Appalling Behaviour on a Newspaper Forum

I have discussed many topics on newspaper forums over the years: The Independent had one then closed it; I subscribed to The Times for a few years and that was a good experience; now I am with The Guardian, new starter. I have paid membership dues to the Guardian because I feel I should but they say many people use their services but don’t pay. No judgement there, that’s how the Guardian manages things. I engaged in my first full blown discussion on the Guardian site last week when I told the assembled horde that Al Gore’s Inconvenient Truth visuals and other parts of his message were wrong or inappropriate. I said that and I believe that: my argument is that his graphs were far too nice to warrant critical review and many of his other ramblings have been challenged: I said that knowing it to be true: youtube contains many videos in which Gore is caught out. Immediately, I was attacked rather forcefully and I have to say that I did call Gore a liar. I defended myself and as the debate wore on, I was called all sorts of names and accused of all sorts of calumny. Then someone said I was a climate change denier. They made that up because I didn’t even infer that let alone say it. Well, that was it: John Samuel claimed to be a weather expert of some kind and he really stuck to that line and in spite of proving no such words came out, he called me a liar many times. Good for him. I even came here to this blog and reminded myself of what I had said about Gore when I had seen his film. I told Samuel that I had blogged about Gore in 2007 and again in 2010 … three references altogether. Since he was being so unfriendy, I suggested he search for my blog to prove for himself the truth of my assertions. He couldn’t find it! Smart as he claimed to be, in spite of clues as to a particular phrase to put into google, it was beyond him. He found an Excel blog and pretended that was the blog I meant. I said no, so he called me a liar again. I then mentioned having read and reviewed State of Fear by Michael Crichton which I said contained many interesting ideas. Samuel replied to tell me how bad the book was and that no one liked or respected it. Climate change denier that I am. You’re getting the picture now: John Samuel who does not know the difference between you’re and your, tells the world that they should not read a book because he does not like it. The reality is that Crichton might have got some of the science wrong but he questioned things and I think that was a very healthy thing to do. As Samuel tried only assassinate my character, others joined in and of course, several of them pointed out their master’s degrees, how they have been peer reviewers for academic journals and what do I know? All the while, these people have assumed that Samuel has identified the truth: he said the same thing so often that the others believed he must be telling the truth. I have seen this before and it is impossible to challenge because everything is subject to gainsay. Samuel was obviously frustrated that I wouldn’t just give him the link to my blog posts so I was branded a liar again but I felt he’s so smart he can ruddy well find it. Moreover, he would clearly have merely said something innappropriate about what I had said so I let it ride. I am sharing this post with him now and even he will then find that I really did make those posts about Gore all of those years ago and that I am not a liar! As that discussion wound down Samuel revealed another two traits: he labelled many people as liars if he didn’t like what they said; and he was obsessed with having the last word. I played the last word game and he played along exactly true to type. If John Samuel is really a scientist I just wonder if his work is ever peer reviewed as he cannot take criticism. He must be very difficult to work with when someone like me turns up and refuses to bow down to him. A very immature bully in my opinion. I decided to write this post since it is a controlled way of sifting out that man’s own lies and exaggerations and at the same time sharing with others just how he behaves in debate. Samuel and others are free to comment here and I will post everything that's not just outright offensive! I made mistakes in my discussions and admitted them: I am not too proud to do that but I will not allow some tiny minded little man to bully me or anyone else into kow towing to him. DW

Put the Bloody Phone Down or it Will Kill you

On our way to replace the driving licence I lost and as we were crossing the road a woman on a motorbike came round the corner and was driving right at me and Abi. The stupid woman was reading something on her phone as she rounded the corner and had not seen us.

I was ready to fend her off but she looked up, saw us and avoided us. I said to her, Watch where you're going and put your phone down!

How stupid and how dangerous that woman is.

Multi worksheet scenario model

Tuesday 25th October

This is on its way ... as promised ... I will upload it later today or early tomorrow.

Duncan Williamson

The Charge of the Light Brigade

As I was travelling across country by bus today I thought about Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem The Charge of the Light Brigade. I went and found it, read it and then created a voice file of a professional actor reading it out loud. The professional actor is me! Unfortunately I can't upload the voice file here ... I will find a way. The Charge of the Light Brigade Half a league half a league, Half a league onward, All in the valley of Death Rode the six hundred: 'Forward, the Light Brigade! Charge for the guns' he said: Into the valley of Death Rode the six hundred. 'Forward, the Light Brigade!' Was there a man dismay'd ? Not tho' the soldier knew Some one had blunder'd: Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do & die, Into the valley of Death Rode the six hundred. Cannon to right of them, Cannon to left of them, Cannon in front of them Volley'd and thunder'd; Storm'd at with shot and shell, Boldly they rode and well, Into the jaws of Death, Into the mouth of Hell Rode the six hundred. Flash'd all their sabres bare, Flash'd as they turn'd in air Sabring the gunners there, Charging an army while All the world wonder'd: Plunged in the battery-smoke Right thro' the line they broke; Cossack and Russian Reel'd from the sabre-stroke, Shatter'd and sunder'd. Then they rode back, but not Not the six hundred. Cannon to right of them, Cannon to left of them, Cannon behind them Volley'd and thunder'd; Storm'd at with shot and shell, While horse and hero fell, They that had fought so well Came thro' the jaws of Death, Back from the mouth of Hell, All that was left of them, Left of six hundred. When can their glory fade? O the wild charge they made! All the world wonder'd. Honour the charge they made! Honour the Light Brigade, Noble six hundred

Can I automate the functions found in the 'analysis ToolPak' in Microsoft Excel?

Someone asked this question in Quora and here is my answer which I think many of you will find useful:

If you use Excel on a Mac the chances are that you are not running Excel 2016 for the Mac and that your Mac does not have the ToolPak at all … I know, older versions have it and I know you can get alternatives!

In that case, I often demonstrate to Mac users how to create and automate the functions in the ToolPak: correlation matrix, regression analysis, moving averages, descriptive statistics … the others as well!

Descriptive statistics, for example, could be, for data in column A:

=AVERAGE(A:A)

=STDEV(A:A)

=KURT(A:A) …

=SKEW(A:A)

and so on.

Other answers have mentioned statistics software packages and that’s fine except they might not be free! Yes, if you are a student, your college or university is likely to have statistics software free for you to use.

How about R and R Studio, however? Open source, free, with massive amounts of support? Of course, it takes time to learn R but here is the code for some descriptive statistics using the psych package in R:

describe(order_sales_profit$Sales)

That’s it! This is what I get from my current data set, sales values: not exactly the same as the ToolPak but my point is, it is very easy to replicate. Look at the screenshot of the output from R.



