21.1.10

Read that Graph CAREFULLY

Everyone here knows that I find it difficult to respect a man who feels able to spend $1,600,000,000 on his own job interview expenses but even Obama needs some protection from the badly drawn graphs and charts. Even the Financial Times can get it wrong!

Here is a graph cut and pasted from yesterday's Financial Times:

obama_rate_wrong

How about the corrected version where the vertical axis is NOT chopped off just below the half way point ... no such a drastic change over the year is it?

obama_rate_better_mega

This post was also uploaded to Duncan's Diacritical Discussion

DW

Online Scam Artists

A genuine and honest friend suggested a long time ago that we keep in touch via one of those social networking sites. So I joined. Nothing happened for a long time and me and the friend used the site now and again.

Recently, the volume of messages has increased and I have been getting messages from well known scam artists: they are usually in the Philippines or Ghana.

This evening a young man said he loved me and wanted to call me honey. I went along with it and as I expected he told me he was a student but his exams, yawn, were next week. Oh and misery me he didn't have any money for his fees. Yawn, yaaaaawwwn.

I asked him how much and he told me. So I suggested I pay for the whole term: hang it, make sure he doesn't suffer. It was four times what he asked for and when he asked me if I was sure I said it would be my pleasure!

He turned his cam on and he was half naked (top half!) and I asked him to do a bit of a dance for me and he did. Entertaining stuff and it showed that at least he was prepared to work for his money a little bit.

I stopped chatting to him and deleted him from my list immediately.

Don't fall for these lies. They are not students, they are not going to take an exam and they are not anything remotely resembling what they say they are.

Clown and of course he isn't going to get any money from me!

DW

20.1.10

JK Rowling known everywhere!

I am living and working in rather a remote place at the moment but this conversation took place this morning.

The decorators are in and one of them asked me, Are you British?

I said, Yes I am

He replied, I knew it. I knew you were British because you sound like Harry Potter!

I said, You'd better be careful and pretended to cast a spell in his direction. He then asked where my magic wand was!!

Great fun!

DW

19.1.10

Everything comes to he who waits!

Forty years ago? Fifty years ago? I can't remember but I do know one thing, I used to listen to a short piece of music on the radio and have longed to know what it was called ...

I THINK it used to precede the Today programme on Radio 4 all of those years ago. It doesn't last long. However, how does one hum or tra la a piece of music when one has no musical talent at all? If I tried to explain the piece of music to anyone they would walk away from me thinking that all plots had been lost.

Well, here I am minding my own business and letting my iPod meander down my 1,308 songs and tunes and when it got to this piece, I had to write and tell you Eureka:

Badinerie from Orchestral Suite No 2 in B Minor by JS Bach

THIS is the piece I fell in love with all those years ago and I recommend you find and listen to it now.

DW

10.1.10

Have YOU ever seen an Aeroplane with a Bathroom?

Apart from that aeroplane in the OLD Imperial Leather soap advert, that is.

This is the text of a feedback message I have just sent to the Mail Online:

I just read the story here http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1241773/Armed-police-storm-plane-Heathrow-Airport-security-threat-board.html and in that story they talk about airlines closing bathrooms on their aeroplanes and I was puzzled

Even when they are in the sky, some passengers have been told to remain seated for the final hour of flight time, with no access to the bathroom or overhead lockers and nothing on their laps, including blankets or pillows.

I am a very frequent flyer and fly on all sorts and sizes of aeroplanes and, to be perfectly frank, I have yet to see a bathroom on any commercial flight. I have even been on the Airbus A380 with Emirates, in business class, but even then there was no bathroom.

Please let me know where I can find a flight with a bathroom as I'd like to fly on it and use the bath: it would be a first for me!

DW

9.1.10

Follow your own advice laddie

I wish I had!

Just before he set off on a monster trip of the Far East, my nephew asked me for some advice. He wanted to know the best strategy for foreign exchange for his trip: he asked about taking dollars, traveller's cheques and so on. I told him, whatever you do DO NOT get your currency here in the UK.

As I was leaving Dubai I checked the rates there as I had a little bit of foreign currency with me. Why oh why did I not follow my own advice? I ran out of time and opportunity to change my money in the end although I did change a little bet at Dubai International Airport. The rate there was a bit worse than I would have got in town but I changed it.

Anyway, when I got to the bank here at home I found their rate was £:$ of 1.74 ... in Dubai the rate at the time I SHOULD have changed my money was £:$ 1.61.

Just imagine I was changing $1,000 ... in Dubai I would have got £621, here in Halifax I would have got £575, a difference of £46.

Don't do what I do, do what I say! What a clot I am!!

DW

Daisy, Daiseeeee ...

I find the gross over use of the word amazing extremely irritating and here is the latest.

On Radio 4 this morning there was an article on a woman called Daisy. I didn't hear the start of that article but the only thing missing from Daisy's persona was a speech impediment: that would have been a nap hand!!

Daisy seems to be someone who pans for gold in rivers. She was married in the highlands of Scotland in a place where all of her guests, fellow panners, could pan for gold the day after the wedding. Good for them.

