Midland plc.
Dear Sir Michael,
I am finding it very difficult to believe that someone with your reputation and level of success could lead a business that can so badly mismanage the loss of a customer’s possessions.
The reference I have quoted above is the reference I was given at Manchester Airport over a month ago following the loss of my luggage whilst flying with BMI from Heathrow to Manchester.
I have filled in your forms and have been patient. I have tried to contact your organisation in a bid to understand why I have heard nothing from you and why you are failing to settle my claim. Every single fax, letter and email message has gone unanswered. I have even started a dialogue with the Air Transport User’s Council in my bid to understand what you are going to do to reimburse me for my loss.
Your airline has lost 11 made to measure business shirts, a made to measure suit with spare trousers, a made to measure blazer, an expensive pair of shoes and a lot more. The replacement cost of my possessions is £1,800. I travel on business quite a bit and have made one short trip since you lost my possessions. At the end of next week I am going on a much longer trip and as yet you have done nothing to reimburse me for my loss.
I feel that four and a half weeks is far too long for your organisation to rectify a loss that took you less than an hour to cause. I can only hope that you will now do the decent thing and begin an investigation into this matter. In the meantime I leave on my next trip on Friday 19th October and the least you can do is to ensure that I have something to wear and something to carry it in.
Yours sincerely
DW