By the way, as a novice or beginner level user of Excel, there is a lot to learn from manually automating what’s in the ToolPak. Moreover, if you take my next learning point, use this opportunity to set up templates for you to analyse your data sets: that means, you automate the ToolPak elements once and that is it!

Finally, many elements of the ToolPak return non volatile results which means that if you change your data, you have to run the ToolPak again. If you automate it yourself, the formulas you create will all be volatile: change the data, change the answers!

Duncan Williamson

I like such photographs

I hope you can see this photo.

DW

Top Tips: rules you really should follow

19th August 2016

I have just completed another very successful Financial Modelling course and as you know, at the end of such courses, I come here and offer something new: a new topic, a new file or some advice. In this case, it is advice: things that you really need to think about when you create and work on any Excel file.

• Tab/Sheet Names


• Links


• Dead Cells 125,433 rows created but only 831 needed/active ... files that balloon to many Mb for no real reason

Ever seen a tab name like this: FBU or OPT? I bet you have: short and sweet and probably mnemonic so easy to read and remember. How about L_P_Obasange_receivables_dont_forget_to PRINT_it_out? You think I am joking? I am serious! Just imagine you are working on your file with the large tab name and you want to link to a cell on that tab from another one: this is what will appear in your formula, by way of an example ... =IFERROR(AND(A15=45,D26="Jack",L_P_Obasange_receivables_dont_forget_to PRINT_it_out!BA154 ...

I am sure you see the point now. Keep tab names short and simple! More than that, if you do feel the need to use tabs to give instructions, colour code them to pass such messages: there are many colours to choose from so do that. Have a table of contents too. Give everyone a chance for a simple life!

Links

If you share a file with someone, make sure any links in your file are either live or delete them. If you receive a file with links that you cannot use or update, you know how frustrating it is. Think of the user before you send linked files.

Dead Cells

It is the easiest thing in the world to create a worksheet and as you work and improve what you are doing, to delete cells and ranges. We all do that. We create new ranges too, don't we! Check your work now and again though and if these happen, take a break and check your file:

• it takes 30 seconds 45 seconds or even longer for the file to open


• what seems like a small file in terms of content and complexity has ballooned in size to 20 or 30 or more Mb


• saving the file takes an age too

If these things happen, go to a worksheet and press Ctrl+End and see where that takes you. You work only in the range A1: CD831 but Ctrl+End has taken you to CG125433 ... what? How did that happen?

Even if there are not as many as an additional 1.8 million cells but just 500,000, look in those cells for formulas  that are trying to find something from somewhere that is not there ... in some of these extra cells for example. Delete all of these extra cells. I did that this week: an extra 1.8 million cells in TWO separate worksheets complete with formulas. File size down from 28 Mb to 0.8 Mb, opening time just seconds, recalculation time hardy noticeable.

They were just some of things to report on from this week. Otherwise, this group of delegates really enjoyed the work and their end of course presentations were interesting and showed that significant learning had taken place!

Duncan Williamson

 

This Week's Delegates

Here they are, the chosen few from my course in Ghana this week.

Good delegates, successful course: financial modelling.

DO

Accra Ghana Spark Page

Just take a look at this very simple Spark Page I have just created.

<a class="asp-embed-link" href="https://spark.adobe.com/page/rdgNxpzgPBQ5R/"><img src="https://spark.adobe.com/page/rdgNxpzgPBQ5R/embed.jpg?buster=0" alt="Accra Ghana" style="width:100%" border="0" />Duncan's Accra Spark Page</a>

I hope you like it.

DW

Boeing 787 ... 3 out of 10

I don't normally talk about aeroplanes and flying but sometimes ... You have probably heard of the Boeing 787 Dreamliner and how marvellous it is. I have just flown on it for the umpteenth time and again I come away wracked! The seats are bone hard and the economy cabin is cramped: they cram us in. For anyone in the first row in any cabin in economy, they have put the TV remote at hip level within the seat AND it's non removable. That means you need to be a contortionist to use it and if you are even slightly on the large side you will not be able to see it let alone use it. I firmly believe that this aeroplane was designed and built by people who never fly in it or never fly economy in it. In my opinion, it's an insult although I know the airlines love it because it runs cheaply compared to other planes. Well, here you are Boeing: 3 out of 10. DW

In the Current Climate

As I was about to get to the passport control desk at DXB, a man in the queue behind me pointed out to one of the staff that there was an unattended bag in the middle of the floor. There was!

The staff member suggested that someone had probably left the bag there as he went round and round the queue system to save having to carry it.

The man responded with. I realise that but no one should leave their bag like that in the current climate.

The man was absolutely right but I loved his use of the phrase, in the current climate!

DW

Fungus is here

These just grew in the garden!

DW

Fascinating Story

Read this story if you can. Very interesting in every way!

The Iraqi who saved Norway from oil - http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/99680a04-92a0-11de-b63b-00144feabdc0.html

Champion Burnley FC

Well done Burnley FC,  promoted to the Premier League for next season. A 23 game unbeaten game run in too.

Let's hear it for the team and for the manager Sean Dyche.

Of course, Burnley has never been a fashionable team so the response of the media to their achievement has been grossly understated.

How to Erect a Pillar Perfectly

They have erected the support pillars for our new venture and they are perfectly vertical.  To get them vertical they used two pieces of string, a plumb line and two bits of wood to adjust them if necessary.

Fantastic skills.

DO

The Start of a new Project

Here is the ceremony to celebrate the start of a new building and a new venture.  The ceremony went well and I hope the project does too.

DW

And She's Off!

Daughter Abi will be 10 months old tomorrow and already she is standing for a short time without holding on. She's also taking steps or trying to.

Good progress

DW

Business Intelligence

Are you interested in using BI? Do you already use it?

Did you know that BI is free to create?

I will be adding some BI resources here this week ... but there are already some here! Take a look at Power Query and Power Pivot for a start.

Back soon and if there's something you want me to write about, let me know.

Duncan Williamson

SUMDIVIDE ... sort of

A delegate asked me today if there was such a function as SUMDIVIDE. There isn't of course, but I found a way to simulate it.

What would SUMDIVIDE do? SUMDIVIDE would have array 1 divided by array 2 and the results then added together: in the same way that SUMPRODUCT multiplies and then adds.

This is how it works: imagine A1:A5 contains array 1 and B1:B5 contains array 2 then the SUMPRODUCT function to divide them will be =SUMPRODUCT(A1:A5,1/B1:B5). Simple, eh? Who'd have thought it would be so simple.