BUT I heard Daisy saying that many people in Scotland panned for gold a couple of centuries or so ago and then some of that gold ended up in the crown jewels of some Jock King. Daisy said with rising, excited, inflection, that incorporating that gold in that King's baubles was amazing! Why on earth was that amazing Daisy?

People pan for gold. People find gold. People do various things with the gold they have found such as

  • sell it
  • keep it for themselves
  • turn it into jewellery

NONE of those objectives is amazing.

I don't suppose Daisy will read this and I don't want to write and ask her what was so amazing because she will undoubtedly write back in a bilious manner.

Here is a picture of Daisy I have just created:

daisy_2

Eeesh! New programme now and the very first guest said that even walking round her garden when it is covered in snow is amazing. WHY is it amazing?

From www.dictionary.com:

  • a⋅maze –verb (used with object)

  • 1 to overwhelm with surprise or sudden wonder; astonish greatly.
  • 2 Obsolete. to bewilder; perplex.
  • –verb (used without object)
  • 3 to cause amazement: a new art show that delights and amazes.

DW

8.1.10

Don't Even Like Kids!!

I was walking down the road this afternoon when a couple of boys on the opposite side of the road threw a snowball at a man about 50 yards in front of me. He turned round and looked at bit angry so I pointed over the road and snitched on the kids!

He let me catch up to him. I said there were two boys thinking they were clever ... he said, kids, never liked 'em!

Having noticed that he was wearing hiking boots, winter clobber and was carrying a ski pole, I said he looked set up for a long walk. In rather a dejected voice he replied that he was killing time! I asked, what does that mean? He said he was supposed to be going home to Penzance but his wife had broken her ankle. He said they were out in the snow yesterday and as his wife came towards him, she went over on her ankle and it broke!

I asked if she was in hospital and he said it needs pinning but they can't do it before Saturday and they're stuck here for another two weeks.

As we got to my bus stop we parted and I wished him well and he wished me a happy new year!

Nice chat all brought on when two boys threw a snowball at a complete stranger!

DW

6.1.10

Ed Balls and Michael Gove ... where are you?

In October, before I went on a two and a half month trip away from home, I wrote to Ed Balls and Michael Gove in relation to the cheating and corruption inherent in the GCSE and A Level Examinations system.

Balls is the Minister responsible for education and Gove is his Tory shadow.

The problem I have been campaigning on for a few years is a real one and I have presented a lot of hard facts and evidence of cheating and corruption and yet two MPs and various civil servants have been happy to turn a blind eye to what is happening. I have even been threatened with legal action by one Examinations Board who then had to slink away from their position when they realised they had tried far too hard to bully me into silence.

These wretched people who are presiding over this abuse of position and privilege have to be hounded out of office and in the case of Gove, prevented from getting into office. Neither of them has replied to my letters.

I need a Tiananmen Square moment to get these people out into the open and this corruption solved and stopped.

DW

Liar Liar

The great thing about the internet and living in the UK is that I can say what I want, within the law and within the realms of decency, truth and so on.

Let me note that the Tories have openly admitted that they have started their general election campaign. We were treated on day one to the sight of a number of ne'er do well Tory politicians trawling the country as they seek to persuade us that we should vote for them.

The film Liar Liar sprung to mind: we should all watch that film again with the general election in mind.

I like the idea of the three week general election campaign and really resent the Tories, or anyone for that matter, deciding that we need to suffer their perorations longer than that. The two YEAR Obama campaign was far too much to suffer and we don't need that here.

DW

Cluedo? Clueless more like!!

So Dima and I settled down to play a game of Cluedo last night. Neither of us remembered how to play so we read the rules and set off.

We set up the board, the cards and the characters and although we didn't initially follow the rules properly we soon got up to speed.

In the end Dima decided he had all the evidence he needed so he said he wanted to make his accusations:

  • the rope
  • the kitchen
  • Miss Scarlett

OK, we turned over the cards in the centre of the board:

  • the rope ... good!
  • the kitchen ... very good!
  • the dagger ... Doh!

How did that happen? I have to confess that I had sorted out and selected the three cards to go in the middle!

Clot

DW

1.1.10

New Year Two

I went to a “fab” new year’s eve do last night. After a good meal, walk and chat with a friend I ended up at the Music Room in the Majestic Hotel in Dubai. The first thing that struck me was the average age of the men there and then I spotted that the average age of their companions was a quantum leap lower: an ethnic group removed too!! Good for everyone if it spreads peace and happiness in the world.

Then there was a live group on stage. I can’t begin to tell you the genre of the group except that it wasn’t bee bop, gospel, rap or anything like that. It was LOUD though. The question entered my mind, however: is it vital for the performance of these singers and musicians to keep their hairstyles in tune with the music? Music from the 60s and 70s and hairstyles from the same era: men from that era too. Men of my age with long hair half way down their backs: ageing guitarists with very long wispy pony tails. Goodness!

One other feature was the lead guitarist who seemed to be English (I think) but who put an American inflection in his voice. Why would one do that I wonder?

As I walked back to the hotel at around 1 am the sound of the music was ringing in my ears. Literally! I was deafened temporarily from the excessive noise these groups pump out. I also stank of cigarette smoke and my clothes still do.

