Are you Kidding?

I got home from Dubai early this morning and after pottering about for a while, went to bed to catch up on some sleep. At 1:30 pm the phone rang: at the other end was someone who introduced himself as representing an organisation which would save me money on all sorts of things. I listened politely as I was genuinely interested.

After a while this man asked me for my credit card details but I said I won’t give him them. So he said, give me your bank account details and we won’t take anything for a week: I said I never do that over the phone.

When he got the message that I would not be ready to hand over all of my banking details nem con, he just put the phone down on me!

I am sure this person will convince many people to hand over their cash but I won’t go on their list.

DW

The Will Self Challenge ANOTHER Update

I will try not to be emotive but a couple of weeks ago, Will Self, some sort of hack, was in his cups on BBC Newsnight and at the end of his time on there he was allowed to say that if only they would give him the £9 billion that they are spending on the London Olympics, he would create more jobs than the Olympics.

I have finally got round to writing to Mr Self today and I have asked him how his job creation plans are going, vitally needed as they are at this time in the UK's business and economic cycle.

Should Self deign to reply I will post his responses here.

UPDATE as at 14th October 2011: no response so far. I'll remind him later!

UPDATE as at 20th October 2011:. I wrote again to Self following a rant of his on Radio 4 on Sunday morning but no reply. I'll give him one more chance and then think of another tack if that fails.

UPDATE as at 10th November 2011: I have written twice since I last reported back here and this shameless man will not put his money where his mouth is. He brazenly told the British people that he could provide many more jobs for £9 billion than the 2012 Olympic organisation can but he will not develop it further when someone calls his bluff. What a chancer and thank God I have never bought any of his publications so he is not getting fat or buying his fags and wine on my money.

DW

Come off it Dr Fox

Liam Fox is the UK's Defence Secretary. He has been caught helping his best friend by taking him with him on a variety of trips and jollies around the world. This includes attending meetings with various senior businessmen and politicians. Now, maybe Mr Wettery likes to be associated with the high flying people but I suspect something less savoury. I suspect that this man has managed to get himself in the front of some very senior decision makers free of charge and without any barriers. No doubt we will find that Wettery is a businessman himself and he has been chasing deals as he was feted by Fox and others. These people really think nothing of abusing their positions to get on in life. I think Faux Prime Minister Cameron will be ready to sacrifice Fox, against his fondest desires. These people will never learn!!! DW

The Perils of Sitting TOO Still

As children we are hyperactive and can't sit still for long. I know there are fears for modern children who are dumping themselves in front of television and computer screens and who are far too sedentary. However, as we get older we really can sit still ... the twitching stops, the jumping up and down to see who just walked past the house stops and the walk to the telephone is not needed any more!!! So, older people are settled as if we are living out our parents' dreams! There is a price to pay for this inactivity. Are you aware that piles (haemorrhoids) can be brought on or exacerbated by sitting still too long? Other pressure points in the same general seating area can suffer the same fate. Learn to go for a long walk every day. Drink more, not alcohol either. Eat more fruit and veg. More than that, learn to recognise the differencet between a pressure sore and an infection. If you've got a pressure sore that's not to serious, learn to cure it yourself: walking, drinking ... Buy a cushion, stand rather than sit from time to time, walk rather than sit from time to time. DW

Welcome to my iPad 2

If you are in the UK you will a most certainly be asleep now. If you are in Dubai, as I am, you will probably be asleep still. It is early, Well, anyway, here I am having taken the plunge: I bought a iPad 2. Suddenly I got the chance to try one properly and saw several advantages to them. Here we are! I should be back to blogging here more often again rather than sending everything to the increasingly scary Facebook. DW

To Sleep, Perchance to Sleep far too long!

Got home around 9:30 am yesterday after my Far East Holiday and pottered about with coffee, unpacking, emails etc and then had something to eat.

At around 1 pm I went to bed for a LIE DOWN ... 10 hours later, I woke up! Doh! I normally sleep for 2 - 3 - 4 hours on return but 10 hours? Never done that before.

So, I have been awake since 11 pm. The good part is that I finished The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest: book three of the fantastic Millennium Trilogy by Stieg Larsson.

At 5 am I will go to the supermarket! Never done that before either … shopping so early!!

DW

Tip for Travellers

If you decide to have a bowl of cereal for breakfast do NOT spill milk down your shirt and trousers at the  very beginning of your journey.

DW

I might be Interested but it has to be a two way Street!

I came home from holiday phase one today and as we were sitting on the tarmac at Schipol Airport, the man next to me asked me, "Where are you coming from then?" I told him and he then announced that he was returning home from Indonesia where his son has been teaching English as a foreign language for a year.

Normally, I sit on aeroplanes and keep myself to myself. Sometimes I have sat next to old people, especially, who seem to be a bit befuddled and I might talk to them. If someone talks to me, I will reply.

So, this chap told me about his trip, he listened politely to some of what I said in return but once he was satisfied that I knew about his son and their trip to Indonesia, he got his book out and started reading!

That's FYI, people!

DW

Red Bean and Vegetable Stew

Every now and then I come across or even create some excellent food: this dish is one of those moments. Try it, adapt it as you wish and then enjoy it … no meat, no fuss, very little cost!