Duncan Williamson

When the TV Doesn't Work

I flew from Bangkok to Dubai last night and even though I have lost my gold status with them, I chose to fly with Emirates. As long as I can I suppose I would always choose to fly with Emirates. I can't use their lounges across the world now and I don't get welcomed onto the plane with a special greeting any more. When something goes wrong on an Emirates flight, I take it personally: I always have and I don't know why. With some service providers, if something goes wrong, I think how typical it is or that I am glad I don't use THEM all of the time. Yesterday, I settled into my seat, said hello to the couple next to me as their 13 month old daughter made herself known to everyone! I started to see what ICE had to offer. I made a few mental notes of what I might watch. Then it turned from ICE to ICE Lite ... the service you get on ICE on a rickety old crate flying to somewhere not so glamorous. Half a dozen films, almost no music, four or five TV programmes and virtually no radio programmes. That is a far cry from the thousands of normal choices. Instead of the ICE home screen I had ICE Lite with Alvin and the Chipmunks as my home screen. I looked around and it seemed to be just my TV that had gone wrong. I asked one of the cabin crew to help me to sort it out. She seemed to understand the problem, took a note of my seat number and went away. The TV stayed with Alvin. I had some things to watch on my iPad so I watched them. Then I saw another cabin crew member and asked him for his help: 2.5 hours to go to Dubai. He looked at the screen and made a call for them to do a full reset of my screen. 10 minutes, he said, is what it would take. I waited 10 minutes as I was wondering if I had time to watch my film of choice. 10 minutes came and went and the screen went black as the handset stayed ICE Lite. I decided to do some work, reading my papers for the coming week then I watched something on my phone this time and with 90 minutes to go I saw on the handset that ICE had come back. I thought at least I could listen to some of my favourite UK Number One Hits. So I opened the screen and started browsing. I found the first of the songs I wanted. Click! Waiting ... waiting ... waiting ... I chose a different song. Click! Waiting ... waiting ... waiting. I left that idea and tried to start a film and as I found the new James Bond, Spectre, Alvin and the Chipmunks came back with their ICE Lite. As far as I could tell this was only my problem. That's why I take these things personally: only me me me! So, a relatively long flight without the possibility of entertainment of any kind is a very old concept isn't it? On other airlines I have been given a DVD player to offset the loss of the TV. In this case, one cabin crew member did something and the other one MIGHT not have: what neither of them did was follow up on my problem. They both left me and didn't return. So, I felt let down by my number one choice of airline. DW

Are you Following me?

Time is just flying by and although I've got so many things to share time is against me.

In addition to this blog you might want to follow me on LinkedIn too ... I don't accept everyone there but if you tell me you subscribe to this blog I guarantee acceptance.

I am working in Dubai this week: presenting a three day course on Financial Modelling and Business Intelligence. Then a two day course on Budgeting and Cost Control.

With my courses you get a tool box of functions and techniques. You also get one to one time with me as I solve your problems ... financial modelling etc! You take away all of my notes and PowerPoint slides as well as all of my fully worked Excel files.

I use real world data in my models and demonstrations. You get full explanations from me. I am also honest: if you ask me something I will give you the right answer, even if it means I have to do further research or ask a friend!

Find out where I am working and what I am doing and who knows, you might even join me one day. Invite me to speak where you are and maybe we can get together that way.

Duncan Williamson

Let me try 23 Mbps!

See my previous story about my wifi connection.

We found out by accident that the router in the sales office of our new wifi provider pumps out 20+ Mbps speeds. I thought, I'd like to see what that's like.

I set my phone to download a 330 Mb video and stood outside the wifi provider's showroom. Nothing. It didn't start!! I waited a while then checked the speed ... very slow at about 1 Mbps.  I thought: ah! It hasn't connected properly yet. I went away for a while and then returned. The same.

Anyway, having checked download speeds again I concluded that the office had not turned on their cable router! So I was using their ordinary system from outside this building.

End of my experiment!

DW

Monopoly Broken

I have been suffering for 18 months or so from a monopolist wifi supplier. Variable connections. Breaks in connections for as long as two weeks. 18 breaks in service in a January alone. February started with the first 6 days dead.

I searched in vain for an alternative all of this time and became most frustrated and angry when I realised that these people were managing my business and private life. I need a decent connection for work and for my relaxation, entertainment and so on.

A friend told us about a router they had bought in Switzerland ... good solution but very expensive to buy. It sowed a seed, though.

Then a chance conversation sent us to a local provider of service who offered 4G pocket routers.  Really? We looked at their brochure and asked questions. While 4G doesn't reach to our village, it will soon.

I thought about it for a while: it would cost us the same as our current provider per month and the pocket router came free!

I said, I want to take the risk: there's a chance that this will be better ... we did it. We came away with the router and some hope.

We got it home and it works. At times we can get speeds of 5 to 6 Mbps. As importantly, after 5 days, service has been unbroken and because it is a pocket router, we can take it with us wherever we go.

I stopped paying for the old service immediately. They are no more.

Since I have been sending the old providers an sms whenever there has been a significant break of service, I said: they will realise something is different when they realise I have stopped texting them!! After all, we didn't tell them we were leaving since they never told us that their service had stopped. I felt no loyalty to them.

After 5 days they asked how things were going and we told them we no longer needed them. They said oh!

Incidentally I used to send tweets to the head office of our old provider: they never replied.

Another case of monopoly madness.

Reward or Retard?

I wrote a long and solidly constructed piece for this post then I lost it, in the spirit of this weekend.

Bottom line: I did a job that should have brought me £0.50 per unit. I have been paid £0.04 per unit. It's a matter of control over channels in the same way that I have no control over the awful broadband connection I suffer from here.

So, shit happens as they say :)

DW

Flat Fish or Flat Cat

The cat you see is scraping some fish off the road for breakfast.

The cat got a whole fish from the rubbish bin and took it there to eat: middle of the road in a car park.

A car came along and as the cat was reluctant to move, the driver very carefully inched the car forward. He didn't see the cat moving out of the way so he reversed the car until he saw the cat again.  The cat had moved out of the way but now it came back.

The driver then drove to the right then the left as he tried to ensure he didn't kill or injure the cat. He was successful: the cat survived!

What the driver did do was to drive over the fish that the cat left on the road. Hence flat fish but not flat cat!

DW

Flat Bread

For some reason I decided I wanted to make some flat bread.  Today I did it!

I didn't have yoghurt so I used milk instead. Otherwise, so simple and they turned out pretty well. I turned one of them into a pizza!!

Look:

Cramp, wifi and a water pump

I was woken this morning by cramps in my left calf. Horrific. Extremely painful. It wouldn't stop. Eventually I was able to move to get out of bed but I cannot remember such a bad attack.

Our wifi is currently broken ... for the EIGHTH time this month. Not bad since it's only 13th January.

Our water pump stopped working this morning too: ants had been crawling through it and shorted it out. It's ok now thankfully.

DW

The Books Are Available Now

My latest two books are now available for sale: Finance for the Non Financial Manager Buy Here Finance for the Non Financial Manager Exercise Book With Solutions Buy Here These two books are crammed with information, techniques, exercises, Excel help and guidance and having read them, you will have learned a huge amount and you will be able to do a huge amount. DW

Biff!

