Goodness, it's August Already

Just came back from a trip and my sponsor paid my taxi fare from airport to hotel.

Well, I gave them the receipt for airport to hotel and they doubled it to cover that and the return journey.

Just my luck that this morning's return taxi was a metred car. So, budget was smashed and instead of breaking even, I ended up paying one third of the fares myself.

DW

New Video! -

Schedule for August - November 2015

If you are in the market to be trained in financial modelling and/or International Financial Reporting Standards, take a look at my schedule of public courses for the next few months. I might be coming to a town near you! Just write to me here, comment/respond; and I will refer you to the sponsoring company for details and to get you signed up. Looking forward to seeing you soon! DW

Fran gets Another Honour

Daughter Fran has just been awarded another honour from another UK University ...

Well done again!

DW

Excel Solutions ... book 3

It's here now ... http://bookboon.com/en/excel-solutions-for-accountants-book-3-ebook

DW

The Chaos by Gerard Nolst Trenité

I think this poem is the best poem I know: http://ncf.idallen.com/english.html If you think you know English or you are learning it, this is for you. Gerard Nolst Trenité - The Chaos (1922) Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation, I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse. I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy; Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear; Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer. Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it! Just compare heart, hear and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word. Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written). Made has not the sound of bade, Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid. Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague, But be careful how you speak, Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak , Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir; Woven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe. Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore, Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles, Missiles, similes, reviles. Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining, Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far. From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier, Topsham, brougham, renown, but known, Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone, One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel. Gertrude, German, wind and wind, Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind, Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather. This phonetic labyrinth Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth. Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed, Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul, Peter, petrol and patrol? Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki. Discount, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward, Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK. Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia. Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot, Buoyant, minute, but minute. Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition; Would it tally with my rhyme If I mentioned paradigm? Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy? Cornice, nice, valise, revise, Rabies, but lullabies. Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious, You'll envelop lists, I hope, In a linen envelope. Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit. To abjure, to perjure. Sheik Does not sound like Czech but ache. Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed but vowed. Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover. Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice, Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, penal, and canal, Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal, Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it", But it is not hard to tell Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall. Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion, Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor, Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer. Pussy, hussy and possess, Desert, but desert, address. Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants. Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb, Cow, but Cowper, some and home. "Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor", Making, it is sad but true, In bravado, much ado. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant. Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic. Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close, Paradise, rise, rose, and dose. Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle. Mind! Meandering but mean, Valentine and magazine. And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many, Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier, Tier (one who ties), but tier. Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring? Prison, bison, treasure trove, Treason, hover, cover, cove, Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled. Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw, Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw. Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet; Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon, Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn. Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling. Evil, devil, mezzotint, Mind the z! (A gentle hint.) Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention, Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws, Rhyming with the pronoun yours; Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did, Funny rhymes to unicorn, Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan. No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley. No. Yet Froude compared with proud Is no better than McLeod. But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial, Troll and trolley, realm and ream, Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme. Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh, But you're not supposed to say Piquet rhymes with sobriquet. Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid, How uncouth he, couchant, looked, When for Portsmouth I had booked! Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty, Episodes, antipodes, Acquiesce, and obsequies. Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor, Rather say in accents pure: Nature, stature and mature. Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly, Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan, Wan, sedan and artisan. The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w. Say then these phonetic gems: Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames. Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em- Wait! I've got it: Anthony, Lighten your anxiety. The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it; With and forthwith, one has voice, One has not, you make your choice. Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger. Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, age, Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury, Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth, Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath. Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners Holm you know, but noes, canoes, Puisne, truism, use, to use? Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual, Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height, Put, nut, granite, and unite. Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late, Hint, pint, senate, but sedate. Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific; Tour, but our, dour, succour, four, Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it Bona fide, alibi Gyrate, dowry and awry. Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean, Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion, Rally with ally; yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay! Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver. Never guess-it is not safe, We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf. Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie, Face, but preface, then grimace, Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging; Ear, but earn; and ere and tear Do not rhyme with here but heir. Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan, With the sound of saw and sauce; Also soft, lost, cloth and cross. Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting. Respite, spite, consent, resent. Liable, but Parliament. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen, Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk, Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work. A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper), G of gibbet, gibbon, gist, I of antichrist and grist, Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers. Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll, Polish, Polish, poll and poll. Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky. Won't it make you lose your wits Writing groats and saying "grits"? It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale, Islington, and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father? Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough?? Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP! DW

Excel Solutions ... Volume 2

It's here now ... http://bookboon.com/en/excel-solutions-for-accountants-book-2-ebook

Excel Solutions for Accountants

Book One of a series of three books is now online ... http://bookboon.com/en/excel-solutions-for-accountants-book-1-ebook DW

Abi

Update on Abi ...