Ingredients

• 1 medium sized onion, halved then sliced
• two medium sized carrots, sliced
• 2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
• 6 - 8 button mushrooms, sliced or chopped or left whole
• can of chopped tomatoes (optional)
• two medium sized potatoes, each cut into 8 - 10 pieces
• can of red kidney beans
• tomato paste/puree
• seasoning
• oil for frying

Method

heat the oil to medium heat and throw in the garlic: allow them to cook for a few seconds to release their flavour and then add the onions and carrots. let these cook until the onions are soft and see through

add mushrooms and potatoes, stir and cook for a further few minutes, to heat the potatoes through a little

add two heaped teaspoons of tomato paste and the entire can of beans, juices included

then quickly add the entire can of chopped tomatoes with additional boiling water if needed OR boiling water, to cover all of the ingredients then bring the pan to the boil*

put a lid on your pan/pot now and reduce the temperature to low to cook the stew on simmer for as long as it takes to cook the potatoes at which point the stew is ready

season to taste

*at this stage and as an alternative, you could put the stew in the oven on medium heat to cook the potatoes if you wish and that will enhance the flavour but extend the cooking time

This stew takes 15 minutes or so to prepare and about the same to cook, on the hob, longer in the oven. The stew is a meal in itself and will serve 2 - 4 people depending on which meal of the day and appetites. Crusty buttered bread goes well with it!

DW

Cricket: the definition

Me (as the news of England's mammoth victory over India and elevation back to world's number one status came in): Do you know anything about cricket?

Friend (female, not British): There's a team, a big stick and a ball. That's it!

Me: I see.

Isn't that the simplest definition of cricket you have ever seen?

DW

How to Make Chips ... PROPERLY

I watched a few episodes of a cookery programme by a chef turned cookery writer the other week. This man made appealing food and seemed to be a good and confident cook. He is NOT one of these artificial, ne'er do well, cooks from Yorkshire who says everything's lovely and it's his granny's recipe!!

However, Simon ... he's from Bury and called Simon can you believe ... extolled the virtues of double fried chips. My response to that? Tosh, utter tosh! Jack Locke would be turning in his grave if ever he heard that people said the perfect chip is the double fried chip.

Here is the ONLY way to make perfect chips, with or without a chip pan or deep fat fryer. Prepare the chips in the way you prefer (thin, thick, peeled or unpeeled ...) and bring your chosen fat to the correct temperature. Bring the fat back to the correct temperature as it WILL have cooled as the chips have been added. NOW, immediately reduce the temperature to low and cook the chips until they become soft, i.e. cooked. THEN turn the temperature high again and the fat will bubble with joy. Cook now until the chips are as brown and crisp as YOU like them. Bear in mind that the chips will turn brown very quickly so be careful not to overcook them.

THIS will give you perfect chips!

That's not to say that double fried chips aren't any good, maybe they are; but my method, culled from standing in the queue in Locke's chip shop as a child and watching how Jack made the perfect chip shop chip, is the ONLY way. I would guess that no chip shop worth its salt ever double fries its chips! Well, maybe that nancy cook from Yorkshire's granny did!

DW

Ironing: the laws

Here are some laws of ironing that I know everyone knows but maybe they haven’t been shared until now:

1 The crease that you accidentally iron in the wrong place will never come out

a) until the next time the garment is washed if it is a minor item of clothing
b) if the garment and the place on the garment where the crease is made is of strategic significance

2 The crease that you deliberately iron into a sleeve or a trouser leg is volatile and can be removed in a simple hiss of steam and will drop out almost immediately the garment is worn

3 The amount of water needed to complete your ironing with a standard (ie not travelling) steam iron is governed by the irritability law of ironing

wn = 0.25l + 1.35KgC

where:
wn = water needed
l = litre
KgC = litres per kilogrammes of clothes to be ironed

4 The temperature setting on an iron can be left at … for all things worn by males

5 The temperature setting on an iron is infinitely variable for all things worn by females

6 The corollary of rule 5 is that no male can ever understand and effectively apply rule 5

7 The amount of training required to iron clothes properly is in inverse proportion to the amount of training actually received.

I am sure there are many more of these laws and would love to hear them!

DW

Submerged … and under water too!

I heard this on the radio this morning:

they … submerged speakers … actually under the water

Midge Ure
Radio 4 at 11:31 am
11th August 2011
The Art of Water Music

DW

Too old to complain?

I need to write about this and send it to the BBC but if I did they would reply and tell me that I am too old and that they are aiming at a younger audience.

Fine!

Anyway, I just watched a “comedy” programme from the BBC on my laptop and the compere introduced each “act” by saying, “Give it up for X …” I know and you know that no one knows what on earth it means to give it up for someone or something. So,

Dear BBC … let’s have people speaking English on the BBC please.

In fact, I think I’ll start an ePetititon for that.

DW

If you enjoy a rant … have a ruddy good go!

I seem to remember that Gordon Brown got involved in this big society idea; and of course fell foul of it.

They’ve done it again and it’s a winner in my opinion. Take yourself along to this web site: http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk and click on view all petitions then start reading.