Daughter Abi is 7 months old now and can crawl and stand using furniture. Hooray!

As everyone was getting ready this morning I checked on Abi in the living room: she was standing,  holding on to the settee. She was alone and I thought, she'll be fine. And she was.

After a few minutes I went back in the room to see she had crawled quite a way across the room.

I left her and she started calling so I shouted back for her to follow me. She did. As I waited, I saw her appear in the doorway ... then suddenly ... boof!  Her hand stuck to the floor and as she motioned forward that caused her head to go down instead of along.

She got a temporary fat lip and dented pride.

Otherwise,  all is well!!!

DW

My Kitchen Rules Australia 2014

I would never have heard about this programme if I hadn't taken out a trial for a film/TV etc streaming web site. However, I have heard about it now and I watched about a third of the episodes of the 2014 series and enjoyed them. It's a typical cookery programme in which people talk really big about their cooking skills and then when it comes down to it, they often serve rubbish. I don't say that in a superior way because I do the same at home and have never put myself in the position that these men and women have. Good luck to them that they tried. I liked most of the contestants most of the time: the stars were the Greek twins I think although they didn't win. The couple I came to despise did make it to the final but the good news is they didn't win: Chloe and Kelly, two awful, vindictive, spiteful women who talked big about everything but mostly themselves. They rubbished everybody else and everything else. How they got to the final is a mystery although I have to say in the final they did alright. What really got to me was Kelly's massively artificial, forced smile. In the end, every time she was on the screen I covered her face, I just couldn't bear to see it any more. Well done to Bree May and Jessica Liebich who did win it and they won it in style: with an excellent menu, excellent coordination and excellent technical skills. Good to see. I liked this programme but it is such a big commitment that I am not sure I would watch so many episodes again. I understand they are producing MKR in the UK now or soon and I am sure they will find some of the worst people on the planet to compete in it. Just like they did with Storage Hunters (the UK equivalent of the US programme of a similar name). The people they found for that were squirmingly and stereotypically naff beyond all telling. You can now see what kind of things are on offer on expat TV, can't you. Stuff I would never normally watch in a million years. I have now found much better fare to settle down to, however! DW

New Book: Finance for the Non Financial Manager

I have submitted my manuscript to my publisher now for my latest book: Finance for the Non Financial Manager. This will be book available online at www.bookboon.com and I will post the direct URL once I know what it is: shouldn't be too long. The business model for www.bookboon.com is that some books are free of charge and others have to be paid for: I have no idea which is which as I type this but it will be obvious once it's uploaded. In any case, the books are not expensive. There are special offers too which means that sometimes a premu, paid for book, is suddenly free of charge for a while ... worth watching out for. Remember, my 3 volume set Excel solutions for Accountants has already been on sale at www.bookboon.com since the end of June 2015 and not only is it selling well but the reviews are fantastic! My page on ww.bookboon.com is here: Duncan Williamson Author Happy reading: there are many exercises and Excel files in the package too ... it really is good value! DW

Happy New Year

I know the weather has been bad in lots of places but the Christmas holidays have been and gone now for most people. So as you settle back in at work or college or even at home, here's wishing you a happy new year 2016.

DW

Weather Forecast? Far From it

Before Christmas I called my old friend Malcolm in Halifax for a chat and we talked about this and that,  as usual.

Since he has no real idea of where I am living and what it's like, he asks me questions about all sorts of things, including the weather.

I told him it was winter now, the dry season: it probably won't rain again until April next year, possibly, I said. Oh! He said.

Of course, within two hours of ending the call, we had at least an hour of solid rain here!!!

DW

New Video! -

Turkmenistan

I have arrived in Ashkhabad,  Turkmenistan and first impressions are favourable.

A lot of white marble buildings: new and modern looking. Good roads with lots of nice looking cars.

My trip from the airport to the hotel showed that most cars are Toyota,  BMW, Lexus with a smattering of Lady and Niva.

It's already dark so I will see the lie of the land in more detail in the morning.

DW

New Video! -

three dice

My Queuing Experience

I need someone to study me and my queues. I really am the man in the post office whose queue grinds to a halt while all others move swiftly.

For example, I am at passport control now and just after I joined my queue the woman at the desk in my queue had a problem. The next person had a five minute problem. In the meantime the next queue along that I had intended to join has moved so quickly that the couple who started queuing there at the same time as me are long gone.

I could bore you with more but you really wouldn't believe me!

DW

When is it Time to Apologise to a Fish?

I am sorry my piscatorial friends because I have failed you! We have a 1,300 litre fish tank in the front garden and although it is the rainy season, the water was at about half the level it could be. Last night I decided to top up the tank a little to get some fresh, oxygenated water in there. I forgot I had done that and left the water running. At 2 am the mother in law, who lives next door, heard our water pump going on and on and got out of bed and stopped the water. In the meantime at least two fish died: probably because of the cold. One or two went over the overflow as is their wont when the tank is full. So it is time to apologise to those fish that didn't make it through my inadequacy. I don't know how we wandered around the garden last night, as we did, how we didn't hear the pump because it is just outside our bedroom ... So, really sorry for that! DW

Oil Tanker Problem

Introduction

Last night I was finishing off some work when I came across a problem on a help site: the problem had been posted in December 2014 and hadn't been answered. I realise that 9 months is a long time but I wanted to understand the problem and see if I could provide a solution: I did both!

One of the difficulties with the problem as stated was that the questioner asked for a nested IF solution, He insisted. Other people tried to help him and he duly provided a mock up of his worksheet for us all. Again he talked about a nested IF statement solution and even provided one ... that he freely admitted didn't work.

The problem is this:

• there are two oil storage tanks and oil is first measured by means of a dip stick which is then used to estimate the amount of oil in the tanks


• the oil is stored for days at a time and each day new oil is added


• every now and again, though, the tanks are drained

He said that by taking the differences between opening and closing stocks for each day he can estimate the amount of oil added; and by adding together the results for the two tanks he gets overall additions for a day.

Good!

Then he says the problem comes when the tanks are drained ... his calculation shows a negative result for dranage day!

I translated his graphic into a worksheet and here it is.

The question is: can you solve his problem?



