AA Gill

AA Gill writes a column for the Sunday Times magazine: I think it's about restaurants he visits and the food he eats there. I have to tell you that either that man is seriously ill or he is suffering from delusions of an ability to write coherently. I will be posting extracts from last week's column here when I get home, later today. I thought the education system Gill went through didn't start collapsing until the mid 1980s. You will see my assumption in that regard was misplaced. UPDATE A bit late but here is the sort of utter claptrap that passes for journalism these days: The mousseline de brochette et grenouille. Try to picture it. Sitting, nay, levitating in the centre of a circular white table big enough to play Olympic blow football on. This dish is deceptively simple. It looks like a gateau for the type of woman who says let them eat cake. In fact, it's savoury: a fish mousseline, as smooth as a warm Baileys enema administered by Charles Aznavour by candlelight, with the wobbly texture of a contemplative nun's genuflecting buttock. The flavour is pale and interesting; a clear whisper of dark, chalky pools and shimmering, placid, terror faced pike, a taste emphatic and resonant and round, but at the same time restrained, elegant and intimate, like the gesture of a hand laid on the bade of your neck, or the shadow glimpsed under a summer bridge. This emulsion of silky profundity, this boneless evocation of memories, scents and savours is one of the most difficult things to accomplish in all gastronomy: that delicate line between bland and bold and only the haute French can really be bothered to find it. But we're not finished yet. Interred inside the mousseline are the boned and poached legs of small, green Jeremy Fishers. Their flavour, too, is ambivalent; caught between the earth and the water, they owe a little something to both. And they are, of course, the natural dinner of the pike. They go so well together, an antipathy in life that becomes harmony in death. I understand that AA Gill is dyslexic and has to dictate his work to a secretary. Well, if I were the secretary I would edit it before submitting it. DW Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device