You know you've been Gatesed when ...

... you create and save a Word 2007 file as a Word 97 - 2003 file and think you can take it to another computer running Office 2003 to open it and print it.

• Of course the first Windows computer will try to open it as a Notepad file. Then it will tell you that the file is corrupt.
• Of course the second Windows computer will be unable to identify your USB memory stick
• Of course the third Windows computer will open the file but be completely unable to open the very simple jpg graphics that the file has embedded in it

So, go back to your original file in Word 2007 and save it as a PDF file. Take it out of Gates' hands. I should have done that in the first place.

Ah but there's more.

Last night as I was preparing the document I knew I'd got a copy on my system: it just had to be there. I even knew the key words and everything. I searched in my main working folder and sub folders but Windows Explorer in Vista told me it didn't exist. I changed the key word a few times and each time I got the same result: nothing.

I used manual methods and found what I wanted.

This morning I thought I'd try the search again since it had failed on this file and on several others. Now it worked.

Something I have noticed of late, only lately, is that if I put the computer to sleep, it wakes up with a headache and often refuses to let me surf the web and download my emails: using a browser and Outlook 2007.

Let's all buy an Apple Mac

I see that Apple are releasing more of their wondrous products and I'm telling you, the next comp I get will be as far removed from Bill Gates as I can get.

Just one example of the ad I've see today says that I can get as much as seven hours out of an Apple laptop battery. That's as opposed to the hour - hour and a half I get and have only ever got from all of the laptops I've ever owned and used. Sorry, I don't want to hear that Jimmy Shand plc's laptops can last for a fortnight because that's just the start of it!

Apple has also SHRUNK its OS by 6 Gb ... when did MS ever shrink anything except our wallets and our productivity?

Apple has also shrunk the price of their OS to £29 from £150 (I THINK they are correct).

I will tell you what Windows laptops are good for: hand warmers in Winter as they invariably made the CPU run to capacity whatever else is on board and therefore generate many BTUs of heat.

DW