This table starts in B7 and in L11 there is a formula: =E11-E10+H11-H10

That formula is then filled down to the end of the table, day 31 in cell L41

You can see the problem clearly in the second part of the table, day 27 , where they have drained the first tank overnight:



That's it: I solved this problem ... can you? Let me know and I will share my solution. If you ask, you must tell me what you did to try to solve it. No try, no get! ;)

Duncan Williamson

A Hawk for Breakfast in Muscat

I was sitting at my computer at 7:15 this morning when I heard a rap on the window. Since I am on the 7th floor I was intrigued so I got up to take a look and look at what was there. I have never seen a bird like this in the wild before and here it was sitting on my window sill. I was really keen not to worry it so I carefully moved around and made a short video and took some photos with my phone. Then I got my big camera on the job and took the photos you see here. The problem is that between me and the bird was a dirty window which has made the photos a bit grainy. Never mind, one of them looks pretty good in spite of that. The bird saw me, by the way, but it was confident enough to stay with me and it was still there after 20 - 25 minutes as I went for breakfast. By the time I got back to the room it was eating the bird it had caught and that was firmly held in its left claw. Notice the feathers sticking to its beak: from breakfast! DW

VW Beetles

Take a look at these photos: a very smart looking VW Beetle parked in the centre of Bangkok this afternoon. It looks as if the car has been fully restored to its original condition. Just look at the wheels, however. I'm not an expert so cannot comment on the rest. DW

Another Top Tip

It'a long time since I offered a top tip but you might need this one: Before you go try to through the glass French windows onto your patio or balcony make sure they are open first. DW

Free Pizza ... OK, free page that talks about a Pizza!

I have managed to create another page on my revamped web site. It's about the wonders that can unfurl any management accountant who ventures into a kitchen ... Take a look ... http://www.duncanwil.co.uk/manacc_kitch.html DW

Some as big as yer 'ead!

I am in Brunei again and this afternoon I went for a walk. I saw some interesting buildings but didn't take any photos.

I saw some interesting tree/vegetation combinations but didn't take any photos.

I saw the body of a young dead cat and didn't take any photos.

But I had to take photos of the biggest fungi I have ever seen. Take a look. See my size 47 foot to get some idea of how big these fungi are!

DW

It's Back ... www.duncanwil.co.uk

What do I mean it's back? It's been there since July 2001! That was true until about two weeks ago when I deleted the entire site. I decided that it was too hotch potch. I was locked out of it by my site host who couldn't or wouldn't give me the password to let me back in ... so I got rid of all of the old stuff and decided to start again. The home page is there and there is one technical page so far: a page in the Excel section on Sparklines: http://www.duncanwil.co.uk/sparklines.html At this stage I am not sure I've got a grand plan for the site but I am concentrating on getting it to look right first. I want to create a look that is timeless and that if I do change, it will be easy to change site wide. I am using Adobe Muse as my site developer and it's a cracking bit of software I have to say. There are just a couple of niggles with it but generally I like it. One of the key things for me and my site was the navigation panel. That sometimes took as long to update as updating the pages. In Muse that's done automatically. The sitemap is automatic. Organising files and photos is automatic. That's a real bonus for me. Well, there you are. Up to date again! DW

Goodness, it's August Already

Just came back from a trip and my sponsor paid my taxi fare from airport to hotel.

Well, I gave them the receipt for airport to hotel and they doubled it to cover that and the return journey.

Just my luck that this morning's return taxi was a metred car. So, budget was smashed and instead of breaking even, I ended up paying one third of the fares myself.

DW

New Video! -

Schedule for August - November 2015

If you are in the market to be trained in financial modelling and/or International Financial Reporting Standards, take a look at my schedule of public courses for the next few months. I might be coming to a town near you! Just write to me here, comment/respond; and I will refer you to the sponsoring company for details and to get you signed up. Looking forward to seeing you soon! DW

Fran gets Another Honour

Daughter Fran has just been awarded another honour from another UK University ...

Well done again!

DW

Excel Solutions ... book 3

It's here now ... http://bookboon.com/en/excel-solutions-for-accountants-book-3-ebook

DW

The Chaos by Gerard Nolst Trenité

I think this poem is the best poem I know: http://ncf.idallen.com/english.html If you think you know English or you are learning it, this is for you. Gerard Nolst Trenité - The Chaos (1922) Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation, I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse. I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy; Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear; Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer. Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it! Just compare heart, hear and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word. Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written). Made has not the sound of bade, Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid. Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague, But be careful how you speak, Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak , Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir; Woven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe. Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore, Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles, Missiles, similes, reviles. Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining, Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far. From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier, Topsham, brougham, renown, but known, Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone, One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel. Gertrude, German, wind and wind, Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind, Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather. This phonetic labyrinth Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth. Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed, Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul, Peter, petrol and patrol? Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki. Discount, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward, Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK. Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia. Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot, Buoyant, minute, but minute. Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition; Would it tally with my rhyme If I mentioned paradigm? Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy? Cornice, nice, valise, revise, Rabies, but lullabies. Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious, You'll envelop lists, I hope, In a linen envelope. Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit. To abjure, to perjure. Sheik Does not sound like Czech but ache. Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed but vowed. Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover. Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice, Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, penal, and canal, Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal, Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it", But it is not hard to tell Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall. Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion, Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor, Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer. Pussy, hussy and possess, Desert, but desert, address. Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants. Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb, Cow, but Cowper, some and home. "Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor", Making, it is sad but true, In bravado, much ado. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant. Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic. Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close, Paradise, rise, rose, and dose. Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle. Mind! Meandering but mean, Valentine and magazine. And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many, Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier, Tier (one who ties), but tier. Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring? Prison, bison, treasure trove, Treason, hover, cover, cove, Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled. Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw, Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw. Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet; Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon, Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn. Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling. Evil, devil, mezzotint, Mind the z! (A gentle hint.) Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention, Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws, Rhyming with the pronoun yours; Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did, Funny rhymes to unicorn, Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan. No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley. No. Yet Froude compared with proud Is no better than McLeod. But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial, Troll and trolley, realm and ream, Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme. Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh, But you're not supposed to say Piquet rhymes with sobriquet. Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid, How uncouth he, couchant, looked, When for Portsmouth I had booked! Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty, Episodes, antipodes, Acquiesce, and obsequies. Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor, Rather say in accents pure: Nature, stature and mature. Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly, Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan, Wan, sedan and artisan. The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w. Say then these phonetic gems: Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames. Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em- Wait! I've got it: Anthony, Lighten your anxiety. The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it; With and forthwith, one has voice, One has not, you make your choice. Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger. Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, age, Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury, Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth, Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath. Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners Holm you know, but noes, canoes, Puisne, truism, use, to use? Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual, Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height, Put, nut, granite, and unite. Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late, Hint, pint, senate, but sedate. Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific; Tour, but our, dour, succour, four, Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it Bona fide, alibi Gyrate, dowry and awry. Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean, Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion, Rally with ally; yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay! Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver. Never guess-it is not safe, We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf. Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie, Face, but preface, then grimace, Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging; Ear, but earn; and ere and tear Do not rhyme with here but heir. Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan, With the sound of saw and sauce; Also soft, lost, cloth and cross. Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting. Respite, spite, consent, resent. Liable, but Parliament. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen, Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk, Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work. A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper), G of gibbet, gibbon, gist, I of antichrist and grist, Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers. Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll, Polish, Polish, poll and poll. Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky. Won't it make you lose your wits Writing groats and saying "grits"? It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale, Islington, and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father? Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough?? Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP! DW

Excel Solutions ... Volume 2

It's here now ... http://bookboon.com/en/excel-solutions-for-accountants-book-2-ebook

Excel Solutions for Accountants

Book One of a series of three books is now online ... http://bookboon.com/en/excel-solutions-for-accountants-book-1-ebook DW

Abi

Update on Abi ...

