Well, he did ask!

I was asked what I thought about the World Cup in South Africa. I'm afraid I got a bit bilious and here is the cleaned up version of what I said!

I have seen very little of the WC. The quality of reception in central asia is poor even though there's a dish supposedly pointing at Dubai on our roof. Happily I saw only a fraction of just one of the England games. They are a disgrace and have been for years. Abysmal players who earn vast fortunes and strut the world as if they know what football is. In truth, they are all just looking for the next woman to get to grips with. When they get caught with some tart, the wife throws up her hands in horror, runs off to their house in Dubai (they've all got one). He then tearfully takes time off to fly to our favourite Emirate to beg for forgiveness. The nation holds its breath.

The wife is now firmly ensconced as the injured party and is given celebrity status as a singer or actress or model ... they get to choose. In the case of that B****** slapper, she can design cars cos the world is populated by men who "know" cars cos they can tell their quality by kicking a tyre in a car show room.

Some players are clever. one player has just engineered a scam by having a sex scandal "erroneously" sent by text to many people. In horror he contacted the newspapers ... lies, lies he says. This oaf is now in the clear to spread his seed all over the delights of his district. Saves worrying about the football cos that Itie is taking the rap for that gaff!

DW