She is over two weeks old now and coming along nicely.

She feeds well on mother's milk. She sleeps, wakes and feeds according to norms.

She flails her arms and legs at times, especially when she is hungry. She wears gloves all of the time to prevent scratches and they look a bit funny!

Mrs W expresses some of her milk so that others can feed her from time to time and I fed her for the first time after two weeks. I have fed her a couple of times after that too.

Delightful and good natured girl.

DW

Does my Bum Look Big in This?

I know! Who would do such a thing? Not me but it's the family dog!

DW

Funny Food

I eat local food in all sorts of places but whilst this is not weird it's odd.

Buttered bread with curry sauce. It claimed to be naan bread bit it was far too light for that.

The curry sauce was nice I have to say.

Glutinous rice now!

DW

Jaundice

Like many babies, Abi's got a touch of jaundice so she's undergoing blue light treatment! Another day or so in hospital.

Otherwise she seems to be doing well. Almost back to her birth weight.

DO

Sirinada Abigail Williamson

My second daughter arrived yesterday at 11:40 am local time.

3.36 kg or 7 lbs 6 oz.

Fighting fit and she was born by caesarian section.

Wishing her a long, happy and peaceful life.

Parenthood

A poem what I wrote in anticipation ...

DW

Space Travel

I flew from Kuala Lumpur to Bangkok with EgyptAir last night. In the row behind me was a family that included three children who were all bilingual: English and Arabic. They switched from language to language frequently.

As we sped down the runway, the forward camera was being shown on the television screens and as we lifted off, the airport and city lights were replaced by starlight, almost in an instant.

In a beautiful deadpan voice, the girl behind me said, when she saw the stars, "We're into space?" I wish I'd recorded the moment!

DW

Are you Listening?

I was accused of not listening to someone the other day: someone who called me to deliver a monologue. As I naively believed it should be a dialogue I spoke. I tried it once. Then spoke only when I was asked something.

The other day a manager from the hotel came to talk to me and said I should use trip advisor of agoda to rate their hotel ... good and bad, he said. As we talked, again more of a monologue than a dialogue I said, there are two important things in a hotel ... I told him the first one and as I started to tell him my second one, he was already talking again.

Last night, I was waiting for my suitcase at the airport when a fellow passenger came and started talking.  At first I didn't follow what he was talking about.  I don't think he knew either! Well, it settled down and I learned about the price of his ticket,  his route, his view on various airlines, where he lived, where he worked, the comfort of the plane we had just shared, his accounting department's views on his expenses and more.

I started to offer something of my own.but he started looking around and something behind me caught his eye. I was unwittingly engaged in another monologue. I stopped talking and thankfully my suitcase arrived. We went our separate ways.

DW

I am a Hacker!

This is true:

DW

Coat Hanger Capital

I think Thailand is the coat hanger capital of the world.

This week a new mall opened in town and in one of the shops there were hundreds of coat hangers prominently displayed.

All over Thailand, coat hangers are big business!

DW

Pardon?

So I went to England in March for visa and passport business and I felt cold there. It was cold and I was there for about two weeks.

Towards the end of the trip I got a sore throat: painful but it didn't seem to spread.  Or so I thought.

When I got back home my left ear became blocked and I lost a lot of hearing power in it. I got some antibiotics and took them for a week. Still infected, still deaf.

I saw a doctor who gave me more antibiotics and anti histamines for a week. Still infected, still deaf.

I went to the hospital where the doctor gave me antibiotics and pseudo ephedrine ... for two weeks. Still deaf, still infected.

I came to Brunei and my research told me that all of their doctors are highly trained in Europe,  Australia ... I went to a clinic and was given antibiotics and anti fungal drops. For three days I noticed nothing but then ... ta daa ... big improvement. As I write this,  my hearing is almost back to normal and in two days I can stop the treatment.

My question is: what kind of infection did I get and why?

Happy to be cured.

DW

You like Beetles?

Then take a look at this beauty: the Sugarcane Longhorn Stemborer, long horn borer ... in Latin, DORYSTHENES BUQUETI. Found in our garden in Notth East Thailand this afternoon. The antennae are 4.5 inches across! Which is your favourite? DW