She is over two weeks old now and coming along nicely.

She feeds well on mother's milk. She sleeps, wakes and feeds according to norms.

She flails her arms and legs at times, especially when she is hungry. She wears gloves all of the time to prevent scratches and they look a bit funny!

Mrs W expresses some of her milk so that others can feed her from time to time and I fed her for the first time after two weeks. I have fed her a couple of times after that too.

Delightful and good natured girl.

DW

Does my Bum Look Big in This?

I know! Who would do such a thing? Not me but it's the family dog!

DW

Funny Food

I eat local food in all sorts of places but whilst this is not weird it's odd.

Buttered bread with curry sauce. It claimed to be naan bread bit it was far too light for that.

The curry sauce was nice I have to say.

Glutinous rice now!

DW

Jaundice

Like many babies, Abi's got a touch of jaundice so she's undergoing blue light treatment! Another day or so in hospital.

Otherwise she seems to be doing well. Almost back to her birth weight.

DO

Sirinada Abigail Williamson

My second daughter arrived yesterday at 11:40 am local time.

3.36 kg or 7 lbs 6 oz.

Fighting fit and she was born by caesarian section.

Wishing her a long, happy and peaceful life.

Parenthood

A poem what I wrote in anticipation ...

DW

Space Travel

I flew from Kuala Lumpur to Bangkok with EgyptAir last night. In the row behind me was a family that included three children who were all bilingual: English and Arabic. They switched from language to language frequently.

As we sped down the runway, the forward camera was being shown on the television screens and as we lifted off, the airport and city lights were replaced by starlight, almost in an instant.

In a beautiful deadpan voice, the girl behind me said, when she saw the stars, "We're into space?" I wish I'd recorded the moment!

DW

Are you Listening?

I was accused of not listening to someone the other day: someone who called me to deliver a monologue. As I naively believed it should be a dialogue I spoke. I tried it once. Then spoke only when I was asked something.

The other day a manager from the hotel came to talk to me and said I should use trip advisor of agoda to rate their hotel ... good and bad, he said. As we talked, again more of a monologue than a dialogue I said, there are two important things in a hotel ... I told him the first one and as I started to tell him my second one, he was already talking again.

Last night, I was waiting for my suitcase at the airport when a fellow passenger came and started talking.  At first I didn't follow what he was talking about.  I don't think he knew either! Well, it settled down and I learned about the price of his ticket,  his route, his view on various airlines, where he lived, where he worked, the comfort of the plane we had just shared, his accounting department's views on his expenses and more.

I started to offer something of my own.but he started looking around and something behind me caught his eye. I was unwittingly engaged in another monologue. I stopped talking and thankfully my suitcase arrived. We went our separate ways.

DW

I am a Hacker!

This is true:

DW

Coat Hanger Capital

I think Thailand is the coat hanger capital of the world.

This week a new mall opened in town and in one of the shops there were hundreds of coat hangers prominently displayed.

All over Thailand, coat hangers are big business!

DW

Pardon?

So I went to England in March for visa and passport business and I felt cold there. It was cold and I was there for about two weeks.

Towards the end of the trip I got a sore throat: painful but it didn't seem to spread.  Or so I thought.

When I got back home my left ear became blocked and I lost a lot of hearing power in it. I got some antibiotics and took them for a week. Still infected, still deaf.

I saw a doctor who gave me more antibiotics and anti histamines for a week. Still infected, still deaf.

I went to the hospital where the doctor gave me antibiotics and pseudo ephedrine ... for two weeks. Still deaf, still infected.

I came to Brunei and my research told me that all of their doctors are highly trained in Europe,  Australia ... I went to a clinic and was given antibiotics and anti fungal drops. For three days I noticed nothing but then ... ta daa ... big improvement. As I write this,  my hearing is almost back to normal and in two days I can stop the treatment.

My question is: what kind of infection did I get and why?

Happy to be cured.

DW

You like Beetles?

Then take a look at this beauty: the Sugarcane Longhorn Stemborer, long horn borer ... in Latin, DORYSTHENES BUQUETI. Found in our garden in Notth East Thailand this afternoon. The antennae are 4.5 inches across! Which is your favourite? DW

Farewell Meow Meow

This is the cat we called Meow Meow: it came into our lives when it was about two weeks old and was wandering around the fields having been abandoned. So, the family took it in, we fed it, we played with it and looked after it. The dogs liked it and everyone got along. Nice cat. This photo is how it was resting one evening about a year or so ago ... in a funny mood! Tom cats disappear from time to time and so did Meow Meow: for three or even four weeks. We felt he was dead. Then he returned but with a large wound on its chest. Car or dog fight? Who knows but it must have hurt. The wound healed well though and the fur grew back over it. In the meantime, our Ginger tom cat arrived, also a two week old abandoned kitten and we took him in ... Ginger and Meow Meow got on really well: they played and ran and jumped like good young friends do. They both came into our house and we fed them both. After a while Meow Meow disappeared again but when he came back this time, with another wound, in the same place, something had changed. His eyes were vacant. He would wander around crying at times. We still fed him but he wasn't all there. The wound healed again nicely so most things just jogged along. Then Meow Meow and Ginger started fighting: some epic battles with fur and excrement flying: remember the day we accidentally locked them together in our house!! Ginger also disappeared for three weeks and came back very thin: whatever he was doing, eating wasn't his priority. He is home now and eating well again. Meow Meow got thinner and thinner and more and more listless. Sad to see. Such a happy cat a year ago and now, at about the age of 20 months or so he died. He died last night after a short bout of sickness and that is the end of Meow Meow. Everyone and everything who brings joy and leaves memories deserves an obituary. So hail and farewell Meow Meow: you are free now! DW

Excel Solutions for Accountants

That is the title of my new book on Excel and here is the Introduction to the three volume set: a total of about 200 pages.

Introduction to Excel Solutions for Accountants

Duncan Williamson

April 2015

This book will be published by www.bookboon.comearly in June 2015 and of course this introduction is subject to change between now and then.

This is the first in a series of three books with the title of Excel Solutions for Accountants.

The essence of the book is that we have chosen a series of topics that we believe are of direct interest and relevance to accountants: we know that from the work we do every day. That is not to say that everything an accountant ever needs or does is included in this book; rather it’s a general book aimed at the accountant who knows that Excel can be made to do a lot more than it does but he just doesn’t know what that might be.

