Now, this is exactly what I was talking about before. After Zara Phillips won the BBC Sport's Personality of the Year award, I said here that if only they'd thought of this before, they would have entered the Queen Mother for the same competition. I was thinking expecially of the QM as a 90+ year old just to show that all she needed to do to win the award was to be a Royal. She would have won. Now I have been vindicated as Helen Mirren has won an Oscar for something that looks like a ropey story in, at best, 'Made for TV' style. She won it by PRETENDING to be the Queen. Let's run amok now and get Charles Battenburg on one of these dancing or skating things where people of no talent but who are known by some of the population as celebrities thrown themselves into an activity that is really aimed at reviving their careers and making them loads of money. Now, Chuck doesn't need the money as he receives the equivalent of a lottery win every year of his life. He would obviously give any winnings to charity but he would win. Keep running amok and put Harry Battenburg in one of those 'Whose baby' programmes: that could really be interesting couldn't it? Add a DNA test element and we're off! Whatever the outcome Hal would win whatever was up for grabs. How about Wills Battenburg in a celebrity being dead concerned programme where the public votes off someone week by week. Put him up against other celebs who are dead concerned like Sting, George Michael, Madonna (another Queen), Angelina Jolie and Mother Theresa (I know she's met her maker but when she was alive she was concerned and now she's expired she really is dead concerned). Wills would walk it: it's his genetic ability to be dead concerned as both mother and father are or were dead concerned. Just today, Chuck, his dad, is in Dubai being concerned about children going to eat at McDonald's. See? Then put Camilla Pork Bag Bowels on one of those 'Don't wear that stuff' programmes with those women who are as hoity toity as Camilla herself. DW