As I am reading down the list, sad to say that many of the petitions have earned just one vote. You start a debate on a matter of importance to you and you vote for it. You then wait for 99,999++ other people to agree with you at which point your idea MIGHT attract some parliamentary interest.

Of course I am reading them to see what kind of rants are getting through. Here’s an entertaining one entitled Reduce number of anti social 4x4s, started by Alex Gordon and you’ve only got until 7th August 2012 to vote for it or it will die, presumably. I won’t do any canvassing on the 4x4 rant but Gordon has a three point plan to do with 4x4s. For example, “3. Permit local councils to dictate all 4x4s registered in their area to be painted vibrant colours (eg bright pink) with slogans (eg I can’t help being selfish, sorry) and to ban very dark windows.”

Now’s your chance to get involved.

DW

Gone for a Walk!

After having spent so much time locked away in a guest house in Afghanistan, it is vital that I get my body as fit as possible again. Since some clown stole my car a few years ago I have been carless: that helps to get the pins moving as I have to walk everywhere.

So, on Friday, I trusted the weather forecast and set off from home to walk to Ogden Water in Halifax. The weather was pretty good but even though it's early August, I did the right thing to wear a pullover and shirt as well as taking a coat with me.

I  made a mistake by not checking my camera battery the night before: I had charged the battery over the weekend so was completely surprised to find the battery totally drained as I tried to take my first photo!

After that, I had an ordnance survey map with me and referred to it frequently: good practice and good safety I'd say. As a second safety device, I checked that my phone was working from time to time ... and it wasn't always working! There are black spots in phone coverage. However, the only black spot I found was at Ogden Water itself; and there were other people there!! So no damage done.

I spent a total of four hours on the hoof altogether and was absolutely warn out by the time I got home at 3 pm.

I had a long hot shower as soon as I got in as I was dripping in sweat: really, my shirt and pullover were drenched! I lay on the bed after the shower and fell asleep. A good day but there are so many hills and the terrain can be rough that the work was hard!

I was dreading Saturday but my legs had stood up well (pun intended!) and I walked to the supermarket and back and while I am no longer a whippet like young chap, it went well.

Today, Sunday, I can walk up and down stairs without dragging myself with the aid of the bannister!

I want to take another walk today but it is persistently tipping it down!

Remember, I couldn't use my good camera but my phone camera did quite well ...

You'll find many more photos and a video on my Facebook page ... why not hurtle over there now?
DW

So that's where it went ...

When you are completely flummoxed as to where you put that blender, don't forget to look at that box on the balcony outside the kitchen: the balcony that's open to the elements, wind, rain, hail, snow ...

That's a top tip.

DW

Witchcraft or is it that Steve Jobs knows what he’s doing?

So I bought a MacBook Pro and all is well. I have yet to learn all of its ins and outs but it starts quickly, comes out of hibernation quickly, opens software quickly. Macs update software in a tidy and orderly manner …

Following on from my Windows mayhem of the other day, I bought, downloaded and installed OS Lion for the Mac last night and it worked. The file is a monstrous 3.5 Gb but i let it download and once it had, it took 40 minutes or so to install and reboot … ready for action.

The promised features are installed and they work. Instantly available la la la.

Some of the features, such as moving between pages and files and software by sliding … truly beautiful!

We used to have the blue screen of death with Windows. Windows XP seemed to get rid of it. I am getting more and more and more blue wheels of death now with Vista and Windows 7. Blue wheel and Not Responding messages. Tired of them.

So far Jobs 10 v Gates 0

DW

You think I’d Learn!

Following on from my previous post, I volunteered for the self inflicted wound of accepting an invitation to install Internet Explorer 9. Why did I think that would be any good?

I started using it and found that I was chopped off from Facebook every two or three minutes. I thought, hmm, poor connection.

After a gap of a couple of hours, I logged on again to Facebook and was cast out yet again so I put two and two together and closed IE9 probably never to open it again. I can’t remember the details but I had a similar experience when IE8 was now and I rarely used that too.

We now know that there’s only one way that Bill Gates III got to be so wealthy don’t we?

DW

Gatesed AGAIN!

My limp wristed HP laptop has been in storage since April but had to be dragged into service this week. I have spent the week in Saudi Arabia, back on the road; and needed to use and demonstrate Excel 2007 … installed on the HP laptop.

Here’s the truth: when one leaves a laptop in storage for four months, there are many, many, many updates to download once the thing is revived. This week I have been caught out to the nth degree. Monday was bad but today was the worst.

On Monday I downloaded and installed some Windows nonsense and the thing ran slower than a very slow thing … spreadsheets had their buttons all grey … I overcame all of that. Then Wednesday, today: i knew last night that I had downloaded and started to install some more Windows nonsense last night. This morning, I started the computer at 5:45 am … yes FIVE 45 am: I had things to do. An hour and a half later, having not been able to do any work, I thought my worries were over. Remember, I had things to do … I hadn’t been able to do them.

Because I wasn’t able to do my work, I was caught short initially but being cool and suave I overcame all obstacles.

The moral of this story: buy a Mac!

DW