We have taken a very hands on approach with this book and for everything we talk about there is something for you to do: there is a spreadsheet for you to work with, too, so that you can always check your work and your accuracy at every stage.

One of our over riding ambitions was to make this book both as direct and as easy to use as possible. You will not find massive files with hideously complex formulas in them, each of which might take you an hour or two just to begin to unravel. What we have done is to give you straightforward examples with non complex lists and databases so that you come to learn the techniques and functions rather than worrying about the database.

Part One of the book comprises the following

Accountant Specific 1Excel TablesDepreciationRatio Analysis 1Graphs 1Pivot Tables 1

You can see immediately from the titles of these chapters that the accountant is the target here!

Secondly you should see that four of the chapters have the number 1 after them: that tells you that in books 2 and/or 3 there is another chapter or chapters on the same topic. Take a look at the contents of books 2 and 3:

Part TwoPart ThreeAccountant Specific 2Accountant Specific 3Compound Interest and Discounting: the time value of moneyDashboardingData Validation and Form ControlsPivot Tables 3Ratio Analysis 2ForecastingGraphs 2BudgetingPivot Tables 2AGGREGATE, OFFSET and SOLVER

More than one way to skin a cat! We present one or more solutions to the problems we present in this book and from time to time we say: Excel provides more than one way to solve this problem. If you already know a better way to solve a problem than we are presenting, stay with it. Even if you think our method is better but are happy with your own method, stick with it if it doesn’t mean you are wasting time or being inefficient. Don’t be stubborn though: like the cost accountant who saw our solution to his problem but preferred not to follow our advice: that meant he preferred to wait 20 minutes every morning for his main Excel file to open and then wait a further 45 seconds or so every time he pressed the Enter key. Our solution meant no waiting time at all as we replaced his 30,000 volatile function workbook with a Pivot Table based solution that provided almost instant responses.

Templates: we have tried at every stage of every chapter of this book to provide templates for you to work with and/or create. After all, what’s the point of programming a spreadsheet over and over again when you shouldn’t have to? Excel deals with some of the most predictable things you can do and templates are consistent with that. Therefore, take each of our examples either as a template or as your template in the making. We stress PPP too: paper, pencil, plan. The PPP approach means, don’t just dive in to a spreadsheet problem, take you time and plan it out on paper first. Then develop your solution. Then derive your template if appropriate.

A total of 18 chapters and by the end of all three books we believe you can easily call yourself an intermediate user of Excel. We also feel that you will have unlocked so much potential in Excel that you will want more and more from it.

This book has been written with Excel 2013 for Windows: that will mean that some of the things we have done will be a little bit different sometimes from what any other version of Excel might do. We have kept such differences to a minimum, however. Nevertheless, we would encourage you to upgrade to 2013 soon anyway.

Other sources of help for Excel: there are many sources of help other than Excel itself. Here are just a few examples of where to get help: just search for these online to get there!

excelmaster.co: my own Excel BlogExcel-G: online/email based discussion list for general level questions on Excel. There are about 1,000 members of this group and they are friendly and really helpful people. Please note, this is a general level list and anything too advanced should be directed at …Excel-L: online/email based discussion list for Excel Developers. This is the more advanced list and seems to concentrate mainly on VBA problems and solutions.OzGrid: this is a free and commercial site offering some brilliant resources.chandoo.org: this is another really useful site whose founder, Chandoo, has the objective of making you awesome in Excel! A lot of the materials on this site are free but some of them are commercial. Chandoo also offers online and offline courses.Jon Peltier: Jon seems to be the world’s foremost authority on graphs and charts. Again, this is a combined free and commercial site but there are many wonderful free resources on there.Mr Excel: Bill Jelen is a prolific Excel materials developer and explanator! Bill provides a lot of free and highly commendable materials, again both free and commercial.Charley Kyd: Charley has specialised in the past in dashboarding and whilst he still does that, he offers a lot of free Excel based materials too. Well worth searching out.John Walkenbach: John has been around for ages and he writes the Excel Bibles, among other Excel based titles. John is always comprehensive and has a lot of useful things to offerYouTube: there are many thousands of videos on YouTube now and more appear every day. Some of them are really very good and others will leave you wondering what on earth they were trying to say. It’s pot luck really but once you find a good YouTube provider, stick with them!

There are many more people/organisations/lists that can help you so these are just a few of the ones we recommend.

DW

Excel Solutions for Accountants

That is the title of my new book on Excel and here is the Introduction to the three volume set: a total of about 200 pages.

Introduction to Excel Solutions for Accountants

Duncan Williamson

April 2015

This book will be published by www.bookboon.com early in June 2015 and of course this introduction is subject to change between now and then.

This is the first in a series of three books with the title of Excel Solutions for Accountants.

The essence of the book is that we have chosen a series of topics that we believe are of direct interest and relevance to accountants: we know that from the work we do every day. That is not to say that everything an accountant ever needs or does is included in this book; rather it’s a general book aimed at the accountant who knows that Excel can be made to do a lot more than it does but he just doesn’t know what that might be.

We have taken a very hands on approach with this book and for everything we talk about there is something for you to do: there is a spreadsheet for you to work with, too, so that you can always check your work and your accuracy at every stage.

One of our over riding ambitions was to make this book both as direct and as easy to use as possible. You will not find massive files with hideously complex formulas in them, each of which might take you an hour or two just to begin to unravel. What we have done is to give you straightforward examples with non complex lists and databases so that you come to learn the techniques and functions rather than worrying about the database.

Part One of the book comprises the following

• Accountant Specific 1


• Excel Tables


• Depreciation


• Ratio Analysis 1


• Graphs 1


• Pivot Tables 1

You can see immediately from the titles of these chapters that the accountant is the target here!

Secondly you should see that four of the chapters have the number 1 after them: that tells you that in books 2 and/or 3 there is another chapter or chapters on the same topic. Take a look at the contents of books 2 and 3:

Part Two	Part Three
Accountant Specific 2	Accountant Specific 3
Compound Interest and Discounting: the time value of money	Dashboarding
Data Validation and Form Controls	Pivot Tables 3
Ratio Analysis 2	Forecasting
Graphs 2	Budgeting
Pivot Tables 2	AGGREGATE, OFFSET and SOLVER

More than one way to skin a cat! We present one or more solutions to the problems we present in this book and from time to time we say: Excel provides more than one way to solve this problem. If you already know a better way to solve a problem than we are presenting, stay with it. Even if you think our method is better but are happy with your own method, stick with it if it doesn’t mean you are wasting time or being inefficient. Don’t be stubborn though: like the cost accountant who saw our solution to his problem but preferred not to follow our advice: that meant he preferred to wait 20 minutes every morning for his main Excel file to open and then wait a further 45 seconds or so every time he pressed the Enter key. Our solution meant no waiting time at all as we replaced his 30,000 volatile function workbook with a Pivot Table based solution that provided almost instant responses.