There was another phenomenon that I noticed. People in the room would be walking around or even just standing still when one of their legs seemed to lurch sideways a little, as if the floor under that one foot had slipped into some Stephen Hawking type of space/time discontinuity. Odd that! Kept happening: seemed to be the same people every time too although as time went by, more and more people seemed to find these patches of flooring and tiles! I did notice though, that if one had drunk only soft drinks or hadn’t drunk alcoholic drinks to excess, the floor and one’s legs remained firm. Have I found something new and unusual in the order of the Universe Professor Hawking?

DW

Happy New Year

It's already 01:15 where I am and 2010 has already arrived so it's time to wish everyone who visits this blog a happy new year.

Health, prosperity and happiness to all.

DW


Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

25.12.09

Merry Christmas

Living in hotels and guest houses for so long changes habits and perspectives. So for everyone who comes here let me say Merry Christmas.

Christmas is not guaranteed to be perfect for everyone but it's a chance to be calm, enjoy life at least for a day or two and be with friends and family if possible.

Reflections on the meaning of the festival ought to be a must too.

Merry Christmas everyone.

DW


Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

23.12.09

The Man of Steel!

A few years ago I took part in an online discussion and I mentioned that there were people in the former Soviet Union who revered the memory of Joseph Stalin. Stalin's time was the days when things worked, everyone respected each other ...

I told the truth, I met and worked with people who thought that so it was a matter of fact.

I was then subjected to a torrent of abuse from three or four people. One of them was a student at Oxford University who threatened me with physical violence if ever I was in Oxford. I wrote to him and told him that as I worked in Oxford it is highly likely that we could meet and that unless he withdrew the threat I would take matters further. I got a full apology in writing.

Another student, of English at Durham University, joined the fray saying the most ridiculous things. He burst forth with an entreaty that if I loved communists so much why didn't I go and live with them? When I wrote to him off list and asked him what he was really worried about he told me that what I had said made no sense! Hmm, how does a simple statement of fact expressed in very clear language make no sense?

The third student, a the LSE this time, proudly boasted that as he had worked in an office in Washington USA for two weeks during which time he was reading and dealing with papers from projects being undertaken in Central Asia, he knew I must have been telling lies.

So why did I tell you all of that? Take a look at page six of today's UK edition of the Financial Times newspaper and you will see rather a lengthy parade of "Russian communists queuing to lay flowers at Joseph Stalin's grave in Red Square, Moscow on the 130th anniversary of his birth yesterday." As I said before and can say again, as a matter of fact, there are many people in the former Soviet Union who hold Stalin in high esteem. Just a fact. Just reporting a fact. Not all of the people in that queue are old enough to have lived under Stalin either.

DW

21.12.09

Let's lighten the load a little

The teacher asks his students to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were: the short story had to contain the following three things:

  • Religion
  • Sexuality
  • Mystery

Below is the winning story:

"Good God, I'm pregnant; I wonder who did it."

Whoever wrote that, thanks!

DW

Far be it from me ...

Well I'm shocked! Here I am about to sing the praises of Microsoft. I downloaded and installed Office 2010 Beta version last night and I have to say there are some stunning advances there. I've not had much of a chance to play with everything new but in Excel, of note, there are

  • sparklines
  • data slicer

PowerPoint looks a bit niftier.

Outlook promises things that I haven't explored at all yet and the same with Word.

Worth a look I'd say.

DW

19.12.09

Dear BBC it's Milan not Meelan

I am dreading it! Man Spew have drawn a team from Milan in the European Champions League competition and I know, just know, that for some reason the sports reporters at the BBC will pronounce it MEElan.

I know people from Milan and I have asked them, just how do you pronounce the name? They ALL say Milan ... slight accent on the A and not one of them has said Meelan in the slightest.

Please, please spare us from your nonsense pronunciation.

DW

Terry Wogan Retires: at last!

I've never had much of a kind word to say about Wogan. He never appealed to me I'm afraid. I've just skimmed the headlines of a couple of articles in the Daily Mail and that rag was fulsome in its praise. I found him boring, pointless and condescending. I found his television Parky take off interview programme risible.

I thought he ruined the Eurovision Song Contest by taking it beyond the desperate state it could quite easily have got itself into without his nonsense smart alek remarks. One good thing has come out of Wogan's retirement from this contest: it's 1,000% unwatchable now as that Graham Norton takes over from next year. Eugh!

The bad news? Apparently, even though he's 71 years old, he'll be back next year. Thank goodness I never listen to any station that he's on!

The tin hat on all of this? I believe Wogan charges a fee for appearing on Children in Need. Like that woofter, no he isn't, yes he is, Dale Winton: charging fees for what are essentially charity events. Indefensible.

If you're a Wogan fan, good luck to you!

DW

18.12.09

End of year message

You don't have to be the Queen of England to want to say goodbye to the old and welcome to the new so I've done it as well.

Take a look at http://www.duncanwil.co.uk/old_new/old_new.htm

For web purists, I know there are a few rules being broken by that page: no indication of who I am, no menu or return button, no date although I do name the years ...

Merry Christmas anyway!

DW