Templates: we have tried at every stage of every chapter of this book to provide templates for you to work with and/or create. After all, what’s the point of programming a spreadsheet over and over again when you shouldn’t have to? Excel deals with some of the most predictable things you can do and templates are consistent with that. Therefore, take each of our examples either as a template or as your template in the making. We stress PPP too: paper, pencil, plan. The PPP approach means, don’t just dive in to a spreadsheet problem, take you time and plan it out on paper first. Then develop your solution. Then derive your template if appropriate.

A total of 18 chapters and by the end of all three books we believe you can easily call yourself an intermediate user of Excel. We also feel that you will have unlocked so much potential in Excel that you will want more and more from it.

This book has been written with Excel 2013 for Windows: that will mean that some of the things we have done will be a little bit different sometimes from what any other version of Excel might do. We have kept such differences to a minimum, however. Nevertheless, we would encourage you to upgrade to 2013 soon anyway.

Other sources of help for Excel: there are many sources of help other than Excel itself. Here are just a few examples of where to get help: just search for these online to get there!

• excelmaster.co: my own Excel Blog


• Excel-G: online/email based discussion list for general level questions on Excel. There are about 1,000 members of this group and they are friendly and really helpful people. Please note, this is a general level list and anything too advanced should be directed at …


• Excel-L: online/email based discussion list for Excel Developers. This is the more advanced list and seems to concentrate mainly on VBA problems and solutions.


• OzGrid: this is a free and commercial site offering some brilliant resources.


• chandoo.org: this is another really useful site whose founder, Chandoo, has the objective of making you awesome in Excel! A lot of the materials on this site are free but some of them are commercial. Chandoo also offers online and offline courses.


• Jon Peltier: Jon seems to be the world’s foremost authority on graphs and charts. Again, this is a combined free and commercial site but there are many wonderful free resources on there.


• Mr Excel: Bill Jelen is a prolific Excel materials developer and explanator! Bill provides a lot of free and highly commendable materials, again both free and commercial.


• Charley Kyd: Charley has specialised in the past in dashboarding and whilst he still does that, he offers a lot of free Excel based materials too. Well worth searching out.


• John Walkenbach: John has been around for ages and he writes the Excel Bibles, among other Excel based titles. John is always comprehensive and has a lot of useful things to offer


• YouTube: there are many thousands of videos on YouTube now and more appear every day. Some of them are really very good and others will leave you wondering what on earth they were trying to say. It’s pot luck really but once you find a good YouTube provider, stick with them!

There are many more people/organisations/lists that can help you so these are just a few of the ones we recommend.

Cowardly Ratbag

Just before he ran away, some coward did this to my car.

Robin Red Breast

As children we sang about the Robin Red Breast at school. I never saw any anywhere. My sister and her daughter's family keep a bird feeding station and all sorts of birds appear there.

Yesterday a Robin appeared and stayed long enough for me to take photos of it. Here is one of them: taken through the double glazed window of a door!

DW

Froggie

I was looking for a cigarette lighter this morning to burn our rubbish and Mrs W said it might be somewhere on the entrance patio so I went to look. My walking books have been on the patio for months and I looked in them. aaaagghh! there was a frog in one of them. Mrs W came out to look as she is not such a creepy crawly coward and said it was no longer there. I looked again ... aaaggghh! There it was, still there! Mrs W got it out and it hopped off. I decided I was brave enough to take some photographs and here is one that I processed using Photoshop together with the original snap!

Another Book

I have been commissioned to write another book. Working title: Excel for accountants.

15 to 20 chapters of high quality explanations with loads of examples.

Will keep you informed!

DW

Buriram United AFC Champions League Game

We got here 30 minutes late but Burian already two goals up.

Playing Seongnan FC from South Korea

DW

What Happens in a Cat Fight

I left the house yesterday and, as normal, locked the door. Then Mrs W and I went on a 20 mile waste of time drive since we were going to the market but realised, a couple of miles short of our mission, that neither of us had money or cards with us.

Home!

Dogs running excitedly around our house. Sisters shouted excitedly at Mrs W. Mrs W relayed the message: our tom cat and their tom cat were both locked in our house and were fighting ... they fight two or three times a week, sadly.

I opened the door and Ginger was there surrounded by six or seven clumps of his fur. It had taken a lot of effort to do that I'm sure. Ginger calmly left and settled himself at the front of the house.

I couldn't see or hear the other cat but I caught a smell. I followed my nose and got to the dining room. All I can say is that I am glad there is no carpet in there. Excrement covered half of the floor and it was on the wall, table legs and chair legs.

I can't imagine the battle that must have taken place but it was clearly hard fought and one of the cats was more nervous than the other.

As I left the dining room to summon Mrs W for help I met the other cat, Meow Meow. As I sometimes do with the dogs,  I clapped my hands as a way to get his attention and, surprisingly, he turned tail and skittered under the settee.

After a minute Meow Meow left the house and sauntered away: Ginger saw him, arched his back and hissed the hiss of a fearful or aggressive cat. I am not sure which cat Ginger is but I have seen him running and hiding from Meow Meow before.

In conclusion,  it took us a while to clean the dining room but I was sorry that I had inadvertently locked both cats in the house. I had no idea Ginger was at home let alone Meow Meow. I'll certainly make sure I don't do that again!

DW

I passed and what does a vegetarian taste like?

I passed my MOOC: my Data Analysis course with the University of Texas at Austin. 82% overall.

In Brunei I found pot noodles: vegetarian flavour. My question is, what does a vegetarian taste like?

DW

Two New Cases

Here are two new Excel based cases I have just prepared that I know some of you will appreciate.

UK Petrol Prices

I downloaded a file of all retail petrol and diesel prices for the UK from 2003 to 2014. The task is to prepare an interactive table so that the user just enters a date in one cell and the table then shows the

• retail pump price per litre


• duty per litre


• VAT percentage


• calculation of the cost of the petrol net of duty and VAT

This case involves the use of a variety of techniques including

• VLOOKUP()


• Data Validation


• IFERROR()


• Paste Special Multiply

Here's an example of my output:



 

This video summarises the case:

[wpvideo nw5NNOOh]

Sleep Requirements.

In today's Borneo Bulletin newspaper there is an article on the sleep requirements of people of all ages. They give the requirements such as, a new born baby needs from 14 to 17 hours a day ... someone over 65 years of age needs from 7 to 8 hours sleep a day.

The task is to turn a photo of the data into a table and a chart that communicates as effectively as possible: I prepared the following:





 

Please feel free to write to me at any time to ask for the spreadsheets that accompany these cases. At the moment they are live cases and I won't release them generally until the course has finished in a week's time..

Duncan Williamson